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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pretending that I did it ...

520 replies

Glitterzzz · 23/02/2019 20:00

So.. I am no chef but I can bake.. my OH asked me for a carrot cake sometime soon.. usually I would be happy to run round the supermarket get the ingredients and stand in the kitchen to turn out a half decent baked delight some hours later

But

I’m tired. It’s half term. I’m run crazy with two children with additional needs, no school or nursery breaks and trying to keep the house and I’m on a diet myself ... so I cheated.

I contacted a cake maker ordered the cake and was gutted to see how professional it looked when I collected it today considering how much u paid for it... in the need to make it seem I baked it lovingly for him I brought it home and have roughed it up a little... ( smudges in the Cream cheese frosting, a dent here a dent there and whizzed up some pecans and walnuts and whacked them on top...

Unfortunately the real baker had gone to the effort of making little sugar paste carrot decorations which she seems to have apples with a orange substance so I removed them and will just say I attempted a decoration that failed...

Does this cake look home made but not too fancy/ professional? Why do I even care ? 😂😂 I guess I love him and wanted to give him something he wanted and of course all the thanks of how lovely it is and how hard I must have worked

Pretending that I did it ...
OP posts:
over50andfab · 23/02/2019 23:12

Oh...and I’m guessing you’ll serve it up, chortling to yourself, then won’t be able to contain yourself from telling him what you really did Grin

Walkaround · 23/02/2019 23:15

It's not really a demonstration of your love for someone, to want them to think you made an effort for them that you didn't make. It's just lying because you think you should have made more effort than you did. It's also somewhat weird to want your dh to compliment you for a cake you lied about making.

IvanaPee · 23/02/2019 23:16

Hilarious?

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 23/02/2019 23:17

It’s a cake!She’s not lying about kids parentage,who’s the daddy.its no biggie
She’s pulling A fast one about a cake,pretending she got busy
I’m most impressed it was only £20

Walkaround · 23/02/2019 23:17

Still, if it tastes great...

PCohle · 23/02/2019 23:17

It's a little white lie not a damaging web of deceit. I'm sure if her DH finds out he'll find it funny. If OP says her marriage is fine and this isn't a sign of a horrible abusive DH then I think everyone should lighten up a bit.

I palm things off as home made on my mother all the time. Works less well now my kids are old enough to grass me up.

Although be careful OP. I made a "homemade" Thai curry using a jar for my po faced SIL. She loved it and I was lapping up the praise (had artfully left my pestle and mortar out) until she asked for the recipe and I had to try and make one up off the top of my head whilst my DH and kids pissed themselves at me.

HoppingPavlova · 23/02/2019 23:18

I’m just so confused.

Surely the normal thing to do would be to say to DH that you were too busy to make a cake as intended, wanted him to have something great so purchased this off a specialty baker, it looks great and you’re sure he won’t be disappointed and can’t wait to eat it with him. That’s normal.

What you have done is all sorts of crazy, yet somehow you think it’s normalConfused.

HappyLife21 · 23/02/2019 23:18

There’s lots of threads about how lies can spdestroy a relationship. And a lot of it is ‘little white lies’, which as a one off might not be so bad, but some people tell lots of them and it just undermines absolutely everything that they say.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 23/02/2019 23:20

I bought a shop cake took it out packaging dusted it in sugar sent it in to school
Couldn’t be bothered with arse ache of the mother superiors,so yea fake it to make it

janetforpresident · 23/02/2019 23:22

But WHY LIE if you have a happy marriage? For me a happy marriage means you are so close to the person that you can tell them everything and show them exactly who you are without fear of judgment or disappointment.

It's not the type of lie that's the issue just the fact that she feels the need to lie

HappyLife21 · 23/02/2019 23:23

Buying a cake = fine.

Passing it off as your own = every kind of cringe.

IvanaPee · 23/02/2019 23:23

I’m not sure what mother superiors are but lying to the school isn’t the same to me.

Lying about making a cake in your own home, dirtying bowls etc. it’s just odd!

IncrediblySadToo · 23/02/2019 23:24

I don’t think you needed to add any “nuts” to this cake

😂🤣😂🤣

Absolutely nucking futs 🍰

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 23/02/2019 23:27

mother superiors.the annoying aren’t I so good competitive PTA gobshites
They are living their best life and loving being mummies.
Wet boak

PCohle · 23/02/2019 23:27

Because I think people who say that they never lie to their spouse are lying to MN.

"Yes I love that shirt darling"
"I'm so looking forward to spending Christmas with your parents"
"Yes inviting your golf friends over for dinner is a lovely idea"

Little white lies are fine. I don't want my DH to say thinks my new hair cut looks weird,
I just don't.

It's not the same thing as having an affair or secretly racking up £50k of debt.

over50andfab · 23/02/2019 23:29

Perhaps, to the OP, having a happy marriage is pulling this sort of stunt secure in the knowledge that even if she tells him the truth after, he will appreciate the joke and love her just as much for making the effort to buy a good one —because she cba to make one—

IvanaPee · 23/02/2019 23:31

Did someone compare it to an affair?!

I don’t think it’s a huge problem just really weird!

As for the mother superior thing; I consider myself lucky not to have experience of it Grin but I avoid the school gate like the plague and only attend things I absolutely have to! Wink

IvanaPee · 23/02/2019 23:32

So it’s a joke??

Crunchymum · 23/02/2019 23:34

@flumpybear it's 168 hours a week.

OP, seems like you may be a little bored if you need to add this sort of "dramaz" to everyday life. Just tell your husband you are too damn tired to make a cake and be done.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 23/02/2019 23:36

IvanaPee,great name!mother superiors are pernicious
I’m not at school gate I work FT but the PTA fuckers have my email

WorraLiberty · 23/02/2019 23:36

I'd still like to know if the kids will have to lie but the OP doesn't seem to want to answer.

IHateUncleJamie · 23/02/2019 23:44

Hang on. The OP lies, changes the decoration on the cake, fakes washing up, takes credit for a cake she didn’t make, just so that she can impress her OH and enjoy the praise and compliments for SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK.

Yet people who have scruples, are honest and are sufficiently secure in their marriages to either say “Yep, I’ll make you one after half term” or “Haven’t got time this week darling but I’ll grab one from M&S” are weird and insane? Nope. If you applaud the OP for this and would do it yourself, own your dishonesty and insecurity, don’t deflect onto the rest of us to ease your consciences.

IvanaPee · 23/02/2019 23:46

I’m not at school gate I work FT but the PTA fuckers have my email

They’re like Liam Neeson from Taken! They will find you, and they will judge your cakes... Grin

LittlePaintBox · 23/02/2019 23:49

It sounds like more effort than making the cake from scratch! Why can't you say 'I bought this lovely hand-made cake for you as I don't have time to make one this week'? Wouldn't that show him you cared and also give him the enjoyment of a delicious cake?

Billballbaggins · 23/02/2019 23:51

Going so far as to fake washing up makes this beyond a ‘white lie.’ Plus white lies all add up. Nope this is too weird and wrong. I’d feel so guilty lying to my DH like this.