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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this cafe needs to rethink their message to customers?

708 replies

GunpowderGelatine · 22/02/2019 23:37

Seen this on Facebook today from a cafe -

So we are a dog friendly cafe which is completely acceptable by health and safety as long as the dogs don’t cook your food or enter the kitchen 😡 so don’t give us a hard time if you don’t like dogs because we like dogs better than humans - note don’t give Vicky a hard time over happy dogs because Vicky will always defend the dogs

Now I have a bit of a fear of dogs and wouldn't expect to see one in a cafe and I'd be a bit pissed off if I paid good money for food and drink only to be bollocked by "Vicky" if I didn't like a dog in my face Hmm AIBU to think it's not a good message to tell your paying customers that they come second to another species?

OP posts:
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Streamingbannersofdawn · 25/02/2019 12:28

You've missed the rest of that quote OP.

An elderly lady had her hip broken by a child who was running around.

Of course children rampaging around in a restaurant are a danger to others. If a child runs into a waitress carrying a tray of hot drinks she is just as likely to be scalded as the child!

strawberrisc · 25/02/2019 12:32

It's not a local cafe but it's somewhere we go once a year on a short break so that's why I follow the cafe.

@GunpowderGelatine I'm sure Vicky will be gutted to lose out on your one coffee a year custom.

Jellyonawonkyplate · 25/02/2019 12:39

Vicky is very OTT and a bit rude.

LaFreaka · 25/02/2019 12:44

don't expect everyone else to love them too and don't be all that surprised when people are nervous of them I don't expect anyone to love my dog and I encounter people - not many but some are who are truly terrified off him (and he's not in the least bit scary) it must be awful for those people, I do understand - my dd has petrified of dogs when she was younger - we would have avoided a dog friendly cafe and we would have been appreciative of the cafe being very upfront about their dog friendly status, so we wouldn't make ourselves comfortable only to be disturbed by a dog arriving. I am very relieved that following a lot of hard work we turned dd around and she now loves dogs - us getting a dog was the final stage in her therapy and it was well worth it for her - and us too!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/02/2019 13:27

any given child I will like unless there's a very good reason not to. I certainly don't get pissed off with them being out in public or one of these people who tuts loudly every time they open their mouths

Nor am I. Nor, I think, are most of the respondents on here. Most of us are saying that we would rather share a public space with a well-behaved do than a badly behaved child. I fall into that category.

*I find it alarming how many people proudly wear their "I can't stand children badges"

What's "alarming" about it? They aren't campaigning to have them wiped out as a sub-species. Some people, for whatever reason, are not comfortable around children. Why is it okay for you to be uncomfortable around dogs, but for others not to want to be in the company of children?

Many (too many) dogs still maul newborn babies to death though so while we're making sweeping statements I'm inclined to think they're not that nice.

Many (too many) adults kill or abuse babies and children I'm inclined t think they're bloody horrible! The few dogs which do attack people do it in response to something - which we may be unaware of (dog may be ill, and child unwittingly torments it; newborn cry sounds like an injured prey animal; dog has been abused etc) and it almost invariably comes down to small children being left alone with a dog - the fault of the carer, not the animal. Do I trust my dogs - YES! Would I risk leaving ANY dog, including my well-trained, good-natured ones, alone with an infant? NO! That is common sense.

The adults who harm or even kill children don't always have as clear cut a reason - most of them are just horrible people.

it's not normal to have such a blatant hatred of the species you're part of

On the contrary - it's only too normal - that's why there are so many wars and massacres. But nobody here is advocating getting rid of children from public places - just saying they'd rather not be subjected to the noise and mess many cause, in the same way that you'd rather not be subjected to the noise and mess you feel inevitably accompanies a dog.

I'm just baffled that people think taking dogs out or having dogs is even remotely the same as taking children out of having children. Comparing apples and oranges!

You do realise that you've made an enormously stupid comparison if you are trying to illustrate your argument, don't you? Apples and oranges are different but of equal value.

if you like that kind of cafe (even if they do put other people's dog above you) and don't mind the owner's attitude, it really is worth going to, the cake is fab and the setting is very pretty.

After all of the vitriol you've spouted about the owner's FB post (which you took from a personal page, it appears, and quoted out of context, you have the unmitigated gall to say that? You're lucky she doesn't know who you are - you might be banned form her amazing cakes for life!

You really are the most patronising, individual!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/02/2019 13:34

That's fine, but don't expect everyone else to love them too

We don't - we expect other people to accept the fact that we love them, enjoy spending time with them, and having got them have a responsibility to look after them properly - and this includes not leaving them alone in the house for hours on end.

Last time I had some interaction with a child was over three months ago.

You're living the dream Shatner Grin

ShatnersWig · 25/02/2019 13:40

SchadenfreudePersonified Grin

bringmethehorizonx · 25/02/2019 14:13

If you don't like it, go elsewhere.

It's their cafe. They can do what they want and let in who they want.

Embarrassingstoryteller · 25/02/2019 14:25

Well I wouldn't go there mainly because they sound like d*cks, but almost all the cafes I go to near me are dog friendly and the better for it.

We often end up chatting to the person next to us if they have a nice (and well behaved) dog.

OftenHangry · 25/02/2019 16:04

Tbf it's not really "not liking children".

It's more like not liking parents who let them loudly roam freely even behind a fucking bar.
We had stairs going down in our place. Small place mind me. I can't even count how many times I had to dash in there to stop the small child from going to explore the basement...

It's astonishing how many parents just chill and kind of assume staff will stop their kids from mischief

caringcarer · 25/02/2019 16:17

We have two adorable puppies but would not take them into a cafe. They have sat under the table outside though on holiday with a bowl of water when we called in for a coffee when out walking the dogs.

woollyheart · 25/02/2019 17:28

It might be that some cafe owners prefer dogs because most dog owners assume they have to keep their own dog under control, and wouldn't allow them to run wild.

Whereas many (but not all!) parents think that if children are welcome, they can run around wildly and the staff must put up with it or else it is the staff's job to keep their children under control.

Serving hot food and drinks with either people or animals dashing about must be a nightmare.

bbysittingNC · 25/02/2019 17:57

I'd just vote with my feet and not go there!

Filbert7 · 25/02/2019 19:25

There are some awful dog owners on mumsnet.

I have lifelong scars following an entirely unprovoked attack by a pitbull-type dog; I am now scared of them. This, apparently, makes me a cunt.

GunpowderGelatine · 25/02/2019 19:51

@SchadenfreudePersonified I equally CBA replying to your last post I've said all I needed to say and answered everything in my other post, except:

"Comparing apples and oranges" is a very well known turn of phrase

I never said the cafe did bad food, just that I thought the owner's attitude stunk. How is it "gall" to compliment the food Confused

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 25/02/2019 19:53

*really not equally

OP posts:
purpleelk · 25/02/2019 20:10

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GunpowderGelatine · 25/02/2019 20:11

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HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 25/02/2019 20:16

VICKY DON'T DO ELKS

FemalePersonator · 25/02/2019 21:01

Maybe Vicky was bitten by an elk.

A moose bit my sister once.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/02/2019 22:40

A Canadian moose or a Scottish moose, Personator?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 25/02/2019 22:41

"Comparing apples and oranges" is a very well known turn of phrase

I am aware of that Gelatine - and you used it incorrectly.

purpleelk · 25/02/2019 22:50

I understand just fine OP. You on the other hand clearly don’t, as many repeatedly pointed out to you.

Filbert7 · 25/02/2019 22:53

I don't see how OP used 'comparing apples to oranges' incorrectly, unless you're trying to argue that having dogs and having children is the same thing?

Yabbers · 25/02/2019 23:15

Kids who are afraid of dogs have been poorly parented anyway

@Hairyporker that’s a ridiculous attitude.

DD has been afraid of pretty much any animal since about birth. At one point she was even terrified of a fur hood on my jacket. We have no idea what caused it and have never pandered to it. We have worked really hard with her to reduce her fear and she was doing so well until at about 4 years old, a big dog came bounding up “just being friendly” knocking her out of her walking frame and sending her flying. We weren’t there at the time, she was with her Granny who isn’t quite as quick to react to these sorts of things. At 9 years old she can now see a dog and not melt down completely but she had a similar experience last week when out with friends which has set her back a bit.

I was scared of dogs as a child, despite having been around them quite a lot, my parents have no idea why I was scared either as nothing had happened. I’m fine with them now so it’s not as if I’ve passed a fear on to her.

DD was also scared of dressed up people, I guess that’s our fault too?

Some kids are just scared of stuff. Poor parenting is forcing them to be around those things and telling them not to be silly. Good parenting is listening to their anxieties and working with them to reduce the fear. We’d have been far more successful at that were it not for entitled dog owners who think their dogs should have free rein to come running at children.

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