NDN wants to use our driveway for building work - AIBU?

[NigellaAwesome]

Having quickly checked that the thread titled 'Twat Next Door' wasn't about us, I hoped to get hive mind views on our neighbour.

This might be long, but I don't want to drip-feed. For background, we have lived next to them for about 10 years. She's OK, but he is a complete knob. We call him Gobby Gordon. We've had a few issues over the years. The first was when one of their young relatives threw stones at our car repeatedly and caused substantial damage. When I told the wife what had happened, she was very apologetic and said she would pay. The dealer quoted £800 to repair, but I got a contact to do it at knockdown price for £120 + vat. However when I went round a couple of weeks later to let her know how much it would be, the husband arrived round later ranting and raving and threw a cheque at us for £120 but giving off severely. We were a bit about it, especially since he drove a Maserati and I doubt he would have appreciated the same being done to his car. That somewhat set the tone, but we have pretty much ignored each other over the years, with a couple of exceptions.

Our driveway is between the two houses, and beyond our fence they have about a metre passageway before their gable wall. A number of years ago I arrived home to find a workman on ladders in our driveway doing work on their chimney. They hadn't let us know, and I was shocked to find him there because we have electric gates and he must have climbed over the gates / fence to get in. I almost knocked him off the ladder because I was reversing in and only saw him at the last minute. When I asked what he was doing on my property he was really abusive. He refused to leave, and police were called and I think there was some sort of warning given. Gobby Gordon gave off to my DH about it afterwards, calling us crap neighbours. When we pointed out that he hadn't had the courtesy to ask us beforehand, he said that the workman had rung our doorbell but there had been no answer (no shit Sherlock, we were out).

A few months later I saw the wife and we had a chat. She was ok, and I explained that whilst we were happy in principle with access being given, it needed to be by prior arrangement, and with one of them - not a random builder, talking to us beforehand. This has been the case since for the last few years, and we have provided access on about 3 occasions since then. The wife has always called with us, provided details of the builder, and everything has been fine with minimal disruption.

Last week we were out and we got a call from the gates (gates connect to our phone when they are called). It was a builder asking to get onto our property to look at doing some work. We were out, had no idea what he was talking about, and said it wasn't really convenient. We didn't hear anything more.

This evening we were out again, and got a call from the gates. It was a builder asking if he could speak with us. We were out, but coming back in 15 minutes, so I said if he could hang on we would chat with him. When we got back home, he was waiting for us. He knew our names, and knew a lot about us including what we do for a living (which I'm not very happy about).

The builder said he wanted access to our driveway to build scaffolding on it to rebuild the neighbour's chimney. I was pretty pissed off that I was having this conversation directly with him, and that neither of the neighbours had spoken to us about it. When I told him this, he said that he had never even met the wife, only Gobby Gordon. He told Gordon last week that he needed to speak to us about access, but Gordon hasn't bothered his arse.

When I asked about what needed to be done, he said it would be scaffolded for 7 to 10 days (so realistically likely to be 3 weeks). Our driveway will be out of action for that time, and we have 2 cars that can't be parked outside on the busy road. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of bricks being brought up and down scaffolding which could land on our driveway, our pets, or our children. I'm going through quite a stressful time in work at the moment, and I also have professional exams coming up, so really could do without 3 weeks of building work. There's more, which would be a bit outing, but it was clear from what the builder said that Gobby Gordon had discussed a lot of private information about us - information that we didn't even know that Gordon knew, so that has really, really pissed me off. The builder also laid it on really thick that he had travelled a very long way to discuss this with us. The conversation ended with me telling the builder that I was sorry for his inconvenience, but this was an issue for the neighbours to speak to us directly about, not him, and the neighbours knew the score before they sent him round to discuss it with us. DH feels a bit sorry for the builder, but I just think this is Gobby Gordon being a cheeky fucker and sending the builder round to lay it on thick rather than having the manners to speak to us directly.

This is more a WWYD rather than AIBU. MN WWYD & AIBU re CF NDN?

@beautyguru There is a thing down the bottom in between the last post and the box where you write your post that says 'Watch this thread'. You click on that and it will automatically add it the threads you are following. Without having to even post a message.

I thought by law you had to allow access. We have a similar set up and we were told if the neighbours property needs work we had to allow it.

I've been in a very similar situation.
This is a tricky one though. I gave access for my twatty neighbours (they like me though.. i think) to fix their chimney.
It pissed me off though cause they got the builder to ask and after they took the scaffolding down from my properly their was a lot of damage to my roof. I wasnt told about it until i saw it for myself!
I certainly would never allow them to work from my property again, and thinking about it now, they could have just used the neighbours back garden for the scaffolding.

The only problem is, our legal documents state that if the neighbours have any work that needs doing to their property, with notice, we have to allow it. Although if there is another way of them sorting it (Even if it is harder) you could probably fight that.

Good luck.
Also gordon sounds like a complete bell hard chap to live with, does his partner even like him

No, allowing ladder access is one thing but blocking your drive is not acceptable. Write to the neighbours and say this - unless they are providing secure parking for both your cars of course. I suspect the builder has told them that he needs access but there's always another way of doing jobs

Glad you stood your ground op. Gordon hopefully understands now that you’re not complete doormats.

Sorry but you sound a bit childish and petty and not very good neighbours yourself.why does it matter that it’s the builder speaking to you and not the person you call Gobby Gordon I mean would you want to speak to a neighbour that calls you names? I agree the inconvenience side of things but the rest is just silly. I mean what kind of personal information would a builder be discussing with you that you would care about him knowing? I’m sorry and properly will get pelted with bricks but I would just let them do it for the sake of just being a kind human being. No financial penalties to your neighbours. I would ask to see the builders public liability and 3rd party damage insurance first to make sure he’s covered for any damage and then if any damage occurs you can claim if him directly.

They can put the scaffolding on his property and then build a platform on the roof to work from. They only want to use your drive because it's easier.... If it was a terraced house they'd have to put scaffolding at the front or back and create a platform like our neighbours did so they don't actually need to come on your property however make sure they put up netting etc to stop any bricks fling onto your property

Sorry if this has been suggested already but they can use a cherry picker to do the work. Then it can be parked on their property. We had thus for a particularly inaccessible chimney stack.

No, it's not childish & petty at all.

There has been a very clear agreement in the past that if they want to do work, then one of them has to come and speak to us personally beforehand. The wife has done this, and we have allowed access. This was due to the behaviour of one of their workmen before.

I don't want to be doorstepped by random builders who are deploying pushy sales tactics. He seemed to think that by discussing people who would be in the same line of work as me, I would somehow be impressed. All it showed was that my neighbour was sharing personal details about me and made me even less inclined to allow it. I'm not going to go into it here, but I have very valid reasons for not being happy about this.

The fact was that DH and I had discussed it and come to the conclusion that we would probably be prepared to agree to it if we had our own solicitor look at it, along with a surveyor, and a properly drawn up agreement about safety measures, length of time, commitment to repair damage, alternative plans for parking. But the builder rocked up with his scaffolding the next morning anyway, trying to take any choice out of it.

So no, not childish & petty at all. And no, the neighbour probably doesn't want to speak to us because he knows he has been a dick in the past and we have had our property damaged by his visitors and contractors. But it's his property that needs repaired, so his responsibility to speak to us well beforehand if he wants to scaffold on ours. In any event, they appear to have found a way of doing it without recourse to using our land.

with that kind of neighbour you have to be always careful. such a shame, always stress.
it hasnt finished yet as you see. God knows what he will do next to push the boundries.

I’m only on page 4 so this might already have been discussed.

I imagine GG wanted his wife to pop round as usual but she refused as this is a massive ask. She’s probably sick of him too.

He’s too much of an arse to ask so they took the cowards way out and asked the builder to drop the bombshell!

Think I feel sorry for his wife.

i wouldnt allow him to build scaffolding going over your boundry up in the air.
i think you should speak to your insurer.

Love your post Jaspermcsween. I totally agree. Just because GG is being unreasonable doesn’t mean you can’t do the right thing OP. Allow it but get them to agree to you parking on their driveway while the work is being carried out. Find the best solution.
Interesting that no one has responded to OPs appeal for info about making the job less potentially dangerous. Surely someone must know?! We are living in times where people just like to argue with each other. How about trying to live in peace?

I’d allow it but with conditions that suit you.

I’d allow it for long suffering wife of GG. Pretend you’re doing it for her.

Can you speak to wife while arsehole is out?

Big fan of people replying to the first post and not considering that in 16 pages:

a) someone might have made that point already and

b) the OP might have updated.

" In any event, they appear to have found a way of doing it without recourse to using our land."

Which surely is what most people would do?

You'd only be asking a neighbour as a last resort, wouldn't you?

I have just checked on the internet and it seems that legally your NDN has the right to put scaffolding on your driveway if it is to carryout essential repairs to his property.

Shirley has the interweb also told you that they need to apply to a court, and pay for the landowner's legal and surveying fees?

OP has cancelled the cheque.

Am confused do you share a driveway or does your house have the driveway and they have a
passagway?

READ THE FULL THREAD! It's been resolved. OP has updated. The cheque has been cancelled🙄

Well do keep us updated on whats actually happening as if this was just a chimmey leaking a bit of water 'cos of a missing flashing then thats a relativly simple job that could be done with a couple of roof "crawler" ladders.

My betting is that they the builder are making a bigger job of it then whats necessary! unless there is another agenda or project on the go there!.

Will do. Thanks so much everyone for all the advice. I wouldn't have known what to say to GG without all of your input.

DH told me today he is so proud of how I calmly put GG in his place.

I'm not sure that we can keep up the working from home to supervise though!

I checked on the internet and it seems the world is flat.

Cancel the cheque!