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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend slept with a stag on night out

489 replies

HopeDog · 22/02/2019 11:50

On a night out recently and a friend starting chatting to a group of men on a stag night. She ended up going back to a hotel with, and had sex with the stag.

She thinks she is bu as she is single.

Aibu to think she is wrong?

OP posts:
mooncuplanding · 22/02/2019 11:52

The party line on MN is that its not her responsibility, she is single

However I agree with you. It's not very nice and its pretty grim. Breaks the girl code.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 22/02/2019 11:53

I think it’s none of your business what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own bedroom (rented or otherwise).

Your friend is juvenile for discussing her sex life. She should get a dollop of dignity.

AlexaShutUp · 22/02/2019 11:53

Both she and the guy were in the wrong. I wouldn't be friends with someone who thought that was ok.

HopeDog · 22/02/2019 11:54
  • isn't bu
OP posts:
BitchQueen90 · 22/02/2019 11:54

I don't think it's a nice thing to do and I wouldn't do it.

I hate this whole talk about "girl code" though. Women don't owe women anything just for being women.

Fraula · 22/02/2019 11:55

Clearly immoral, without question.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 22/02/2019 11:56

You never know, perhaps the stag woke up and realised he couldnt go through with the wedding . Who knows?

StealthPolarBear · 22/02/2019 11:56

She slept with (effectively) a married man. One who still has the option to reverse his decision if his wife doesn't understand him.
He's more responsible but she's still in the wrong.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 22/02/2019 11:57

Well she's not technically cheating as she's single but it's morally dubious IMO.

SuchAToDo · 22/02/2019 11:57

Your friend is a bit skanky to be honest op, if she knew he was the stag then she will know he's obviously getting married soon...I know it takes two to tango and it's his fault too, but your friend made it easy by being easy and sleeping with someone elses fella

PrivacyPolicyYeahRight · 22/02/2019 11:57

You will get the “none of your business” lines trotted out - if the woman didn’t want people to be involved in her business then she should keep her mouth shut about her sexual conquests.

To be honest your friend is right really. Let’s face it, he would have gone off with a different woman if that was his aim that night. So I see her point.

He sounds a right catch...I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t choose to sleep with a man on a stag. It’s a bit vulgar isn’t it!

79andnotout · 22/02/2019 11:57

his problem not hers.

PinkHeart5914 · 22/02/2019 11:58

Women don't owe women anything just for being women
Maybe not but decent people don’t fuck over another woman they’ve never met for a cheap shag

His a cheating bastard and your friend is horrible, they are as bad as each other.

Hopefully one day when your friend genuinely loves someone they will cheat and then she’ll understand the pain caused by women like her

AryaStarkWolf · 22/02/2019 11:59

Obviously the stag is most wrong there and no doubt if he slept with your friend he could have slept with (and probably has) anyone else, I pity his poor bride to be. It's still a dickish move on your friends part though imo of course

bingoitsadingo · 22/02/2019 11:59

Women don't have a responsibility to police the behaviour of crap men.

I wouldn't do it personally, but not because of "girl code", just because I have no interested in sleeping with someone that scummy.

GiveMeFiveMinutes · 22/02/2019 12:00

Her moral compass must be broken.

It's not ok to sleep with someone who is about to be married. What he has done is far, far worse, but if she were my friend, I'd be looking at her differently.

purplepears · 22/02/2019 12:00

Classy

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 22/02/2019 12:00

Technically she didn't do anything wrong, but I'd be really wary of her in future, it's just not right.

cleanasawhistle · 22/02/2019 12:01

You dont sleep with someone elses partner.

I had a friend who found out on the third date that the bloke was married....he is the one cheating,not me.

She is an ex friend.Disgusting attitude

Armadillostoes · 22/02/2019 12:01

YANBU. It's more about the human code than the girl code though. Decent people don't have sex with someone if they know that the person they are in bed with is cheating on their partner. It's horrible and selfish behaviour.

Al2O3 · 22/02/2019 12:03

Let's hope fawns do not follow.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 22/02/2019 12:03

They’re both in the wrong. He’s apparently getting married (lucky bride, not) and she knew that.

He’s a cheating bastard but she’s scummy as well whether she’s single or not.

Asta19 · 22/02/2019 12:03

It's more about the human code than the girl code though

^ This, 100%
It's just about being a decent human being.

WhiteDust · 22/02/2019 12:04

God. Who are these people?Grim. Both him and her.

TrixieFranklin · 22/02/2019 12:05

They're both arseholes, she knew he was in a serious relationship and he's a cheating cunt.

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