To dress young daughters the same

[Theorangeorange]

I have two young daughters (2 & 4) and I love dressing them in matching clothes - for reference they both love it too and get excited when they have the same on. I would stop when they don't enjoy it of course.

It's not every day, but for occasions they'll usually have the same on, perhaps in a different colour but matching.

I haven't ever given it a second thought until someone asked me whether I was concerned about them "not developing their own individuality" I wasn't!! Though I'm interested to hear thoughts......

[UndertheCedartree]

I have a boy and girl and they sometimes still dress the same (matching penguin onsies) and they are 6 and 11! Obviously completely their own choice!

When they were younger I would sometimes dress them matching - for example both in skinny jeans - red hoodie (girls had some flowers on) and blue body warmer (girls had spots on) - just for fun. I had a couple of other matching but not identical outfits. As long as all concerned are happy I don't care what anyone else thinks! They looked cute!

[usernamerisnotavailable]

Sorry but agree. Really naff.

[CleanAndPaidFor]

To the PP who described this as "chavvy", that comment says far worse about you than it does the OP.

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

Personally, I don't like it. But I know it's just my personal opinion. I don't judge anyone who does (except, possibly, a cousin whose daughters would go to church as young teens in matching clothes, and I don't think it was their choice).

However, so long as both / all children are happy with the decision, and are able to tell you if you're not, then there's nothing actually wrong with it.

But do make sure they are both happy. Maybe ask them from time to time, when they're on their own, and make it clear that you'll stop if they're unhappy (and if one is unhappy, and the other not, you'll ensure that they're not in the same clothes).

If there were less of an age gap between my sister and I I'm sure she'd have loved for us to be dressed the same. Even now she makes a thing of us being the 'Change' sisters, whilst I cringe and am thinking about changing my surname. I remember years ago our uncle sending us both Valentine's Day cards, and making sure he sent us the same even though we were hundreds of miles apart. She would have moaned if we'd got different. I hated the fact that I wasn't allowed to be seen as being my own person. He could have bought me a far cheaper one and I'd have been happier.

So just as long as they are both happy with it then go ahead. But just make sure they are.

[frothysloth]

I must just live in my particular middle class south east bubble then as haven’t seen this occur. My sister went off hell bent on making sure she was nothing like me as soon as we could be the individuals we wanted to be.

The way I see it as is there’s no negatives with treating your children as individual beings and dressing them separately and there are negatives in relation to dressing them the same when they realise other dc are not doing this. I know which one I would choose.

[LazyLizzy]

As long as they both like it then I wouldn't let it worry you.

Going by my own personal experience, child in the 70s, I hated it.
I was 2 yrs younger. I felt a right tit in the same dress as my older sister.

It's got much more to do with the parenting! This I disagree with.
There is nothing my DM could have done to make me dress the same. (PS love my sister).

[NunoGoncalves]

What's scandi style?

[Lalalalalalalalaland]

Im a middle class scandi hipster apparently.

Though im working class.

My kids have that moromini space print onestepsideways dresses for the girls and a top for my son.

I love it and they love it so i will continue

[findingmyfeet12]

Hold I totally agree with everything you've said.

Quite a few of my middle class hipster friends like to dress their children in matching Scandi style outfits/prints.

When we were dressed alike as children it was more in the working class sense (also an Indian thing to dress children in matching homemade outfits).

It can look quite cute imo but I'm not really into children being dressed up in bows and frills at all.

[ThanksForAllTheFish]

I don’t have a sister (just an older brother) but I do have a younger cousin and I loved it when we were dressed the same. My gran was fond of buying us both the same outfits. Not that we were ever dressed the same on purpose but sometimes it would work out that way.

I also went to a non uniform primary school and it was great on the odd occasion a friend turned up with the same t shirt or something.

I don’t get mumsnet sometimes - it goes on and on about school uniform and all children should dress the same for school. On the other hand it’s unthinkable to dress siblings the same (or similar)?

I personally like the mid matched maching. Eg. Similar outfits and colours but one is in stripes and the other in dots. Or same T-shirt in different colours. Or the one where say one has a blue T-shirt and red shorts and the other has a red t shirt and blue shorts.

Obviously if the children involved hated it then you wouldn’t do it but if they like it then why not.

[HoldMeCloserTonyDanza]

IME, the British people who do it are either working class, VERY traditional upper class, or urban hipster Scandi middle class. Or foreign.

You never ever see it with lower middle class/raised working class but living as middle class - because there’s a sort of Hyacinthesque insecurity there.

I do it occasionally but I am forrin. I go in for Victorian melodrama style smocking until age 4 or so too. If MN saw my offspring they would feel DEEPLY “saddened” for them.

[DameSquashalot]

I'd rather have children who are alert and interested in what they put on their bodies than passive dolls.
Why would you care so much about something as trivial as whether or not a 2YO chooses their own clothes? It doesn't mean they're a passive doll if they don't. 😆

[OneStepSideways]

Definitely not middle class. Most middle class little ones here wear hand me downs and scruff order most of the time. Dressing up children is really an eastenders type thing unless for a wedding or funeral

Times have changed! Maybe it used to be a working class thing to dress kids the same (matching sailor suits, frilly frocks with long socks etc) but like any fashion it's moved on.

Organic cotton, Scandi, twinning prints, gender neutral retro style, has become a middle class fashion in my area (along with cloth nappies and baby wearing!) It's everywhere. They have good resale value, so plenty of kids in hand me downs and secondhand.

[Budsbegginingspringinsight]

Mine like it, and they dress the same occasionally.... not all the time at All.

[GreenTulips]

I'm the oldest and hated it. My younger sister loved it. My parents chose to notice the response they wanted to notice

I agree with this!

I hated it and DSis always for her own way, I still remember the awful matching winter coats for senior school, so embarrassing

It stopped when I had an almighty strip in a clothes shop at 14

We dress very differently

Funnily enough she was the only one who brought my twins matching outfits, no one else did!

You said you didn’t EXPECT and OTT reaction - but have you thought it prevokes one in some people?

[Laterthanyouthink]

This might be why some people think it's creepy

[findingmyfeet12]

I think people are saying it's naff and tacky because it's the kind of thing a wag would dress her children in nowadays.

It was quite common amongst our working class community when I was growing up. Not sure if it's still seen that way or it was a more widespread thing.

Who cares if you like it and the children like it?

My mum dressed us in the same outfits for special occasions or made us the same outfits because she'd bought cheap fabric in bulk. I don't remember hating it or having a strong opinion on it.

[DuploRelatedInjury]

I think it's sweet. DD1 (4) loves when DD2 wears the same as her - they sometimes have matching jumpers or dresses. They only have a handful of matching stuff though as DD2 mostly wears DD1's hand me downs.

I occasionally had matching outfits with my older cousin bought by grandparents, then had hers as hand me downs so I wore the same dresses for years...

[DameSquashalot]

NunoGoncalves

Mumsnet users in "over the top reaction" shocker.

Yep

[OneStepSideways]

And matching Moromini

[PatchworkElmer]

... that should be “rare occurrence”

[PatchworkElmer]

I think it’s ok if the children are happy, and it’s a rete occurrence.

A woman from my NCT group dresses her twins identically at all times. I find that a bit disturbing tbh, it’s like having a matchy-matchy pair is more important than recognising her children as individuals.

My opinion is probably coloured by going to school with 2 sisters who were also always identical- as soon as they were teens they both went out of their way to differentiate themselves. One of them became quite self-destructive for a very long time. I wonder now how much of it came from just trying to be different.

[Gooseygoosey12345]

Also, my parents dressed my sister and I in matching clothes. I don't remember ever hating it, and we definitely have different, and strong, personalities.

[Gooseygoosey12345]

Well I love it!
And children of that age do not use clothes to develop their personality, what a load of rubbish!

[OneStepSideways]

Example of matching DUNS from their website. I think it looks really cute to all wear an item with the same print (and easy for strangers to locate you if you lose one!)

It shows you're all part of the same family. Like naming your children starting with the same letter, the norm for much of the world yet sneered at in the UK (a culture which values individuality over belonging to a family group)