Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

NDN wants to use our driveway for building work - AIBU?

563 replies

NigellaAwesome · 20/02/2019 21:12

Having quickly checked that the thread titled 'Twat Next Door' wasn't about us, I hoped to get hive mind views on our neighbour.

This might be long, but I don't want to drip-feed. For background, we have lived next to them for about 10 years. She's OK, but he is a complete knob. We call him Gobby Gordon. We've had a few issues over the years. The first was when one of their young relatives threw stones at our car repeatedly and caused substantial damage. When I told the wife what had happened, she was very apologetic and said she would pay. The dealer quoted £800 to repair, but I got a contact to do it at knockdown price for £120 + vat. However when I went round a couple of weeks later to let her know how much it would be, the husband arrived round later ranting and raving and threw a cheque at us for £120 but giving off severely. We were a bit Hmm about it, especially since he drove a Maserati and I doubt he would have appreciated the same being done to his car. That somewhat set the tone, but we have pretty much ignored each other over the years, with a couple of exceptions.

Our driveway is between the two houses, and beyond our fence they have about a metre passageway before their gable wall. A number of years ago I arrived home to find a workman on ladders in our driveway doing work on their chimney. They hadn't let us know, and I was shocked to find him there because we have electric gates and he must have climbed over the gates / fence to get in. I almost knocked him off the ladder because I was reversing in and only saw him at the last minute. When I asked what he was doing on my property he was really abusive. He refused to leave, and police were called and I think there was some sort of warning given. Gobby Gordon gave off to my DH about it afterwards, calling us crap neighbours. When we pointed out that he hadn't had the courtesy to ask us beforehand, he said that the workman had rung our doorbell but there had been no answer (no shit Sherlock, we were out).

A few months later I saw the wife and we had a chat. She was ok, and I explained that whilst we were happy in principle with access being given, it needed to be by prior arrangement, and with one of them - not a random builder, talking to us beforehand. This has been the case since for the last few years, and we have provided access on about 3 occasions since then. The wife has always called with us, provided details of the builder, and everything has been fine with minimal disruption.

Last week we were out and we got a call from the gates (gates connect to our phone when they are called). It was a builder asking to get onto our property to look at doing some work. We were out, had no idea what he was talking about, and said it wasn't really convenient. We didn't hear anything more.

This evening we were out again, and got a call from the gates. It was a builder asking if he could speak with us. We were out, but coming back in 15 minutes, so I said if he could hang on we would chat with him. When we got back home, he was waiting for us. He knew our names, and knew a lot about us including what we do for a living (which I'm not very happy about).

The builder said he wanted access to our driveway to build scaffolding on it to rebuild the neighbour's chimney. I was pretty pissed off that I was having this conversation directly with him, and that neither of the neighbours had spoken to us about it. When I told him this, he said that he had never even met the wife, only Gobby Gordon. He told Gordon last week that he needed to speak to us about access, but Gordon hasn't bothered his arse.

When I asked about what needed to be done, he said it would be scaffolded for 7 to 10 days (so realistically likely to be 3 weeks). Our driveway will be out of action for that time, and we have 2 cars that can't be parked outside on the busy road. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of bricks being brought up and down scaffolding which could land on our driveway, our pets, or our children. I'm going through quite a stressful time in work at the moment, and I also have professional exams coming up, so really could do without 3 weeks of building work. There's more, which would be a bit outing, but it was clear from what the builder said that Gobby Gordon had discussed a lot of private information about us - information that we didn't even know that Gordon knew, so that has really, really pissed me off. The builder also laid it on really thick that he had travelled a very long way to discuss this with us. The conversation ended with me telling the builder that I was sorry for his inconvenience, but this was an issue for the neighbours to speak to us directly about, not him, and the neighbours knew the score before they sent him round to discuss it with us. DH feels a bit sorry for the builder, but I just think this is Gobby Gordon being a cheeky fucker and sending the builder round to lay it on thick rather than having the manners to speak to us directly.

This is more a WWYD rather than AIBU. MN WWYD & AIBU re CF NDN?

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 21/02/2019 19:18

I don't think the OP was objecting to a simple handshake but to the hard sell she got from the builder to try and convince her to do GG's bidding. The handshake is just a tiny part of the builder trying to set the scene for their conversation - making it seem like meeting of equals where she is obliged to consider his point of view, instead of the cap in hand type request it really was.

cstaff · 21/02/2019 20:33

Nicely played OP. They know who and what they are dealing with now. Take no more crap from these assholes.

FuerzaAreaUruguay · 21/02/2019 20:44

instead of the cap in hand type request it really was.

Or the bullshit it obviously was because he'd already agreed with GG to put scaffolding on a property knowing they didn't have permission.

winobaglady · 21/02/2019 20:59

Not RTFT yet and unsure if already mentioned.
Check your car insurance too. If they are insured as kept on the drive overnight you might have problems if something happens when they are on the road.

macaroniandpizza · 21/02/2019 21:01

Tell big gobby gordon to get to fuck and leave you and dh alone

MumUnderTheMoon · 21/02/2019 21:12

Could you ask the contractor who did your work to come out and have a look at things and tell you if it can really only be done from your property? That way, if there is an alternative you can point it out to them. Sounds a bit intrusive and no one can guarantee how long building work will take.

TheDHand · 21/02/2019 21:30

Google the Access to Neighbouring Land Act 1992 should you need any more ammunition. GG can get access to your land to carry out necessary maintenance (ie not home improvements) but only if it would be impossible or substantially more difficult to do the work without the access. “Cheaper for GG” is not one of the criteria!

There are also a lot of provisions in the Act for obtaining schedules of condition, surveying before the work is done, providing specific time limits within which the work is done and, importantly, compensation for the inconvenience. In other words GG would have to spend a lot of legal costs and pay for the privilege of keeping you off your drive for a few weeks.

Worth pointing out should he ever want to pull this trick again. Tell him he has to make an application under the Act and show him all the hoops he has to jump through!

Rachel0Greep · 21/02/2019 21:41

The builder said he wanted access to our driveway to build scaffolding on it to rebuild the neighbour's chimney.

Just like that eh... Hmm

Well done OP. I would be watching them like a hawk still.

DoJo · 21/02/2019 22:56

Good result OP, but...

...are you all really talking about erection plans without even the slightest hint of a snigger?! Shock Blush

Justaboy · 21/02/2019 23:12

Intresting drawing that a few pages back don't know how i missed it! But that really shouldnt be a problem there, the main issue is supporting the scaff to the wall where the stack is, the weight downforce isnt a problem neither is it towards the gable wall and neither to the front back or left right the only problem is towards your land they could either build some scaff around the side so the weight of that will stablise it or put a few bolts through thier wall with a spreader plate that wouold take a very large force to pull out.

They need to be able to work around the stack and one meter around that is ample space. Really don't know what all the fuss has been about from an engineering POV.

I also doubt the extra scaff would be that much anyway, either the builder is trying it on with GG or perhaps GG is more stupid that what you make him out to be!

Do suspect that he was given a quote by builder (who assumed that you would not mind the scaff going over to your side) and the building works were all in the same quote then you objected and builder said "that'd cost you more mate" perhaps more that what it might have done anyway on the scale of the job.

PengAly · 22/02/2019 08:29

...are you all really talking about erection plans without even the slightest hint of a snigger?! shock blush

Don't worry, I had a giggle at that but was disappointed that nobody else seemed to! Blush

TheMaddHugger · 22/02/2019 10:14

DoJo I smirked but then I have a juvenile sense of humour

Justaboy · 22/02/2019 11:48

The more I think about this the more I think that GG is being ripped off. Very odd this "damp" issue. I've got a collection of houses from around mid victorian to mid sixites and none of them have this problem. You normally have a lead flashing and lead lasts for a very long time.

Can't see why if it is damp, and i doubt that would be that much of a problem, its all got to be rebuilt seems unless there is some other problem/s not mentioned about or their up to something else.

Or Mr Builder is pulling a fast one.

All very odd IHMO!

Canuckduck · 22/02/2019 17:41

I agree with your husband. If it needs to be done and could potentially be unsafe then you should allow it. If it weakens it could fall in a heavy wind etc. I’d do it when you were away and didn’t have to worry about personal safety/ parking. Realistically you aren’t likely going to be there to ‘supervise’. I would get a written contract that any damage is their responsibility.

Mol5 · 22/02/2019 17:46

Hi OP - we have a family scaffolding firm. There are alternative means to accessing a chimney tower without access from the ground up beside the gable end. YANBU to refuse and they can spend more money to organise a scaff tower from within their own boundaries.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/02/2019 17:48

a lot of rubble dropped down into the garden, much to the amusement of our puppy who was then constantly asking to go out into the garden so that he could bring the rubble in to the house (he's always loved stones!!)

Spaniel?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/02/2019 17:51

DH has said he doesn't know why I'm asking here as MN is a bunch of vipers who don't care if we get on with our neighbours

he knows us too well . . . Grin

achapman · 22/02/2019 17:55

I would also check the position with insurance. Your insurers may not be happy with this without an additional payment.

Loreleigh · 22/02/2019 17:56

If I was good friends with the neighbours I would try to find a way to keep everyone happy, but under the circumstances you have described I would tell them they were CF big style and could fuck right off. I wouldn't be happy with neighbours discussing my personal details with any ol' builders/strangers either - damned cheek. I don't think you are being unreasonable wanting to be able to park on your own drive, to keep your kids & pets safe, to not have noise, disturbances, invasion of privacy etc for someone else's building work. IF you were prepared to play ball at all with them, I would consider charging them any parking fees, inconvenience money, rent on the space their scaffolding etc takes up and anything else you can think of. If they can afford to call strange builders in from a long way away they can afford to stump up for any costs to you - and have a written agreement/contract to make sure they would be liable for any damage caused to your property, cars or personal injury insurance if the builders are careless/irresponsible. Sounds like it would be easier and a lot less complicated to tell them to fuck off - good luck, lol!

Vintagewannabe · 22/02/2019 18:10

Op of the thread twat face next door if this was twat face next door I’d laugh whilst I said no! If it was my other neighbour I’d talk to her and expect the loan of her drive for the duration i would probs say yes if I could park safe. Pays to be nice to your neighbours lol

cassie2and2 · 22/02/2019 18:38

We once had neighbors like that, they just take the p--s and don't give a damn about a good neighborly relationship.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 22/02/2019 18:39

Don't worry, I had a giggle at that but was disappointed that nobody else seemed to! Blush

You really had to lower the tone, didn't you PengAly

Justaboy · 22/02/2019 18:44

Can the OP say as best shes know just how old their house is i still find it difficult to see why the chimmery stack needs so much worr doing on it unless its some hundreds of years olde?.

eddielizzard · 22/02/2019 18:44

Late to thread. What an arsehole, but well done for standing your ground. Bloody brilliant!

NigellaAwesome · 22/02/2019 18:45

All quiet today. Scaffolding is up, large plates drilled into his wall and netting (of a sort) put up. There was about an hour's work this morning, then nada. A lot of standing around in the garden between GG and the builder looking at the chimney.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread