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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No one acknowledged my 60th birthday

530 replies

Radley60 · 24/02/2019 17:04

I'm new to this so I hope I'm posting in the right place but I just needed someone to vent to I guess. I just had my 60th birthday. I was looking forward to having a nice day but my family never even acknowledged me. No happy birthday, no gifts, no meal nothing, zilch, zero. I know most people would just say "you're 60 get over it" but I can't stop the tears coming. I just feel so unwanted. My daughter lives abroad so I eagerly checked my email but there was nothing from her. My husband left for work that morning and that was that and my son although he was home, said nothing to me. I stupidly waited all day until my husband came home thinking they would maybe order a meal in for us but no nothing. I was so angry at first, then that changed to tears. I'm on crutches at the moment because of a knee injury so it's not like I could even go out just to get away. I always make sure Christmas and birthdays are celebrated and they never wake up on the morning of their birthdays without cards and gifts and we always go out for a meal. I knew going out was a no go for me this year but I feel like they simply see me as the hired help and not worth bothering with. I'm sorry if I'm rambling and I know it's only a birthday but the lack of any love and affection is really hurting me.

OP posts:
Mummy20192 · 24/02/2019 23:00

I had to comment after reading this!!!! Happy happy happy birthday!!! You are an amazing mum and wife... I felt like that in a few of my birthdays... so now every year I don’t wait for my husband svd daughter’s to make me feel special.. just like I get them presents abd parties.. I buy myself present.. and treat myself to day out.. if they want to go out for dinner we do otherwise I order take away and eat that.. I’m not gong to wait for others to make me feel better, I do it myself... anything my Dh or dd does is bonus... it’s sad.. but once you start, you will love it... this year was my 3rd I celebrate my own life!!

Make your 61st year all about you!! And yes do book yourself a holiday and go!!

TheSassyAssassin · 24/02/2019 23:03

Happy Birthday @Radley60! Hope the start of your next decade brings about some happy changes for you. Wishing you lots of good times! 🍾🍰🎁🎈🎉

NothingOnTellyAgain · 24/02/2019 23:04

Wtf they remembered

But decided not to say anything, say happy birthday, even?
But that's free and easy. To ignore it on purpose is malicious,

Why did they do that? Have they told you why, despite remembering, they decided to ignore it?

I'm not suprised you're gutted.

Do they like you even that the behaviour of playground bullies

ohfourfoxache · 24/02/2019 23:10

Happy birthday Radley Thanks

puppy23 · 24/02/2019 23:12

Can we all club together and throw a massive party with loads of presents and cake?

AbbieLexie · 24/02/2019 23:15

Happy birthday - a milestone reached. Flowers

SnapesGreasyHair · 24/02/2019 23:18

So what are you going to do Radley? Are you going to speak to them, say nothing and continue doing stuff for their birthdays, or take this as an indication to stop doing birthday things for them?

BiscuitsWithEverythingPlease · 24/02/2019 23:19

Am I the only one hoping that there has been a fabulous surprise party this evening and they were all just playing with OP all along? I'm hoping her daughter was over to visit, that there were friends and family gathered together, with cake and gifts and champagne and that in the end, she had a lovely, lovely night? Wishing you a very Happy 60th Birthday x

Hodgehegg · 24/02/2019 23:24

Happy birthday from me Radley! And please start planning something for when you're more mobile. Whatever you fancy. Maybe a take yourself for a nice lunch and trip to the shops for a designer handbag or something. Start getting ideas now! Happy birthday! XX

neuroticnumpty · 24/02/2019 23:26

Happy Birthday @Radley60
I'm hoping you've been pleasantly surprised this evening xxx

Lizzie48 · 24/02/2019 23:27

Yes I'm hoping that, too, Biscuits.

jpclarke · 24/02/2019 23:28

Happy birthday, I really hope they had something planned for you this evening and if not please plan and book something special for yourself for when you are feeling up to it. Treat yourself and forget about the rest of them.

SusanneLinder · 24/02/2019 23:29

Happy Birthday Radley x I am angry and hurt for you. Absolute selfish bastards.
I would ( like others said), book myself a trip away, and leave them a note.

BlueEyedBengal · 24/02/2019 23:31

HAppy Birthday 🍰

whataremyoption · 24/02/2019 23:33

How mean of them OP. Happy birthday 🍰 xxx

BackforGood · 24/02/2019 23:34

Did you talk about plans for your 60th beforehand? Plan anything? I like to think no-one would get left out in our family like this, but we do tend to talk through what we are going to do weeks in advance! I wouldn't leave it up to the day and then sit and cry, I'd be saying 'its my birthday next week, what shall we get up to?'

This ^
I need more context.
Did you say you didn't want to do anything ? or you were 'dreading turning 60' or something ?
What happened when you were 50, or 40 ?
What happens on all the 'ordinary' birthdays ?

Just seems odd. If you wanted to celebrate (some people do, others apparently don't), then why didn't you arrange something ? Or, if you feel that part of the 'treat' is that you don't make the arrangements, then why didn't you let them know what you wanted ? I don't get the 'sitting here in tears' thing. I like celebrating big birthdays, so I will arrange a party. My dh (for example) doesn't so he won't - but we both know that - as we haven't just met, but have been married a long time - so that's how we roll. There are lots of different ways couples do things - none more 'right' nor 'wrong' than any other, but it is the fact you've got to 60 without establishing this within your relationship, that is puzzling me.

Tweety1981 · 24/02/2019 23:34

Happy birthday ! I’m not 60 but my parents are and they do forget birthdays !! And they have no excuse !

I know how it feels , but I know they are just flipping distracted . It’s annoying but I’m over it .tell your hubby to sleep on the couch and get dolled up and go out with ur best friend tomorrow xxx

Hippychick78 · 24/02/2019 23:36

Happy birthday... That's so horrible and selfish. Really hoping you have been taken out for a surprise dinner xxx

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 24/02/2019 23:37

Happy birthday. I’m with everyone else who suggests doing something nice for yourself and withdrawing some effort from your family. If they can’t even acknowledge your birthday, I don’t think they deserve to have you spoiling them on their days.

LoisWilkerson1 · 24/02/2019 23:39

WineFlowersSmile Happy 60th Radley

stanski · 24/02/2019 23:40

How utterly crap of them.

Happy birthday OP!

SapphireSeptember · 24/02/2019 23:42

Aww, that sucks OP. Sad Happy Birthday from here. Smile Cake

crosstalk · 24/02/2019 23:44

OP Another happy birthday from me. Flowers

What have you organised for yourself? Take yourself off for a weekend or at least an overnight by yourself and don't let them know!

Atchiclees · 24/02/2019 23:50

Happy birthday from me too FlowersCakeWine

hummanahummana · 24/02/2019 23:55

Happy 60th birthday!

It IS an important day and you are an special person. Buy yourself something nice. If they won't treat you the way you deserve to be treated, then you must treat yourself to something fabulous.