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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No one acknowledged my 60th birthday

530 replies

Radley60 · 24/02/2019 17:04

I'm new to this so I hope I'm posting in the right place but I just needed someone to vent to I guess. I just had my 60th birthday. I was looking forward to having a nice day but my family never even acknowledged me. No happy birthday, no gifts, no meal nothing, zilch, zero. I know most people would just say "you're 60 get over it" but I can't stop the tears coming. I just feel so unwanted. My daughter lives abroad so I eagerly checked my email but there was nothing from her. My husband left for work that morning and that was that and my son although he was home, said nothing to me. I stupidly waited all day until my husband came home thinking they would maybe order a meal in for us but no nothing. I was so angry at first, then that changed to tears. I'm on crutches at the moment because of a knee injury so it's not like I could even go out just to get away. I always make sure Christmas and birthdays are celebrated and they never wake up on the morning of their birthdays without cards and gifts and we always go out for a meal. I knew going out was a no go for me this year but I feel like they simply see me as the hired help and not worth bothering with. I'm sorry if I'm rambling and I know it's only a birthday but the lack of any love and affection is really hurting me.

OP posts:
hummanahummana · 24/02/2019 23:56

Buy a big birthday cake and eat the whole thing!

crabb · 25/02/2019 00:01

Happy birthday Radley! I’m 60 too - it was a big deal for me to turn 60 as my Mum had died when she was 59 (she was alcoholic), and that age had hung over my head all through my 50s like a sword of doom. I can’t believe you family didn’t acknowledge this. You need to celebrate YOU - you deserve it. I hope you find something special to do with people who care. Blessings to you Flowers

FiveShelties · 25/02/2019 00:03

Happy Birthday - I am so sorry your family have not done anything to help you celebrate. I would be very hurt and I would be making sure that they knew how hurtful their behaviour is.

oldowlgirl · 25/02/2019 00:04

Happy Birthday Op - be kind to yourself.

It sounds horrible if they really did remember & yet totally ignored it & didn't even wish you well! You need to say something to them - they need to know it's out of order & you deserve better.

Overstory · 25/02/2019 00:06

Happy birthday OP! I haven't RTFT but they should have celebrated your birthday, you're worth it and they were wrong to act on it. Don't let anybody tell you you shouldn't be hurt or angry because you are entitled to be. These things matter.

nettie434 · 25/02/2019 00:17

It’s only just gone midnight so I hope I’m not too late to wash you happy birthday too, Radley Flowers Cake

LittlePaintBox · 25/02/2019 00:21

Happy Belated Birthday, Radley Flowers Wine Cake Gin

Yes, your family are really thoughtless not to have mentioned it, but there's no reason you can't organise a late celebration for when you're off crutches - maybe a trip to somewhere you'd love to go? In fact, you should INSIST on a celebration of some kind! You need it!

HeronLanyon · 25/02/2019 00:25

Belated happy birthday op. I have a sibling with a big bday
Coming up and I have just put it massively on my calendar just in case !!

NotaSpringChicken · 25/02/2019 00:31

Happy Birthday to you!!

I will be 60 in June this year. I don't expect a fuss by any means, but a card from DH and others from the kids would be a nice gesture.

FrancisCrawford · 25/02/2019 00:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pieceofpurplesky · 25/02/2019 00:33

Just hoping for a surprise party update too'

MiniCooperLover · 25/02/2019 07:35

I'm sorry OP because it shows how selfish they all are and that's hard to realise. Happy belated Birthday to you. I hope you can sort something out so you can take yourself off and treat yourself nicely.

ionlylovemybedandmymama · 25/02/2019 07:49

Happy birthday Thanks

I'd go to a hotel and leave them to it. And never do anything for their birthday's again the fuckers

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 25/02/2019 07:54

That’s awful OP. Happy birthday to you!

At least you know now not to bother with their birthdays-just don’t acknowledge theirs at all-am sure they will soon say “hey-it’s my birthday!” “Oh, happy birthday love” and that’s it. And if they start with why haven’t I a card and gift-“I didn’t think we were doing birthdays any more as you didn’t for me...?”

HeronLanyon · 25/02/2019 08:17

Once I had calmed down I think I’d sit them all down and say how upset you are. Nothing worse than festering anger/resentment and they need to/should know they have all been crap.
Hb again Flowers

BingLiveisRubbish · 25/02/2019 08:54

@Radley60 Any update? X

outofnothing · 25/02/2019 09:59

I think there must be more of a back story here, but I hope by now your family have redeemed themselves and you've at least had recognition of your birthday and plans to celebrate. If not I would be heading to the shops then away to a fab hotel for a few days and probably wouldn't tell them where.

NoIsACompleteAnswerSometimes · 25/02/2019 13:05

It was my birthday recently, not a milestone one though. My dad didn't send a card or ring, very unusual. There's a lot of grandchildren who have birthdays around then, nothing for them either. I rang to ask if he'd stopped doing birthday presents ( for the grandchildren) or cards, as the grandchildren in particular were a bit upset. I reminded him it had been my birthday a week earlier, response was "was it? Oh well " If he'd said sorry, I've forgotten, hadn't written it down etc I would have been happy. But the "was it? Oh well " and no acknowledgment really hurt.

lily2403 · 25/02/2019 17:31

I would be upset for a regular birthday never mind and 60th

Happy birthday op Flowers

Thehappygardener · 25/02/2019 17:31

Happy, happy birthday! FWIW - I always remind everyone in advance, by saying let’s do something nice for my birthday!

No one acknowledged my 60th birthday
Attitude84 · 25/02/2019 17:32

That is a disgraceful way to treat someone. I’m so sorry they didn’t bother about your special birthday. Look on the website of your favourite jewellery or flowers or clothes and get yourself a big treat.

Failing that, pm me your address and I’ll send you something nice myself.

Happy 60th birthday!!! ❤️🎉

Jojofjo44 · 25/02/2019 17:32

Go on strike from any household chores that you do.a

Steal the tv remote and refuse to put on anything that you don't want on.

Order a crate of wine, when it comes, have a lovely few days watching complete rubbish and ignoring your selfish family until the penny drops.

Littlenic73 · 25/02/2019 17:32

Happy birthday, sometimes family can be really insensitive, I got called on one birthday to babysit for my nephew while my bro and his wife went out. They totally forgot, DH had an exam the next day and nobody else was interested. I don't usually bother much with my birthday but it's still disappointing.

user1496701154 · 25/02/2019 17:33

So sorry about that I think it's rude. A happy belated birthday from me.

AlexaAmbidextra · 25/02/2019 17:33

Well them not bothering to acknowledge it is worse than forgetting. What a selfish bunch of twats. I trust you’ll be responding in kind and not bothering to acknowledge any of their birthdays?

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