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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No one acknowledged my 60th birthday

530 replies

Radley60 · 24/02/2019 17:04

I'm new to this so I hope I'm posting in the right place but I just needed someone to vent to I guess. I just had my 60th birthday. I was looking forward to having a nice day but my family never even acknowledged me. No happy birthday, no gifts, no meal nothing, zilch, zero. I know most people would just say "you're 60 get over it" but I can't stop the tears coming. I just feel so unwanted. My daughter lives abroad so I eagerly checked my email but there was nothing from her. My husband left for work that morning and that was that and my son although he was home, said nothing to me. I stupidly waited all day until my husband came home thinking they would maybe order a meal in for us but no nothing. I was so angry at first, then that changed to tears. I'm on crutches at the moment because of a knee injury so it's not like I could even go out just to get away. I always make sure Christmas and birthdays are celebrated and they never wake up on the morning of their birthdays without cards and gifts and we always go out for a meal. I knew going out was a no go for me this year but I feel like they simply see me as the hired help and not worth bothering with. I'm sorry if I'm rambling and I know it's only a birthday but the lack of any love and affection is really hurting me.

OP posts:
Ninkaninus · 24/02/2019 18:12

I’m not saying it as some kind of tit for tat exercise.

However, people who do inconsiderate things like this often do them because they do not think about how things feel to other people. If they’re that selfish or self-centred or unempathetic enough to just not bother or to forget entirely, then sometimes they need to experience things for themselves in order to fully appreciate the fact that they have a lovely time and a fuss made for them on their birthdays because someone (in this case the OP) gives enough of a shit to make sure it happens!

woollyheart · 24/02/2019 18:13

Happy Birthday ThanksThanksThanks

Did you tell them that you didn't want anything? Or not to do anything special?

People sometimes take you at face value....

eddielizzard · 24/02/2019 18:13

Well that's supremely shit. I would be going on strike.

Flowers and I hope you can meet with a good friend. No one should be treated like this. It's lazy, selfish and mean.

MaggieAndHopey · 24/02/2019 18:13

Have you spoken to any of your family about this? What's your relationship usually like with your husband and children?

ItmustbeGlove · 24/02/2019 18:13

Awful and thoughtless of them.
60 is a special one.
Plan an extravagant belated birthday treat for yourself.
Happy Birthday Thanks

RelaisBlu · 24/02/2019 18:14

OP I am going to be 60 later this year and have 2 DDs who live overseas - I would be very hurt by this too. I don't want a big party or anything but I would like to do something special with my DH and have it acknowledged by the DDs even though they can't be here

WaterlooElephant · 24/02/2019 18:15

My step-mum in law's family are like that. It really boils my piss. So we make up for their thoughtlessness.

Happy Birthday Radley!!! WineCakeFlowers When you can, treat yourself in a big way. You deserve it. Oh, and go on strike. We'll join you on the picket outside your house!!!

fluffygreenmonsterhoody · 24/02/2019 18:16

Ah sorry OP, that’s rotten. You do need to tell them, I think, for your own sanity.

Sending birthday wishes from Scotland 🍰

RedBerryTea · 24/02/2019 18:16

Happy Birthday Radley! Flowers Cake Wine. It does seem that the more you do for your family the less they appreciate you. I know some pretty poor parents and their adult DC try so hard to win their approval. I don't blame you for being upset, but take strength from us here sending you love and strength.

Bluetrews25 · 24/02/2019 18:17

Happy Birthday, dear Radley, happy birthday to you.
That is so sad. I know very well how it feels to be ignored / forgotten. For this reason I will not tell any new friends when my birthday is, as it's less of a let-down if they don't know in the first place. I wish I knew the solution to the hurt.
Flowers Cake

Xeroxarama · 24/02/2019 18:18

Happy birthday! I’m sure you deserve to be celebrated. Who doesn’t? Treat yourself, please.

Skyejuly · 24/02/2019 18:19

Happy Birthday!

CouldntThink · 24/02/2019 18:19

Happy birthday! FlowersCake

Did you say something OP? Please tell me you did. Their behaviour is shitty and needs calling out.

ittakes2 · 24/02/2019 18:20

How awful - 60 is a huge milestone - I flew 24 hrs with my 6 month old twins to celebrate my dad's 60th! Happy Birthday!!! You should tell them you are now expecting a 60th birthday month - you get to celebrate everyday for a month. Poor you - I hope they treat you better.

ThomasRichard · 24/02/2019 18:21

YANBU that’s horrible. A 60th is a huge deal! Is it today?

BlimeyCalmDown · 24/02/2019 18:21

Happy Birthday Flowers Wine Cake !

Tell them now and order yourself a takeaway and wine! xxx

RelaisBlu · 24/02/2019 18:21

No they didn't forget the day they simply didn't acknowledge it

This is somehow worse - they remembered but saw no reason to celebrate with you. I imagine you could do with a bit of cheer as you are injured

SecretLimonadeDrinker · 24/02/2019 18:23

Happy birthday @Radley60! Please do something to mark your special day when you are able, preferably without your feckless family. Personally I would need to call them on it.

NWQM · 24/02/2019 18:24

I’d be playing Steve Wonders ‘Happy Birthday’ really loud until someone said something.

justthecat · 24/02/2019 18:24

That is horrible.Get yourself online and buy yourself something fabulous and a very happy birthday 💐🍾💐🥂

zen1 · 24/02/2019 18:27

How awful for you, Radley.

🍾🎉🎁HAPPY 60th BIRTHDA*Y🎈🍰🍸

Treat yourself - you are worth it!

lindsaydoll82 · 24/02/2019 18:29

Happy Birthday!

How horrible of them not acknowledging it. Do they usually give a card/gift or are your birthdays never celebrated?

How strange if it's only this one they've ignored Sad

Esspee · 24/02/2019 18:29

Many happy returns of your birthday OP. FlowersCake

HaveNoSocks · 24/02/2019 18:29

I would definitely be taking money out of the family kitty for a massive treat for myself. I'd be tempted to book a weekend away just for me when I'm off crutches. Leave them to sort themselves out for the weekend.

Aeroflotgirl · 24/02/2019 18:30

Oh no, happy 60th birthday to you, I hope that your useless family manage to turn it around. I would tell your husband and daughters how you feel. Book a nice restaurant with your husband for a night out. Don't cry in silence, tell them what you want SmileFlowers.

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