Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

NDN wants to use our driveway for building work - AIBU?

563 replies

NigellaAwesome · 20/02/2019 21:12

Having quickly checked that the thread titled 'Twat Next Door' wasn't about us, I hoped to get hive mind views on our neighbour.

This might be long, but I don't want to drip-feed. For background, we have lived next to them for about 10 years. She's OK, but he is a complete knob. We call him Gobby Gordon. We've had a few issues over the years. The first was when one of their young relatives threw stones at our car repeatedly and caused substantial damage. When I told the wife what had happened, she was very apologetic and said she would pay. The dealer quoted £800 to repair, but I got a contact to do it at knockdown price for £120 + vat. However when I went round a couple of weeks later to let her know how much it would be, the husband arrived round later ranting and raving and threw a cheque at us for £120 but giving off severely. We were a bit Hmm about it, especially since he drove a Maserati and I doubt he would have appreciated the same being done to his car. That somewhat set the tone, but we have pretty much ignored each other over the years, with a couple of exceptions.

Our driveway is between the two houses, and beyond our fence they have about a metre passageway before their gable wall. A number of years ago I arrived home to find a workman on ladders in our driveway doing work on their chimney. They hadn't let us know, and I was shocked to find him there because we have electric gates and he must have climbed over the gates / fence to get in. I almost knocked him off the ladder because I was reversing in and only saw him at the last minute. When I asked what he was doing on my property he was really abusive. He refused to leave, and police were called and I think there was some sort of warning given. Gobby Gordon gave off to my DH about it afterwards, calling us crap neighbours. When we pointed out that he hadn't had the courtesy to ask us beforehand, he said that the workman had rung our doorbell but there had been no answer (no shit Sherlock, we were out).

A few months later I saw the wife and we had a chat. She was ok, and I explained that whilst we were happy in principle with access being given, it needed to be by prior arrangement, and with one of them - not a random builder, talking to us beforehand. This has been the case since for the last few years, and we have provided access on about 3 occasions since then. The wife has always called with us, provided details of the builder, and everything has been fine with minimal disruption.

Last week we were out and we got a call from the gates (gates connect to our phone when they are called). It was a builder asking to get onto our property to look at doing some work. We were out, had no idea what he was talking about, and said it wasn't really convenient. We didn't hear anything more.

This evening we were out again, and got a call from the gates. It was a builder asking if he could speak with us. We were out, but coming back in 15 minutes, so I said if he could hang on we would chat with him. When we got back home, he was waiting for us. He knew our names, and knew a lot about us including what we do for a living (which I'm not very happy about).

The builder said he wanted access to our driveway to build scaffolding on it to rebuild the neighbour's chimney. I was pretty pissed off that I was having this conversation directly with him, and that neither of the neighbours had spoken to us about it. When I told him this, he said that he had never even met the wife, only Gobby Gordon. He told Gordon last week that he needed to speak to us about access, but Gordon hasn't bothered his arse.

When I asked about what needed to be done, he said it would be scaffolded for 7 to 10 days (so realistically likely to be 3 weeks). Our driveway will be out of action for that time, and we have 2 cars that can't be parked outside on the busy road. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of bricks being brought up and down scaffolding which could land on our driveway, our pets, or our children. I'm going through quite a stressful time in work at the moment, and I also have professional exams coming up, so really could do without 3 weeks of building work. There's more, which would be a bit outing, but it was clear from what the builder said that Gobby Gordon had discussed a lot of private information about us - information that we didn't even know that Gordon knew, so that has really, really pissed me off. The builder also laid it on really thick that he had travelled a very long way to discuss this with us. The conversation ended with me telling the builder that I was sorry for his inconvenience, but this was an issue for the neighbours to speak to us directly about, not him, and the neighbours knew the score before they sent him round to discuss it with us. DH feels a bit sorry for the builder, but I just think this is Gobby Gordon being a cheeky fucker and sending the builder round to lay it on thick rather than having the manners to speak to us directly.

This is more a WWYD rather than AIBU. MN WWYD & AIBU re CF NDN?

OP posts:
NigellaAwesome · 21/02/2019 10:16

Holy moly! Discussed with DH this morning and he is in agreement. Either strict legal contract with clauses and escrow account, or just say no. A massive blood lorry has just pulled up and scaffolding is being unloaded ShockShockAngry

OP posts:
NigellaAwesome · 21/02/2019 10:17

Bloody

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 21/02/2019 10:21

Hope you’re straight out there telling them you do not give them permission for any of it to be on your property and that your gates are locked!

Montypontypine · 21/02/2019 10:21

The entitled fools! GG planned it ages ago but only sent the builder to see you yesterday!!! Don't let them unload on your drive

Ruru8thestars · 21/02/2019 10:21

Holy cow

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 21/02/2019 10:22

A no from me too ...

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 21/02/2019 10:24

Fuck just saw your update-would now be a hell no and get the fuck off my land!

longearedbat · 21/02/2019 10:24

I haven't rtft, but just wanted to say we had a chimney rebuilt using scaffolding. The chimney bit only took a couple of days, and they passed the bricks down - no chucking of masonry. The scaffolding was up for about 3 weeks though, as obviously its removal has to fit in with the scaffolders schedule.

Mumofaprinny · 21/02/2019 10:25

I would ask them to not enter you property as an arrangement hasn’t been put in place and I wouldn’t be allowing them on at all after that. Such cheeky fuckers. I hope this opens ur husbands eyes!

Weenurse · 21/02/2019 10:26

Good luck 💐

NigellaAwesome · 21/02/2019 10:27

I think he planned this for half term thinking we would be away, which we would have been but for unforeseen circumstances.

I've taken photos of the house and fence. DH has set up the camera to record. I'm not sure about saying anything directly to them unless they try to come on to our property.

DH working from home today, but he needs to nip out to drop me in to work.

OP posts:
whatsthecomingoverthehill · 21/02/2019 10:28

Tell the builders that if they enter your property without permission then you will be suing them for trespass.

pappajonessecretchild · 21/02/2019 10:31

i would be getting a taxi to work so that the property is not left without anyone in it today.

NigellaAwesome · 21/02/2019 10:32

AngryAngryAngry what a cheeky entitled fucker. No wonder the builder was being so pushy last night.

Looks like we're going to have to move our cars to protect them anyway. What do we do if the driveway gets covered in debris / mortar?

OP posts:
PalmTree101 · 21/02/2019 10:32

No way. You need to use your driveway so you can't have scaffolding on it. End of.

They will have to erect scaffolding in their back garden and work that way over.

HavelockVetinari · 21/02/2019 10:32

Oooh, the cheeky fuckers! Keep those gates locked.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/02/2019 10:33

I would be finding out what the builders plans are.

Because (and this will rile people) if they get gobby, I would ring the police as they are being intimidating.

PalmTree101 · 21/02/2019 10:33

Yeah take a taxi to work so DH can stay home.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/02/2019 10:34

What do we do if the driveway gets covered in debris / mortar?

Charge them for the clean up (and damage).

NigellaAwesome · 21/02/2019 10:34

Should we be speaking to our insurance / solicitor about ensuring they don't cause damage?

OP posts:
whatsthecomingoverthehill · 21/02/2019 10:37

I'm not sure it would be worth pre-emptively discussing anything. What I would do is take a shit ton of photographs so you have evidence if they do cause any damage.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/02/2019 10:38

Speaking to a solicitor to find out your actual legal rights is always good, your insurance will probably just tell you to claim off your neighbour.

Pinkyyy · 21/02/2019 10:39

Ahh see, now that changes things.

bellabasset · 21/02/2019 10:40

Speak to your insurer, and take legal advice. If scaffolders start trying to erect scaffolding then stop them by contacting the council building works.

TSSDNCOP · 21/02/2019 10:40

My ndn put up scaff for 3 weeks in May 2018.

It came down last Thursday.