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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pretending that I did it ...

520 replies

Glitterzzz · 23/02/2019 20:00

So.. I am no chef but I can bake.. my OH asked me for a carrot cake sometime soon.. usually I would be happy to run round the supermarket get the ingredients and stand in the kitchen to turn out a half decent baked delight some hours later

But

I’m tired. It’s half term. I’m run crazy with two children with additional needs, no school or nursery breaks and trying to keep the house and I’m on a diet myself ... so I cheated.

I contacted a cake maker ordered the cake and was gutted to see how professional it looked when I collected it today considering how much u paid for it... in the need to make it seem I baked it lovingly for him I brought it home and have roughed it up a little... ( smudges in the Cream cheese frosting, a dent here a dent there and whizzed up some pecans and walnuts and whacked them on top...

Unfortunately the real baker had gone to the effort of making little sugar paste carrot decorations which she seems to have apples with a orange substance so I removed them and will just say I attempted a decoration that failed...

Does this cake look home made but not too fancy/ professional? Why do I even care ? 😂😂 I guess I love him and wanted to give him something he wanted and of course all the thanks of how lovely it is and how hard I must have worked

OP posts:

Pushpull · 24/02/2019 09:40

Missing thr point but lazy Susans are available at Ikea. (And very handy for scrabble, which of course everyone also has)

MotherofDinosaurs · 24/02/2019 09:45

Also refer all the honesty police people to the film Calender Girls. If its good enough for Helen Mirren...

RaffertyFair · 24/02/2019 09:45

As far as I'm concerned kindness and good intentions are sometimes more important than truth.

How on earth does that apply here?

SlinkyDinkyDory · 24/02/2019 09:47

I think you're a bloody genius OP. I would totally do this. Been with DH for 15 years and our relationship is great. I would tell him months later and we'd both laugh about it.

MotherofDinosaurs · 24/02/2019 09:47

RaffertyFair it applies because the OP wants to make a kind gesture with the intention of making her husband feel happy and cared for but has chosen to take a shortcut to make it easier to achieve and tell a little white lie. No one has been hurt.

ittakes2 · 24/02/2019 09:50

This is very strange - you paid someone else to bake a cake and lied to your husband about it. I get it if you paid someone and told him the truth because you were too tired - but its an odd relationship that you would want to trick him.

ballsdeep · 24/02/2019 09:53

Sod that for a bag of bollocks. Strangest thing I've seen fir a while. If he's a chef tell him to cook it himself!! It's the lying about it and going out of your way to rough it up I find weird

MsHopey · 24/02/2019 09:56

I think the lie is unnecessary. If I said I really fancied a korma and DH brought me a ready meal, cooked oke from scratch or just ordered me one from the local takeaway, I wouldn't give a shit, I'd just be happy tucking into my korma.
I would be a bit peeved if he'd lied in the process as its just so not needed, as long as I got my korma then it's a lovely gesture.
Regarding the cake board, I get 2 for £1 from the pound shop and regularly use them for my home made cakes (and I am no professional, they normally don't look good and I'm lucky if they taste good).
I regularly bake even though I don't seem to have any skill for it, DH would know instantly that the carrot cake you've shown was definitely not baked by me, no matter how hard I'd tried.
And I know everyone's relationships are different, but me and DH has been together nearly 10 years, a few months ago I broke the connection thing on the headboard, after he'd warned me I was going to as I'm too heavy getting into bed. I tried to replace it without telling him because I didn't want him to be right. I told him in the end because I needed help with it but also mentioned I was trying to do it alone. He was not bothered I'd broken the 99p bolt and bit of plastic, he was pissed that I'd tried to lie about something to irrelevant. Sometimes its just not worth it.

Also, I'd be annoyed everytime he mentioned "the best carrot cake hed ever had" and it wasn't really mine. My DH loves my cinnamon rolls 😎 and I love the fact mine are his favourite. I would be a bit put out if he preferred Kelly's from down the road.

snapcrap · 24/02/2019 09:59

How weird

Verbena37 · 24/02/2019 10:03

If he’s an ex chef, he should be making the cakes!

bobstersmum · 24/02/2019 10:04

Reading the replies I honestly am very surprised that most people seem to think the op has committed some major crime or that she's got issues. If my husband did this and then I found out later I would laugh, and be quite touched that he'd gone to what sounds like more trouble than it would have been to bake his own!

over50andfab · 24/02/2019 10:05

Wow the number of people who have posted about this . I’m almost waiting for someone to say the DH should LTB. And orgasms? Where did they come from 😂

Everyone’s relationship is different and knowing how their partners would react in this situation, and either think it funny or not. Obviously not everyone gets this.

I hope the OP comes back to update us once tasting has been done (and tells us if she’s broken her diet) 😀

RaffertyFair · 24/02/2019 10:08

RaffertyFair it applies because the OP wants to make a kind gesture with the intention of making her husband feel happy and cared for but has chosen to take a shortcut to make it easier to achieve and tell a little white lie. No one has been hurt.

Do you honestly not see how contradictory your logic is?

I agree that taking a short cut is completely fine but lying about it risks upsetting the OH where otherwise there was no risk of hurt at all. How is that a kindness, MotherofDinosaurs?

OP says herself and of course all the thanks of how lovely it is and how hard I must have worked Which is unpleasant and OP risks her OH realising she couldn't be arsed.

stopitandtidyupp · 24/02/2019 10:10

It would be funny if she was going to tell him in the end. Will you tell hip op?

I hate lies though I even want the truth about does my bum look big in this?

QuestionableMouse · 24/02/2019 10:11

@BertrandRussell can I get the recipe please?

MotherofDinosaurs · 24/02/2019 10:12

RaffertyFair do you honestly see how uptight and overcomplicated your logic is? You sound like hard work...

RaffertyFair · 24/02/2019 10:14

Missingstreetlife · 24/02/2019 10:17

Must have taken you longer than making one. I would just pick it up in sainsbury

Thecabbageassasin · 24/02/2019 10:19

People don’t think she’s committed a major crime. They seem more more perplexed by why you would bother. Buying a cake is a nice enough gesture, no need for the level of subterfuge the op has gone for. Can understand trying to impress a new partner, but your dh is just odd.
Guess everyone’s relationship is different, but If my partner did something similar I would probably feel a bit sorry for them and I would be left wondering about their self esteem, it would also cast a shadow of doubt on other stuff they where telling me, if I found out.
Even though it’s just a cake, I would assume with the ease of which she is doing it that she also does it in other areas of their life too.

Heratnumber7 · 24/02/2019 10:20

I can't get over the fact that anyone would pay £20 for a carrot cake

BertrandRussell · 24/02/2019 10:29

Speaking as a baker, you need to think about ingredients, box, board, time, profit..... 20 quid is cheap!

Surely the point here is that the OP says she knows how to bake, so her OP didn’t presumably want a carrot cake- he wanted her carrot cake?

RaffertyFair · 24/02/2019 10:32

Perfectly summed up Thecabbageassasin

rainbowstardrops · 24/02/2019 10:32

I really don't get why you lied. Sorry
I get that you wanted to do something nice for him but I don't class lying to a partner as doing something nice!

Why didn't you just say you'd buy one as you're frazzled with half-term but you'd make one once the kids were back at school? Surely he'd understand that?

I have a real issue with people lying though, so maybe others aren't so bothered by it.
If my DH lied to me about something - even something trivial like making a cake - and I found out then I'd be forever wondering what else he'd lied about.
That's just me though 🤷🏻‍♀️

HeyArthur · 24/02/2019 10:51

I would feel horribly guilty since hes so happy & excited about the homemade cake you didn't actually make.

I hope he hasn't shown anyone the pic and they've seen this thread 😂

Jezebel101 · 24/02/2019 10:52

She lied because her DH, who generally asks for nothing and works all the hours of the day and night, asked her to make him a cake. She wanted to make him happy and show him she appreciated him but was too tired to make one herself so she's passing off someone elses cake because she wants him to feel taken care of and loved.

The evil b*tch.

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