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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

NDN wants to use our driveway for building work - AIBU?

563 replies

NigellaAwesome · 20/02/2019 21:12

Having quickly checked that the thread titled 'Twat Next Door' wasn't about us, I hoped to get hive mind views on our neighbour.

This might be long, but I don't want to drip-feed. For background, we have lived next to them for about 10 years. She's OK, but he is a complete knob. We call him Gobby Gordon. We've had a few issues over the years. The first was when one of their young relatives threw stones at our car repeatedly and caused substantial damage. When I told the wife what had happened, she was very apologetic and said she would pay. The dealer quoted £800 to repair, but I got a contact to do it at knockdown price for £120 + vat. However when I went round a couple of weeks later to let her know how much it would be, the husband arrived round later ranting and raving and threw a cheque at us for £120 but giving off severely. We were a bit Hmm about it, especially since he drove a Maserati and I doubt he would have appreciated the same being done to his car. That somewhat set the tone, but we have pretty much ignored each other over the years, with a couple of exceptions.

Our driveway is between the two houses, and beyond our fence they have about a metre passageway before their gable wall. A number of years ago I arrived home to find a workman on ladders in our driveway doing work on their chimney. They hadn't let us know, and I was shocked to find him there because we have electric gates and he must have climbed over the gates / fence to get in. I almost knocked him off the ladder because I was reversing in and only saw him at the last minute. When I asked what he was doing on my property he was really abusive. He refused to leave, and police were called and I think there was some sort of warning given. Gobby Gordon gave off to my DH about it afterwards, calling us crap neighbours. When we pointed out that he hadn't had the courtesy to ask us beforehand, he said that the workman had rung our doorbell but there had been no answer (no shit Sherlock, we were out).

A few months later I saw the wife and we had a chat. She was ok, and I explained that whilst we were happy in principle with access being given, it needed to be by prior arrangement, and with one of them - not a random builder, talking to us beforehand. This has been the case since for the last few years, and we have provided access on about 3 occasions since then. The wife has always called with us, provided details of the builder, and everything has been fine with minimal disruption.

Last week we were out and we got a call from the gates (gates connect to our phone when they are called). It was a builder asking to get onto our property to look at doing some work. We were out, had no idea what he was talking about, and said it wasn't really convenient. We didn't hear anything more.

This evening we were out again, and got a call from the gates. It was a builder asking if he could speak with us. We were out, but coming back in 15 minutes, so I said if he could hang on we would chat with him. When we got back home, he was waiting for us. He knew our names, and knew a lot about us including what we do for a living (which I'm not very happy about).

The builder said he wanted access to our driveway to build scaffolding on it to rebuild the neighbour's chimney. I was pretty pissed off that I was having this conversation directly with him, and that neither of the neighbours had spoken to us about it. When I told him this, he said that he had never even met the wife, only Gobby Gordon. He told Gordon last week that he needed to speak to us about access, but Gordon hasn't bothered his arse.

When I asked about what needed to be done, he said it would be scaffolded for 7 to 10 days (so realistically likely to be 3 weeks). Our driveway will be out of action for that time, and we have 2 cars that can't be parked outside on the busy road. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of bricks being brought up and down scaffolding which could land on our driveway, our pets, or our children. I'm going through quite a stressful time in work at the moment, and I also have professional exams coming up, so really could do without 3 weeks of building work. There's more, which would be a bit outing, but it was clear from what the builder said that Gobby Gordon had discussed a lot of private information about us - information that we didn't even know that Gordon knew, so that has really, really pissed me off. The builder also laid it on really thick that he had travelled a very long way to discuss this with us. The conversation ended with me telling the builder that I was sorry for his inconvenience, but this was an issue for the neighbours to speak to us directly about, not him, and the neighbours knew the score before they sent him round to discuss it with us. DH feels a bit sorry for the builder, but I just think this is Gobby Gordon being a cheeky fucker and sending the builder round to lay it on thick rather than having the manners to speak to us directly.

This is more a WWYD rather than AIBU. MN WWYD & AIBU re CF NDN?

OP posts:
spiderlight · 21/02/2019 13:53

Result!! I knew there'd be another way if you stuck to your guns. Maybe relations will improve if they realise they've been unreasonable and that you won't let them shit all over you.

Poloshot · 21/02/2019 13:58

As if by magic. So they were happy to inconvenience you loads to save what's probably a small amount of £

HeyNannyNanny · 21/02/2019 13:58

GG has just been round to speak to DH

Conveniently not you, but your husband who was silent during the previous conversation. Sly bastard.

FuerzaAreaUruguay · 21/02/2019 14:06

GG is a cunt.

Babynut1 · 21/02/2019 14:06

I would do it on the agreement that he parks his cars on the street and let’s you park yours in his drive 😁

AcrossthePond55 · 21/02/2019 14:06

It's usually always worth standing your ground.

Well done!

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 21/02/2019 14:09

Funny how they’ve suddenly found a way to work around your property now, isn’t it?

Hmm

CF.

diddl · 21/02/2019 14:10

"They've found a way to do the work without recourse to our property and are getting additional scaffolding delivered."

Well who would've predicted that??!!

Fairenuff · 21/02/2019 14:21

Yep, as predicted.

Glad you didn't give in to the CF.

DarlingNikita · 21/02/2019 14:21

GG has just been round to speak to DH.
Why not you?

They've found a way to do the work without recourse to our property and are getting additional scaffolding delivered. They are putting up netting, but have said there will be a lot of dust. Builder has agreed to clear up the driveway if there is any mess.
I'd need this all in writing before agreeing to anything. And would have a solicitor look at it.

StealthPolarBear · 21/02/2019 14:25

But how much would you pay for a solicitor to look at it? Same for all the other comments about having a surveyor or builder come and look at various aspects.

peridito · 21/02/2019 14:30

Oh well done OP and thank you so much for updating !

I,'m generally in the "be the bigger person " camp but it's not appropriate with ppl like this .

He's obv a scheming so and so ,and his builders sound as tho they're with him .So don't relax ( sorry ) .I agree about parking issues with builders vans ...can you do anything to stop yourself getting blocked in ?

I always turn to these 2 sites for legal advice

www.lemonfool.co.uk/viewforum.php?f=2&sid=7cf68c57fe68781900407cb2be5dd2fe

and forums.landlordzone.co.uk/forum/planning-development-questions

NigellaAwesome · 21/02/2019 14:31

DarlingNikita He spoke to DH as I am at work working very very hard and DH is at home. I suspect GG was quite surprised to find us both at home when the builder rocked up at 10.00.

OP posts:
woolduvet · 21/02/2019 14:38

Were they just planning on jumping the fence?

peridito · 21/02/2019 14:40

I wonder how he knows stuff about you OP ? Could he have somehow got access to your wifi or something ...???

RandomMess · 21/02/2019 14:44

Funny have they've managed to find a way around it, will just cost them
Extra Wink

YoghurtTopper · 21/02/2019 14:45

You are so lucky you were at home.

DarlingNikita · 21/02/2019 14:51

I see, OP.

Stealth, yes, it's a cost and a nuisance, but possibly worth the investment for peace of mind, given the conduct of the neighbour and builders so far.

peridito, I was wondering about that too. How on earth do they know so much about the OP and her household?

NigellaAwesome · 21/02/2019 14:57

I suspect it has a lot to do with our lovely but indiscreet elderly neighbour on the other side of GG.

OP posts:
Jaspermcsween · 21/02/2019 16:00

Objecting to a handshake is a bit daft Smile

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/02/2019 16:04

So this palaver was all to save maybe £400 in additional scaffolding. Ffs.

Mummyoflittledragon · 21/02/2019 16:06

I don’t think objecting to a handshake is daft. Handshakes indicate some kind of relationship. He is nothing to op.

Jux · 21/02/2019 16:14

Scaffolding is bloody expensive so I can understand ndn wanting to save on it. He went the wrong way about it, though he could just prest you with a fait accompli when the bullying builder failed.

I'm so glad he failed too. CF's like him need to be on the losing side. Life lesson for him there. Do you think he'll learn it? Wink

PengAly · 21/02/2019 16:26

Handshakes indicate some kind of relationship.

Handshakes are customary when meeting someone new too. Builder was following that custom- why is that wrong of him? Confused

Op, well done on a good result! How frustrating that CF neighbour put you through the stress though, maybe this has put him in his place a bit

DishingOutDone · 21/02/2019 18:51

OP have you come home yet and found GG has annexed your utility room and has your DH chained in his cellar, or something like that? I mean its dark now the builders could be lying in wait ....