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Original poster

No one acknowledged my 60th birthday

530 replies

Radley60 · 24/02/2019 17:04

I'm new to this so I hope I'm posting in the right place but I just needed someone to vent to I guess. I just had my 60th birthday. I was looking forward to having a nice day but my family never even acknowledged me. No happy birthday, no gifts, no meal nothing, zilch, zero. I know most people would just say "you're 60 get over it" but I can't stop the tears coming. I just feel so unwanted. My daughter lives abroad so I eagerly checked my email but there was nothing from her. My husband left for work that morning and that was that and my son although he was home, said nothing to me. I stupidly waited all day until my husband came home thinking they would maybe order a meal in for us but no nothing. I was so angry at first, then that changed to tears. I'm on crutches at the moment because of a knee injury so it's not like I could even go out just to get away. I always make sure Christmas and birthdays are celebrated and they never wake up on the morning of their birthdays without cards and gifts and we always go out for a meal. I knew going out was a no go for me this year but I feel like they simply see me as the hired help and not worth bothering with. I'm sorry if I'm rambling and I know it's only a birthday but the lack of any love and affection is really hurting me.

OP posts:
woollyheart · 25/02/2019 18:17

Even if something lovely is planned and this is all a joke about forgetting your birthday, it's not kind.

KimonoDragon · 25/02/2019 18:19

Oh that's so sad! I've lost a parent too and milestone birthdays are so painful afterwards! 😔 People don't appreciate what they have until it's gone... 🎈

vintanner · 25/02/2019 18:19

Happy 60th Birthday

I am very angry with your family, you deserve better.

Why don't you make an announcement that as you've now had your 60th you are retiring from making everyone else's special days 'special' and say that you got the idea from them as none of them seem to be in the spirit of celebrating.

And mean it.

Liketoshop · 25/02/2019 18:19

Mmmm, maybe they've planned a surprise? I tend to sort out my own birthdays whether going on a holiday or staying at home as I've been single for some years and my grown up sons still live at home. Even they ensure I have presents etc. I'm also sixty this year and dreading it....🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🍹🍹🎂
But my sons and I usually go out for a meal for birthdays and I don't like parties unless it's a surprise! All I'll say is take you and a trusted friend out for the day and leave them all to stew in a no dinner no nothing for some time! Don't be your family's doormat!

abbey44 · 25/02/2019 18:22

Happy belated 60th birthday Radley60. I was so hoping that you'd come back and update us that you'd been treated to a surprise celebration. I hope you can do something fabulous for yourself once you're off the crutches. I don't think birthdays are all that any more, but for a milestone one, no, that's different, and I can understand how much it hurts to not have it acknowledged Wine Flowers

ravenmum · 25/02/2019 18:26

Are they always like this?

One year I'd arranged a party for myself to celebrate another big milestone in my life. The only party I ever arranged for me in 20 years of marriage. Asked the neighbours round, everyone came over. At some point in the evening we raised our glasses and everyone toasted my exh and the neighbour on their birthday on July 4 and 31. This was September. No-one mentioned my milestone. No-one even mentioned my birthday in the middle of July. My delightful exh had gone round telling everyone we were celebrating their birthdays.

Since the divorce I've had a couple of nice birthdays which I arranged mysef, asking people I liked over. This year I'm 50 and will be arranging a bit of a do. I've learned my lesson and will be making it very clear that this is a party to celebrate my birthday.

I'm afraid that if you want people to make a fuss of you, sometimes you just have to tell them to do it. You can't just treat them nicely and then wait for them to do the same.

December2018 · 25/02/2019 18:28

@Radley60 happy birthday 🎁 🍰 🍷
I hope your family are well impressed with their selfishness and how it's made you feel!

I wouldn't be doing anymore house work, cooking/cleaning for anyone!

You go out and enjoy yourself!.... and only yourself!

I just hope they have something planned for you... surely people can't be this tight

CircleofWillis · 25/02/2019 18:29

Happy Birthday, OP. I was hoping for a happy update too where the whole of your family and friends have come together to surprise you. I am still hoping that that is the case and you are too busy to update us. If not, please make sure you let them all know how much they have hurt you and suggest various ways they can make it up to you. Flowers

jillybeanclevertips · 25/02/2019 18:29

Belated happy birthday to you. Yes your 60th is a landmark day, and you are justifiably upset at being ignored. I'm sure your family don't realize, as they undoubtedly appreciate all the remembering you do.
Bake yourself a cake, buy yourself a little something, that you can wear and make a point of telling them it was your birthday present. Guilt them into an apology and then let it go. Holding onto your disappointment won't help anyone, you know this. I'd be going around the house singing Happy Birthday to me, etc.

Tavimama · 25/02/2019 18:31

SO sorry that you had such a crappy birthday - sending you the biggest virtual hug, 💐🍾🎂🎉🎈.

I am with others who have posted here - make sure you do something just for YOU - whether you take yourself out for a fancy tea with a girlfriend, or have a facial and a mani/pedi and your hair done. Anything which takes you away from your normal routine and away from anyone wanting to take you for granted.

Take care lovely CakeFlowersWine

Buzzard1973 · 25/02/2019 18:31

Maybe it is all part of a bigger plan/surprise for you.making you think they forgot. There should still have been some acknowledgement on the day though.

Pk37 · 25/02/2019 18:33

Sorry , didnt read the whole thread but I do really think they just forgot and you should bring it up.
No one is that nasty that they could just choose to ignore it ,surely?
Go and spoil yourself Cake

Marianb · 25/02/2019 18:34

Happy 60th!! Book yourself a day out at a spa (somewhere nice) or buy something extravagant and make a big deal of it so that when they wonder why you can say its your 60th gift to yourself!!! Although part of me hopes they have a surprise planned! X

Sally2791 · 25/02/2019 18:38

Happy belated birthday. That is mean of your family. Definitely treat yourself to some time away

wingsanddreams · 25/02/2019 18:42

Happy birthday dear! I have a feeling your family take you for granted. You need to love yourself more, buy and cook for yourself more, demand things for yourself more. Sometimes women need to remember to look ourselves before looking other people. xx

Nanalisa60 · 25/02/2019 18:42

I’m so sorry to hear that your family have treated you so mean on your special day!! You really do deserve better then this!! It’s Just not on!! You must just feel so let down I’m angry for you!! Just shocking behaviour!!

wingsanddreams · 25/02/2019 18:43

looking after

Birdie6 · 25/02/2019 18:44

This is why I n ever wait for people to remember my birthday. I t happened on my 40th and I felt so down, just like you do now. Ever since then , I've organised my own day and mentioned it to my family in advance , ie " since it's my birthday next Tuesday I'd like everyone to come over for lunch on the previous Sunday, OK ?" I'd highly recommend it - you get the day you want and nobody forgets.

Meantime I'm sending hugs to you - send yourself some flowers and go get a manicure or a hairdo . Tell DH that he forgot, and that you'd like to go somewhere nice for lunch next weekend. After that, put it behind you and remember to look after your own birthdays in future.

YouDancin · 25/02/2019 18:46

@Radley60 did they surprise you last night? (i really hope so)

If no, did you ask them why they'd not bothered?

manicmij · 25/02/2019 18:53

Not being big on birthdays for myself I would say don't be upset but, if you normally have at least a birthday card I can understand why you feel forgotten. Treat yourself to something when you are able to and let all know about it.

MakeItAmazing · 25/02/2019 18:57

macblank ShockHmm.

kerrynov7 · 25/02/2019 18:58

OP, how awful and how hurt you must be feeling. Is there a chance that there could be a lovely surprise in the pipeline? Are your family the sort to spring a surprise on you? It seems incredibly odd that there has been no acknowledgement at all from anyone. Hugs xxx

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/02/2019 19:06

I agree with PPs that I would not be doing a single thing for anyone birthday now (except for young kids, who obviously are not to blame).

When it is questioned, as it will, simply say "Well as no one sent me so much as a text for my 60th please explain to me why you think I should get you anything for yours."

MummysBusy · 25/02/2019 19:10

Has the OP posted at all since the original post?

sophe · 25/02/2019 19:10

I am sure you must be wondering why you have bothered all these years. Look at this way. You could have avoided this awful truth by reminding them in advance, neon lights. But you chose the hard path.... because you wanted to know. Now you do. Now what? Do you stay or do you go?

Divorce is a big upheaval and a hard financial knock. but you get yourself back and you cannot put a price on that. Was the rest of your life a waste of your precious time and life force? Not if it brought you to this place and you make the right decision at last. If you do you will look back on this trivial thoughtlessness of others who do not owe you a life anymore than your ever owed them one- not post their childhoods- as a blessing.