No one acknowledged my 60th birthday

[Radley60]

I'm new to this so I hope I'm posting in the right place but I just needed someone to vent to I guess. I just had my 60th birthday. I was looking forward to having a nice day but my family never even acknowledged me. No happy birthday, no gifts, no meal nothing, zilch, zero. I know most people would just say "you're 60 get over it" but I can't stop the tears coming. I just feel so unwanted. My daughter lives abroad so I eagerly checked my email but there was nothing from her. My husband left for work that morning and that was that and my son although he was home, said nothing to me. I stupidly waited all day until my husband came home thinking they would maybe order a meal in for us but no nothing. I was so angry at first, then that changed to tears. I'm on crutches at the moment because of a knee injury so it's not like I could even go out just to get away. I always make sure Christmas and birthdays are celebrated and they never wake up on the morning of their birthdays without cards and gifts and we always go out for a meal. I knew going out was a no go for me this year but I feel like they simply see me as the hired help and not worth bothering with. I'm sorry if I'm rambling and I know it's only a birthday but the lack of any love and affection is really hurting me.

Did they even say happy birthday?

Happy Birthday Radley,

The night is still young to make your plans to treat yourself really well in the coming days - a nice lunch out for you, a special gift for yourself, meet up with special friends, a movie, top to toe spa day & splash some cash frivolously (maybe place a bet?).

Because you are worth it.

Op why on earth didn't you say something to them?? If I got up on my birthday and everyone just totally ignored it I'd say something straight away!! It's shitty behaviour from them. And I'd certainly remember to do fuck all for their next birthdays.

Just signed in to come and on here and wish you a very, very happy birthday Radley ! 🥂💐 I hereby appoint you queen of the evening to do with it as you will, so get thinking what you would like.

If I were you I'd be reading the riot act to that husband and son of yours and sending them out to pick up a takeaway, bottle of Champagne and some ice, whatever you fancy. Sometimes we need to be the mouse that roared, you know? Then I'd make them run you a bath, light some candles, or hand you the remote control and put on one of your favourite films or something. Whatever YOU fancy. And I'd be making them all feel very ashamed indeed, as well as your daughter, for the next week or so. Sounds like she knew they might not do the right thing, but then she should have as well!

As another poster said, you are also due a VERY nice present indeed, so get thinking what you'd like. Personally I think a new car or a piece if expensive jewellery is an excellent idea. Assert yourself my dear, you deserve much better!

Forgetting would be a bit shit. Knowing, and still doing nothing is just absolutely outrageous, and I'm gobsmacked for you.

Happy birthday. If they won't spoil you, spoil yourself - if the money is there, think of something you really love and would like to have or do, and book it or buy it. Doesn't have to be right away - maybe a weekend away when your knee is better somewhere you've always wanted to go, either just you, or with a friend? It's a big landmark day, and love to you and many happy returns.

Radley60, you need to shame these people. Can you take yourself off for a little mini break somewhere.

Ugh, I'd be hopping mad.

I'm not one for birthdays, but a birthday with a zero on the end - even I make a big deal of them! I'm so sorry OP - birthday ((hugs)) to you!

DO NOT LET THIS BE SWEPT UNDER THE CARPET.

Next mealtime (tonight?) when you are all in the same room, ask them a question - "I've just turned 60, why did you ignore that? Neither of you so much as said happy birthday to me." And the just sit silently, and wait. They owe you an apology, and they deserve to be made to feel bad about this.

" I always make sure Christmas and birthdays are celebrated and they never wake up on the morning of their birthdays without cards and gifts"

Right - that stops NOW. NOW.

@Radley

That's terrible. I thought you meant you didn't have any family, not that your family ignored it. Remember this at Christmas.

Have they acknowledged every other birthday?.

PM your address and we'll all send you belated birthday cards. Happy Birthday From Us.

No they didn't forget they day they simply didn't acknowledge it.

So are you saying they knew it was your birthday but they deliberately chose not to acknowledge it and buy cards etc?

Because THAT is appalling

If THAT is what they did, I'd be inclined to walk away for a while, if not physically, then emotionally.

Bow out for a time , draw up the bridge and start to live your life for you

Birthday hug ((( ))) and to you OP.

Oh OP that's awful

Happy Birthday.

And do something really nice for yourself when you're feeling up to it.

Buy yourself a huge bunch of flowers tomorrow and when asked about them, say they are your present to yourself seeing as no one else bothered.

Happy birthday! I too am shocked that no one in your household even got you a card/flowers/ fizz etc. In your position I would consider 'going on strike' for a week or so - so no cooking or tidying or cleaning or ironing or washing etc for the ungrateful males of your household. Hopefully that would help them to grasp that they should appreciate you!

Happy Birthday!!!

They really are a shower of shits.

My advice is to make the most of the rest of your day.

Order yourself a takeaway and a nice bottle of wine on delivery. Don't ask if anyone else wants any.

Set the table nicely and close the door and have your own party.

Browse the web on your phone and buy yourself a present - don't be a skinflint, buy something you really want and drat the expense.

Then go to the bathroom and have a calming bath - it's also a good time to unearth that face mask you've been saving or any lovely bubble bath etc. Take a glass of wine with you (actually take the bottle so no one else can have any).

Deep breaths and relax.

Then tomorrow read everyone the riot act. They've behaved appallingly so call them on it and stop doing anything for any of them until they mend their ways.

Happy 60th xx
It's shocking that nobody did anything! Tell them how upset you are & I hope they all feel very guilty & go out of their way to make it up to you. I would imagine you've sorted out countless birthday celebrations in the past for others so to be forgotten yourself is beyond hurtful.

Happy birthday!
I would be having if out with your DH. I've had to do this in the past.

Op why on earth didn't you say something to them?? If I got up on my birthday and everyone just totally ignored it I'd say something straight away!! It's shitty behaviour from them. And I'd certainly remember to do fuck all for their next birthdays.

To be honest this is what I would have done. What’s the point in silent tears.

I would be doing fuck all for their birthdays in future. It just shows such a lack of appreciation, thought and care.

Happy birthday! with best wishes for a great year ahead, when you're better, from a total stranger (who is completely bemused that your closest family could be so insensitive and thoughtless). Another one who thinks that a truckload of treats should be summoned at their expense.

OP, please would you take half the money you would have spent on birthdays for the three of them this year and take yourself away for a short break with breakfast in bed and room service. Don't tell them you are going. Then tell them why.

Happy Birthday @Radley60
I’d be walking out and booking in to your favourite restaurant, take a good book and use your “d”H’s card! What a fanny.
Oh and order yourself some cake and flowers too. 🍾🎂🍷🍰

Happy birthday, Radley.

When you feel up to it, calmly let them know how hurt you are by this. You have every right to feel your special day should be marked. On the plus side, you have lots of birthday wishes from around the world on MN.

If I were you, I’d also be considering dialing back how much of a fuss I make of their next birthdays, but you are probably a nicer soul than me.

Wow, they are very rude and inconsiderate- are they normally ?

Happy happy birthday from all of us on Mumsnet

Terrible behaviour, I would tell them all individually how sad you are.

Then go on line, glass of wine in hand and choose something really special to mark your special day. A spa day, or a city break something, a beautiful handbag that will be for you used with the joint account naturally, and feel free to be very generous with yourself.

I'm really upset for you, because I know the things you do for them are done from love and care and it's unfair that they don't appreciate you.

I once heard about a lady who died. For many years she had served behind the counter of her family's corner shop. She had also looked after her family and her husband, a successful business man. She died, and there was an outpouring of support from customers who valued her; her grown up children suddenly realised how much they had taken for granted, and her dh suddenly realised he was nothing without all she contributed. My friend was hot with anger about how overlooked her friend had been all her life, mostly I think because she related to it as a woman in her community. I feel it myself a little.

I bet you are the person who makes sure their birthdays are celebrated by everyone. So don't this year. Let them all go by unacknowledged. When they challenge you on it, which they will, tell them why.

Happy Birthday day from Spain! Sending you love and good thoughts xxxx make a fuss about it! 60 is important ❤️❤️❤️