No one acknowledged my 60th birthday

[Radley60]

I'm new to this so I hope I'm posting in the right place but I just needed someone to vent to I guess. I just had my 60th birthday. I was looking forward to having a nice day but my family never even acknowledged me. No happy birthday, no gifts, no meal nothing, zilch, zero. I know most people would just say "you're 60 get over it" but I can't stop the tears coming. I just feel so unwanted. My daughter lives abroad so I eagerly checked my email but there was nothing from her. My husband left for work that morning and that was that and my son although he was home, said nothing to me. I stupidly waited all day until my husband came home thinking they would maybe order a meal in for us but no nothing. I was so angry at first, then that changed to tears. I'm on crutches at the moment because of a knee injury so it's not like I could even go out just to get away. I always make sure Christmas and birthdays are celebrated and they never wake up on the morning of their birthdays without cards and gifts and we always go out for a meal. I knew going out was a no go for me this year but I feel like they simply see me as the hired help and not worth bothering with. I'm sorry if I'm rambling and I know it's only a birthday but the lack of any love and affection is really hurting me.

Late Happy Birthday!

Time to stop being the hired help, I feel. If your husband and son can't be bothered to acknowledge your birthday, you can't be bothered to cook or wash for them, can you?

This is just awful, I'm so sorry. Belated happy birthday from me.

Hi there if you are still reading this just wanted to say I have a lovely hubbie and boys in the family that have to be reminded regarding dates or they too forget - dear hubbie told me about this when we first got together. So what i do is remind them all and give them a clue or of what i would like to do. Apart from that I have a really nice family. p.s. I often treat myself too for special occasions so I get something that I really want.

Happy belated birthday to you!! You’re so right to feel upset, call them out on it! You deserve to be spoilt rotten! Hope they make up for it somehow! 🍰🎁🎂🎈 💐

Me too Ruperbear

I've arranged my own 60th celebration (we're going away), and DH and the DC were invited some weeks ago! Better safe than sorry.

That is horrible, I would be heartbroken by this and let everyone know how hurt I was.
It would be difficult for me to get over tbh.
Could you leave/ not acknowledge their birthdays?
Are you always putting them first and not yourself? Maybe time to rediscover you and be out a lot doing your own thing hopefully accumulating lots of lovely friends who appreciate and love you in the process?
Happy Birthday from me :)

Happy big 6-0, I am so sorry your family let you down. I would have cried too, do something lovely for yourself like a spa weekend, you deserve it, 60 is a big birthday xx

Well obviously you wont be acknowledging their birthdays from now on. I don't think I would be able to get past their horrible attitude...I would find it very difficult to love people who cared so little about me.

I think you need to sit and have a very serious conversation with your husband and son. I would write to your daughter and tell her that you are very, very upset.
Personally, I don't think I would be able to forgive them and I would start to look at my options for living a happier life.

Oh Radley60!!

Happy 60th Birthday 💐

This makes me so upset, my mum died when she was 58, I was 28, our birthdays are 3 days apart, we were due to turn 60 & 30 together but unfortunately it wasn’t to be. I would give anything to be able to spoil my mum, hug her, make a fuss of her etc.
I hope they all buck their ideas up

I always make of fuss of every relative, on both mine and DHs side, on their birthdays... and all other special occasions

But they either put very little thought & effort in or just forget mine.

At xmas, out of 100s of photos I was only in 3, and they're only the edge of face/arm etc where you can tell I wasn't even meant to be in them. Everyone was sharing loads of gifts between each other. I only got one, and that was a freebie my relative got from the place where she works. And it was roughly wrapped, obviously a rushed panic gift wrapped that morning. I'd gone to town as usual on my gifts for every single person, including much effort and time spent on beautiful wrapping.

Not any more

As of this year I am no longer making a fuss of everyone. I know there'll be some snarky snippy comments made behind my back, but fuck em. It's hurtful being treated like the one that doesn't matter.

Do the same OP, stop putting in so much effort on their special days. Turn that expense and effort on to yourself!!!

HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY

Happy 60th birthday. So sorry to hear your family forgot. I would be very hurt too. My husband and sons are not good at remembering birthdays unless someone tells them. I know how you feel. I’m 65 and I’m fed up trying to remind them. Book yourself a nice spa day and give the receipt to your husband with a subtle reminder you had your birthday. I hope he feels guilty. Families are sh—- sometimes.

A big happy belated 60th birthday from me Radley

How strange that OP only made one comment in over 350 posts. I reckon that surprise party must have happened !

I'd ask them why. Why did they forget? Why didn't they acknowledge? Why no birthday wishes?

This may make things worse and I apologise, but I'd also be Concerned about underlying issues. Is there a rift? Falling out? If not, something else is broken. This is not normal family behaviour for any birthday

Happy birthday, do you have enough spare money to just go off for the day and maybe treat yourself to some expensive perfume and a spa therapy day, shopping or even a weekend away with a cheap last min deal just for yourself or what ever makes you happy?
Not trying to rain on your parade but I can totally empathise as also reguarly get nothing for Xmas or birthdays from anyone, I often feel very hurt as both my sister's act like kids and want spoiling on their birthdays, xmas' (or all year round with my bottomless purse ) but don't even bother to send cards for mine, one sibling doesn't even bother with my son... anyway as I am single so no partner to pick up the slack, my wonderful six year old son treats me to a bottle of Chanel for Xmas and birthdays and sometimes he is generous enough to throw in the body lotion etc I have yet to get a weekend away from him though......

Happy Birthday!!

Make sure you forget their next birthday. I know two wrongs don’t make a right, but it might make them think a bit more in the future.
Happy 60th birthday 🎂

Happiest of birthdays to you. Much love and happiness xxxx

Well, that does sounds pretty mean-minded to me- perhaps you should point out to your family just how upset you are, and organise a really enjoyable day (or even a week-end?) to celebrate? Invite everyone- show them how it's done!
And be glad if you're 60, and fit and well enough to be enjoying yourself.
I spent my 60th in bed, undergoing chemo. Fighting fit now, but it really sucked at the time.

Wishing you a very happy birthday . I would feel the same in your place
In January was my mum's 60th birthday and it's been many months since I've been planning a surprise for her. So exactly on her birthday me and all my family flew back home and appeared at her door with 60 roses. She was shocked and so happy as she never thought we will go there especially when it's the coldest in my country.

Maybe some one should start a thread about not being updated.

Never mind.

18/21/30/40 nothing. No gifts, cards, party, nothing at all. Oh, and all the birthdays in between nothing either. Until my 47th birthday, no one gave a shit, but on my 47th my fiancée have me a card and some wonderful gifts.

My own father forgot almost all my birthdays as a kid... FYI, his is the same bloody day as mine!

I remember a party for my tenth birthday, and fourteenth, apart from that I don't remember anything really happening for any.... Oh the joys of being raised in care!

On my 16th birthday, I was removed from my foster parents and shoved in a squalid bedsit, and abandoned by social services... Nothing like it is these days.

So, dry your eyes ya whinger, and be glad all the other birthdays were remembered, some of us didn't have shit.

Happy belated 60th .

I hope they did something in the end. It’s my birthday next week and I’m anticipating the usual apathy from family. Sucks not to be made a little fuss of (ever in my case).

Make sure you let them know how hurt you are, don’t just quietly seeth. And withdraw your labour that you do for their birthdays. I used to think it was petty but then I realised that a dose of your own medicine is sometimes exactly what people need to understand their own hurtful actions.

@Radley60 sending you all my best wishes on your birthday. So sorry it's been shit for you. You deserve to be spoilt.

I read through the thread hoping for an update. You're understandably upset and rightly so. Please don't hide your hurt and upset, please tell each of the selfish, thoughtless bastards exactly how they've made you feel

Do you think they're planning a surprise on the weekend? 🤔 I wonder if your daughter is heading back to see you? If not, it's really appalling and you definitely need to say something. I think maybe arrange something yourself and announce that because you haven't celebrated your milestone birthday that you want them all to join you at a restaurant of your choice! Happy birthday to you! ♥ 🎂 🎈 🍾 X