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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pretending that I did it ...

520 replies

Glitterzzz · 23/02/2019 20:00

So.. I am no chef but I can bake.. my OH asked me for a carrot cake sometime soon.. usually I would be happy to run round the supermarket get the ingredients and stand in the kitchen to turn out a half decent baked delight some hours later

But

I’m tired. It’s half term. I’m run crazy with two children with additional needs, no school or nursery breaks and trying to keep the house and I’m on a diet myself ... so I cheated.

I contacted a cake maker ordered the cake and was gutted to see how professional it looked when I collected it today considering how much u paid for it... in the need to make it seem I baked it lovingly for him I brought it home and have roughed it up a little... ( smudges in the Cream cheese frosting, a dent here a dent there and whizzed up some pecans and walnuts and whacked them on top...

Unfortunately the real baker had gone to the effort of making little sugar paste carrot decorations which she seems to have apples with a orange substance so I removed them and will just say I attempted a decoration that failed...

Does this cake look home made but not too fancy/ professional? Why do I even care ? 😂😂 I guess I love him and wanted to give him something he wanted and of course all the thanks of how lovely it is and how hard I must have worked

Pretending that I did it ...
OP posts:
Insomnibrat · 23/02/2019 23:53

Won't he find it strange that after 4 years together you've suddenly, without weeks of failures and attempts and effort, produced a professional standard carrot cake from nowhere?...

SparklySneakers · 23/02/2019 23:54

Sad.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 23/02/2019 23:55

IvanaPee too right,the PTA crew are wiley and determined,they’ll break us given a chance

WyfOfBathe · 23/02/2019 23:57

I don't know whether to feel sorry for you, feeling like you have to lie to your partner, or for your partner, because you lie to him even about the 'little' things.

I can't imagine choosing to be in a relationship with someone I couldn't be honest with about things like whether I made a cake Hmm

IvanaPee · 24/02/2019 00:00

IvanaPee too right,the PTA crew are wiley and determined,they’ll break us given a chance

Grin Grin

LMDC · 24/02/2019 00:01

This is bloody bonkers. Your relationship sounds exhausting Confused

Walkaround · 24/02/2019 00:02

LipstickHandbagCoffee - why do you feel the need to pretend you baked a cake for the PTA? I just send the cakes in in their packets - even the PTA understand that some people either don't like baking or just don't have the time.

halfwitpicker · 24/02/2019 00:10

Dunno why you're getting a load of flack op - like your the the only woman who ever faked anything!

And that cake seems very reasonable, crikey

Crunchymum · 24/02/2019 00:28

@halfwitpicker

Faking it really helps a situation doesn't it????

RaffertyFair · 24/02/2019 00:32

halfwitpicker
But why would OP want to fake it in this situation? Even if OP views it as some sort of prank - it's not funny - it's just weird.

RagingWhoreBag · 24/02/2019 00:42

"Yes I love that shirt darling". I prefer the blue one on you.

"I'm so looking forward to spending Christmas with your parents" It wears me out peopleing, I’ll come along but I’ll bring my own car so I can leave if I need to, so you can stay and enjoy yourself.

"Yes inviting your golf friends over for dinner is a lovely idea" How about you all go out?!

It’s not hard to just be honest Grin

Little white lies are fine. I don't want my DH to say thinks my new hair cut looks weird

I’d honestly rather he was straight with me - I know exactly what my new haircut looks like - he tells me he prefers it longer, I cut it short anyway because I like it! I tell him he needs a haircut because he looks like a hobo. No need for anyone to lie.

RagingWhoreBag · 24/02/2019 00:44

Dunno why you're getting a load of flack op - like your the the only woman who ever faked anything!

What’s the fucking point of that either - what man ever got better in bed by his GF faking her orgasms?! If you’re not feeling it, make him do it better.

halfwitpicker · 24/02/2019 00:49

Who mentioned orgasms?!

PCohle · 24/02/2019 00:50

Good for you RagingWhoreBag different things work for different people and different relationships.

I am of the view that unrelenting brutal honesty would be rather tiresome.

Lots of people try and do nice things for their partner and for me, part of that is being enthusiastic about spending time with his family. He does the same for me and I appreciate it and am grateful.

It sounds like OP is more similar to my relationship. I think that's perfectly reasonable and healthy.

RagingWhoreBag · 24/02/2019 00:50

Well women faking things is usually referring to orgasms. I guess they also fake tits, hair, eyelashes etc but it’s just as absurd to pretend you’re a natural blonde to your DH while hiding the Nice N Easy in the bathroom!

RaffertyFair · 24/02/2019 01:06

Lots of people try and do nice things for their partner

Precisely PCohle. Buying a cake is a nice thing to do. But OP has decided to pretend she has done a nicer thing ... i.e. bake it herself. Why?

FlagranceDirect · 24/02/2019 01:11

This is bloody bonkers. Your relationship sounds exhausting

It does seem a really odd thing to do unless you're 14 and you've pretended you've baked a cake for your first proper boyfriend.
What's the end game? Let him think you baked it and then tell him you didn't? Will that be funny? Or NEVER tell him you didn't. So what's the point of that then? He thinks you did, you know you didn't. How is that satisfactory for either? He's been lied to and she's lied to him.

I'm failing to understand the reasoning here.
I once baked my husband a cake and it was rubbish. He knew as sure as eggs is eggs that I hadn't been out and bought it.
This is a really strange thing to do, in my opinion. If one of my friends was to do this I'd be worrying about her, one way or another.

OneDayIWish · 24/02/2019 01:14

He will know that you haven't made it, and will go along with the pretence. The inside of the cake will look professional and there's nothing you can do about that. Why don't you laugh and say you have a confession to make, and own up that you didn't make the cake and you can both laugh about it.

RaffertyFair · 24/02/2019 01:19

Why don't you laugh and say you have a confession to make, and own up that you didn't make the cake and you can both laugh about it.

Laugh about what? I cant see what it is that you think is funny?

TinselAndKnickers · 24/02/2019 01:22

Agree with a PP who said YABU for having your DP saved as baby bear!! Grin

BetterEatCheese · 24/02/2019 01:26

I once accidentally created a web of lies when a similar incident. I lied and said I'd made some coconut macaroons which colleagues then kept requesting. Damn them

Dohee · 24/02/2019 01:39

Some people are just pathological liars. They actually can't help themselves.

Mississippilessly · 24/02/2019 01:46

Sorry OP. I'm aware you posted this as a lighthearted thing but I just cannot imagine ever pretending I'd made a cake and buying it instead. Just.. why?! Is it the 50s again and we are all expected to be baking loads? If so then I get it.

I just dont understand why you would bother. And this isnt the same as 'oh I like that shirt'. That's a lie yes but you have added layers of effort to this lie for absolutely no reason. Saying you like someone's shirt is to stop feelings being hurt. But why on earth would you buy a cake and then go through this panto?!?! And the trying to please him comments are just plain odd. Wouldn't he be pleased with a bought cake?
There is something not quite right here, and I cant decide if it's you or your DH.

AlexaAmbidextra · 24/02/2019 01:53

If you applaud the OP for this and would do it yourself, own your dishonesty and insecurity, don’t deflect onto the rest of us to ease your consciences.

It’s a fucking carrot cake! She hasn’t roasted her first-born and presented it to him on a golden platter. It’s obviously the annual Humourless Bastards Convention on here this weekend. ☹️

Mississippilessly · 24/02/2019 02:00

But why is it funny?
I dont get the joke?

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