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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To dress young daughters the same

318 replies

Theorangeorange · 20/02/2019 15:10

I have two young daughters (2 & 4) and I love dressing them in matching clothes - for reference they both love it too and get excited when they have the same on. I would stop when they don't enjoy it of course.

It's not every day, but for occasions they'll usually have the same on, perhaps in a different colour but matching.

I haven't ever given it a second thought until someone asked me whether I was concerned about them "not developing their own individuality" I wasn't!! Though I'm interested to hear thoughts......

OP posts:

Thread gallery

MyNewBearTotoro · 20/02/2019 19:30

I used to love being dressed the same as my sisters, we had lots of sets of clothes the same but in different colours and a few identical outfits.

One of my favourite memories was wearing a dress where all three of us had identical plus my Mum had the dress in the same pattern. My Mum hated it (the dresses were made by a grandparent) but my sisters and I would beg her to wear it and occasionally she would.

I sometimes dress my 2yo DTs the same and 5yo DD has a couple of dresses the same as theirs. For a special occasion I think it looks cute! Obviously If your DC ever express that they don’t want to wear the same don’t force them but if they’re happy with it I think it’s fine.

Onceuponacheesecake · 20/02/2019 19:35

I think it looks really daft. But if your kids enjoy it then I wouldn't let that stop you

katycb · 20/02/2019 19:36

I have identical twins and I never dress them the same as I think it looks a bit odd. I'm not 100% sure why though!

MynameisJune · 20/02/2019 20:11

Why not have them look cute? I want my girls to succeed because they girls, not in spite of being girls. So much now I see people put about the opinion that girls shouldn’t look nice, that we shouldn’t care about our appearance. It should all be about what we can do. To me we should be able to do both. I love clothes, shoes and make up. I’m also a professional with a good career. Being interested in one doesn’t mean I can’t be the other.

My girls will be, and are being, taught that they can be proud of how they look and still be doing ‘practical’ things.

And DD has jeans (she hates them) but actually they are practical and warmer than leggings or tights. So why people are so against jeans for kids but advocating practical clothing I don’t know.

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 20/02/2019 20:16

Have a boy and girl and do it occasionally. I think it’s adorable. And useful when looking after them in big crowds.

Obviously I wouldn’t insist on it as they get older and develop opinions of their own!

Cheby · 20/02/2019 20:19

I’ve 2 DDs, ages 5 and 1. Dress them the same occasionally. At the moment the both love it. I always ask them when I buy anything matching whether they are ok with it and each time i choose those outfits for them to wear. Eldest often requests that they dress the same. As soon as they don’t want to I’ll stop. But it makes them happy and they look fucking adorable, and absolutely not naff, thank you very much!

Seline · 20/02/2019 20:23

Jeans are fine for kids when they're soft. Lots of denim is hard. I don't wear it myself.

PodgeBod · 20/02/2019 20:52

My DDs are also 2&4 and I dress them the same, despite swearing I never would before I had them. The older one likes it, the younger one doesnt care. And most importantly, I walk into a shop and only have to find one t-shirt I like, or one dress and just buy two of them. If they didn't like it, I would stop but so far they have shown no interest in what they wear, apart from liking TV characters.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 20/02/2019 21:26

I think of the Turpin family too.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 20/02/2019 21:31

I can see the point when it's special occasions etc. School's do it when out on visits too. Every day though is a bit much.

Oysterbabe · 20/02/2019 21:36

Mine are 1 and 3 and a boy and a girl. They sometimes wear the same t-shirt or hoody. The 3 year old loves it and the 1 year old doesn't give a shit. We probably won't do it for much longer but I don't see the harm.

blindsighted · 20/02/2019 21:37

I think it's cute, and if you think it's cute, who cares what other people think?

Original poster

Theorangeorange · 20/02/2019 21:44

I'd rather be judged (by some) for dressing my girls the same than be judged for my children looking like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards (usually when the parents are immaculately turned out) whether the children are just showing their individuality or not........

OP posts:

CherryPavlova · 20/02/2019 21:49

It’s your choice but I think its ghastly.

Original poster

Theorangeorange · 20/02/2019 21:55

@CherryPavlova What specifically is?

OP posts:

CherryPavlova · 20/02/2019 22:05

The rather twee and cutesy idea of matching outfits for two individuals. A bit like dressing dogs in silly t shirts or socks with frills on. It’s your choice and not a big deal but I’d certainly judge those I saw dressing children identically. I’d put it in the same category as “designer” trainers for babies, hairbands in babies and little boys with shaved sections of hair.

newnameforthis7 · 20/02/2019 22:08

I agree OP. There's nothing wrong with it. It does actually look OK.

And all the people saying it looks naff, stupid, chavvy, ghastly etc, are not only being very rude, but they don't seem to be coming up with a single valid reason why. All they are churning out is rude and obnoxious opinions.

And I have never dressed mine the same btw, coz I have a boy and a girl. But I think it looks fine, and as long as the kids are OK with it, I don't see anything wrong with it. There is some frightful snobbery on this thread, and some very rude comments.

BackforGood · 20/02/2019 22:14

I would quite honestly judge you if I saw you walking past in the street with two identically dressed little girls - it would seem very naff, and a bit like playing dolls.

This ^
As others have said - your dc, so up to you, but I think it is a shame when dc seem to be being used as accessories.

Whathappenedtothelego · 20/02/2019 22:17

My children love dressing the same and often go out of their way to look as similar as they can.
I don't tend to buy them the same clothes (actually I get lots of their clothes from charity shops) but they often try to match colours and styles if they are feeling in the mood for it.
They do have the same coats in different colours, maybe people think that is naff, but it was just easier to buy two than look for different ones that were the same price.

smartipants · 20/02/2019 22:24

Nooo...... step away, its terrifying........ way too contrived..... too stepford wives.

eddiemairswife · 20/02/2019 22:26

I never did, but my younger daughter used to look forward to wearing some of her sister's clothes when they had been grown out of.

small2018 · 20/02/2019 22:27

Ah I think it's cute!!

2019willbegreat · 20/02/2019 22:34

I wouldn't chose to do this but when they are young it can avoid arguments about one thinking the other's clothes are better (although please don't give the younger one hand me downs of the same outfit!).

What i find really chavvy is the new phenomenon of matching outfits for mums and DDs and the Insta pics at Xmas with whole families wearing the same jammys! When did this hideousness become a thing??

Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 20/02/2019 22:42

I think a lot of people have been way over the top with their answers... ‘using your children as accessories’ really?

All clothes is chosen by adults and i don’t know about anyone else but when choosing what to put my kids in that day i don’t think “hmm what best reflects their personality and individual thinking” 🙄

You put your kids in clothes you as the parent like not what suits THIER personally unless it’s a dino too and they loves dinosaurs etc. I have put my kids (boy and girl) in matching coats or joggers for the park.

I DO think it’s cute when i see them matching and as long as the children enjoy it and haven’t expressed a wish to stop i can’t see any issue AT ALL.

NunoGoncalves · 20/02/2019 23:15

Mumsnet users in "over the top reaction" shocker.

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