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AIBU?

About this holiday situation?

159 replies

HolidayQ · 23/02/2019 16:43

NC for this.

Im on holiday at the moment, After a stressful few months I decided I really needed a break for abit. I asked my friends but noone was able to come. I mentioned it to a friend I met through work and although we are not very close we do speak over whatsapp and we meet up occasionally, she was totally up for it and wanted to book right away.

Anyway I have been here 4 days now and she has barely spoken a word. She does not initiate any conversation. If I dont talk then she will not talk at all, and then she barely responds if I say anything. When she does respond its simply with “yes” “no” or “hmm.” Ive tried to speak to her but she sometimes doesnt respond at all. Ive asked her if everything is ok or if there is anything she wants to talk about but she just says no.

Its so bad that ive got friendly with other people here and tried to include her and they have asked me if she speaks english! If they ask her something she will not respond, so they will ask me to ask her and eventually she will but again its one word answers. Sometimes she will just laugh in response.

I havent seen her interact with anyone else here either, no other holiday makers and no staff so I dont think its personal to me.

Also she has only showered once since being here and without sounding rude wibu to address this with her as she is starting to smell as is the room?

OP posts:

Report

shpoot · 24/02/2019 17:00

Also want to know how it's going. Very weird not to speak at all

EatingElephantsIsCF · 24/02/2019 17:07

Have you managed to get another room OP ?

HolidayQ · 25/02/2019 18:52

Oh my god its getting worse! please help me she is sucking the life out of me. She is so depressing. I actually cant bare to be around her any longer. She wont even initiate going to dinner or breakfast she will just sit there staring at me when it gets to that time. I cant take it anymore. I actually wanted a nice holiday and a laugh but is been hell. Another thing is shes only bought a bag?! how can a weeks worth of stuff fit into one bag? shes worn tracksuits the whole time weve been here, its 30 degrees! she also said she has a bf but she hasnt spoken to him or anyone for that matter the whole time weve been here! I cant spend anymore time around her, is there a kind way to tell her this? I know if I dont suggest going for food she wont eat. She just sits there waiting for me.

OP posts:

Morgan12 · 25/02/2019 19:00

Honestly just tell her. She is being so rude acting this way so why shouldn't you be rude aswell.

HolidayQ · 25/02/2019 19:15

Im worried how she might act if I tell her. Im genuinely concerened for her. But I think your right. I cant even face being around here anymore so I will have to say something

OP posts:

username80001 · 25/02/2019 19:16

Just tell her and if she's wearing tracksuits, can't you offer her something to wear ?
I'd seriously ask her what the matter is .

Puzzledandpissedoff · 25/02/2019 19:21

Surely you could ask if they have another room you could use? It's only for another couple of nights so it's not as if it should cost a fortune

Suggested script for her: "This really isn't working is it? You clearly don't want to speak with me at all, so I thought it would be nicer to leave you in peace by getting another room"

What's the plan for the airport transfer and flight home? Presumably you can sit separately if the first is a coach, and no doubt the airline will be happy to sit you apart, if only to leave "together" seats for those who fail to book but still demand them

theemmadilemma · 25/02/2019 19:23

She's wearing tracksuits and only bought one little bag? She must stink!!

importantkath · 25/02/2019 19:27

Can you not say 'I'm off to the bar!' And go have a few drinks? If she joins you, it's up to her but go and join people at the table?

Have you got books? Lie by the pool and read?

Not long left, two more nights. Don't wait for her to have fun, take charge and do it yourself!

SapphireFire · 25/02/2019 19:30

I'm opened mouthed at this! It's staggering. Does she have additional needs??? SURELY no one would behave so badly on holiday. And the not showering thing - yuck! And the teeth!

I would totally ignore her. Get up and leave without saying anything at mealtimes. Pay no attention if she speaks to you - make HER ask if there's anything wrong.

You poor thing! Switch off from her and enjoy your last couple of days.

HolidayQ · 25/02/2019 19:50

thats the thing im debating between telling her (but worrying about her reaction I mean I am alone with her on an island ) Or just ignoring her for the rest of the holiday?! Im hoping we are sat seperately again on the flight. She has zero personaility at all. There is nothing there. I honestly think her “boyfriend” is a figment of her imagination. I asked her if shes looking forward to getting home and seeing her bf or friends and she just laughed.. again. I havent seen any toiletries so I dont think shes brought any. Its literally a handbag type bag she has 2 one she carries around and one with clothes in. I have left my toiletries in the bathroom hoping she would help herself but she hasnt.

She smells very bad now, my friend was meant to be picking us up from the airport but I will honestly be embarrased by the smell.

OP posts:

username80001 · 25/02/2019 19:57

Maybe she's too shy or nervous to ask to borrow your toiletries .
I can't believe you've not said anything to her .
Just say look don't take this the wrong way but you have hardly spoke all week is there anything wrong ? Also I've noticed you've not showered please feel free to use my toiletries. What's the worse that will happen she'll not speak to you ?

MatildaTheCat · 25/02/2019 20:01

I’m completely baffled that you haven’t addressed this. A PP suggested an excellent WhatsApp message if you are too embarrassed to speak to her. Just state that you are really worried and upset that she hasn’t spoken to you the whole holiday and you’ve noticed she’s not showering or changing her clothes and that also worries you and you need her to at least tell you what’s going on. She doesn’t sound ok but equally she’s treating you very badly.

Talk to her one way or another and frame questions so that she can’t just say yes or no.

Decormad38 · 25/02/2019 20:11

Im picturing the guy from Little Britain 😆 Just say ‘well you are a right bag of laughs aren’t you? And on top of that you stink, get a bloody shower lass’ - Perhaps just the Yorkshire in me!

HolidayQ · 25/02/2019 20:11

I have, ive asked her many times if there is a problem. She just says no! Ive told her the other holiday makers asked me if she is english as she doesnt talk to anyone and she just laughed Ive said if there is anything she wants to talk about and again she says no. Its like talking to a brick wall.

OP posts:

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 25/02/2019 20:16

Sounds like she's clinically depressed OP. Maybe just do your own thing and try not to take it personally?

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 25/02/2019 20:18

How old are you both?

PlinkPlink · 25/02/2019 21:16

HolidayQ one day, in the future, you will look back on this experience and laugh.

For now though, it sounds like she has some real problems interacting socially. If you don't want to be around her, tell her and tell her why. Brutal but delicate honesty really needs to sort this out. Like don't be mean but be honest.

Like you say though, you're on an island alone with her... maybe wait until the flight home? Until then, keep one eye open whilst you're asleep😂😂😂

BMW6 · 25/02/2019 21:28

Bloody hell, she sounds really unnerving!
I think in your shoes I'd see if I could get separate accommodation for the rest of your holiday, and avoid her like the plague.

Way too weird for me.

HolidayQ · 25/02/2019 21:33

I would be worried about waking up with my hair shaved off or something if I say anything to her. Think im gonna try to avoid her for the rest of the holiday then never speak to her again when im safetly back home!

OP posts:

puppy23 · 25/02/2019 21:41

Such a shame your holiday in such a gorgeous place has been ruined by this! At least your future trips will be even better in comparison now!

sonjadog · 25/02/2019 21:43

It sounds like there is something more going on than just being shy here. But it really isn't your problem. Try to focus on what you want to do the remainder of your holiday, and then avoid her for ever more when you get home!

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RedBerryTea · 26/02/2019 16:40

You mentioned in your first post that you meet up occasionally with this woman. How does she behave then? It seems so strange that she isn't communicating or washing and I wouldn't want to share sleeping quarters with her as there is quite clearly something amiss. On a lighter note, if you have never seen the Father Ted episode "Entertaining Father Stone" you need to watch it. I think about it whenever I read your updates.

Rassy · 28/02/2019 10:07

How was the rest of your holiday and trip home?

PlinkPlink · 28/02/2019 12:02

Yes OP, are you still alive with all your hair and eyebrows in tact?

How was the journey back?

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