To dress young daughters the same

[Theorangeorange]

I have two young daughters (2 & 4) and I love dressing them in matching clothes - for reference they both love it too and get excited when they have the same on. I would stop when they don't enjoy it of course.

It's not every day, but for occasions they'll usually have the same on, perhaps in a different colour but matching.

I haven't ever given it a second thought until someone asked me whether I was concerned about them "not developing their own individuality" I wasn't!! Though I'm interested to hear thoughts......

I believe dc should be treated as individuals. I absolutely hated being dressed the same. Sometimes people also thought me and my sis were twins and I used to cringe even at 5!! It’s embarrassing to see tbh. I always think why would anyone force their dc to look the same.

@Nomdejeur snap,

I thought of that picture when i first saw this thread, it is absolutely my sister and me, i am the younger by six years. Having taken a while to find the image, here i find that you have got there first😀.

Great minds.

I think it's cute! Around here it's very popular to wear matching prints, I've seen mums wearing a dress in the same print as the kids tshirts and the baby in a matching romper! It's very Scandi and middle class. High end Swedish brands like DUNS and Moromini made it trendy! British brand Frugi is catching on now.

I prefer twinning prints to having identical outfits, keeps the individuality a bit.

Theorangeorange confusion and bewilderment at being offered choice isn't a good thing! Making choices is a life skill which starts with little choices made without pressure. If you don't get the chance to make choices early it's a bigger deal later. That's why uniform wearing British school children often make poor choices or feel under pressure choosing clothes for "Multi" non uniform days, but children who've never worn uniform have no problems choosing something to wear for the next day each evening and getting dressed in appropriate clothing and going to school every single morning without making a song and dance about it.

flowersaremyfave said her children wouldn't have had the foggiest idea what she was talking about if she asked them to pick their own clothes, not that they respected her choices!

@OneStepSideways where on Earth is it middle class. Round my way it’s certainly not the middle classes buying the duo of outfits... perhaps you mean not in the uk?

Nomdejeur that's exactly it! That was me and my sister too! Parents choose to register the little sister's smile and ignore the older one as just being grumpy/ more serious type/ less sunny personality etc.

@blueskiesovertheforest They aren't confused or bewildered at making choices... They make plenty of them "What would you like to eat?" "What would you like to do?" "Would you like to wear this outfit like your Sister?"

There's plenty of evidence to show that wearing uniform at school is a good thing - but you feed off the information that suits you.

Hats off to you if you've got 3 children and you give them the choice in everything that they do

I don't think there's anything

Sorry pressed send too soon!

I don't think there's anything wrong with it OP, especially if they're happy to wear them.

Just keep doing what you're doing and if you're worried now (from some of the comments, I haven't read them all) then maybe check with them every once in a while (probs more the older one) to see if they're happy still matching

My auntie does it with her 3 kids who are 6 and under, 2 girls and a boy and a lot of the time they wear those Spanish type clothes and all match, even if it's just the same colour top for the boy.

Mine are the same age and love wearing the same pjs. It depends on whether they like it or not. If they don't- stop.

Personally I don't feel clothes massively represent my individuality but I know for some people they make a huge statement.

What usually happens in this house is I find something like a 3 pack of themed t-shirts reduced in the sale and buy it with the intention of it being for one child (mine are similar size) and hell breaks loose so we end up with the pack being split among the kids so they'll both end up rocking a unicorn dinosaur t-shirt each and similar coloured dark leggings.

One in particular always looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards regardless though - today her leggings are on back to front (there's a pattern on them so it's obvious) - but since we're not going out anywhere and she got herself dressed I'm leaving her to it for the moment.

flowersaremyfave said her children wouldn't have had the foggiest idea what she was talking about if she asked them to pick their own clothes, not that they respected her choices!

I said that about my 2 year old because she's a baby. My others are 4,14,16,17 and are more than capable at making their own choices 😂 might help if you read the post properly.

flowersaremyfave wouldn't have had is past perfect - I did read your post properly.
Two year olds are not babies, they are little children who can walk, talk and make choices about little things in their lives in controlled circumstances and in many cases can dress themselves either with or without a little bit of help.

where on Earth is it middle class. Round my way it’s certainly not the middle classes buying the duo of outfits... perhaps you mean not in the uk?

Yes in the UK, at least in the south anyway. At the toddler groups around here there are lots of kids in matching Scandi, and a handful of matching mums too! The clothes aren't cheap- a kids DUNS tshirt is around £20 full price, but it's one of those ethical organic brands so people justify the cost.

When I've been to toddler groups in lower socioeconomic areas (same city) there seems to be a preference for Ted Baker, adidas, large bows and generally very gendered clothing.

@blueskiesovertheforest not my child. She can't even undress herself let alone pick out what to wear. Infact she loves to be naked so that wouldn't work.

Definitely not middle class. Most middle class little ones here wear hand me downs and scruff order most of the time. Dressing up children is really an eastenders type thing unless for a wedding or funeral.

I think it looks lovely not ridiculous or naff ! 🤨🙄 I’m sure they’ll tell you what they want wear anyway as they get older , don’t even worry about it sure they look really sweet x

We were all dressed in matching clothes when we were young. It didn't stop us developing our individuality. I only know it happened because I've seen the photos. I don't remember it at all.

Example of matching DUNS from their website. I think it looks really cute to all wear an item with the same print (and easy for strangers to locate you if you lose one!)

It shows you're all part of the same family. Like naming your children starting with the same letter, the norm for much of the world yet sneered at in the UK (a culture which values individuality over belonging to a family group)

Well I love it!
And children of that age do not use clothes to develop their personality, what a load of rubbish!

Also, my parents dressed my sister and I in matching clothes. I don't remember ever hating it, and we definitely have different, and strong, personalities.

I think it’s ok if the children are happy, and it’s a rete occurrence.

A woman from my NCT group dresses her twins identically at all times. I find that a bit disturbing tbh, it’s like having a matchy-matchy pair is more important than recognising her children as individuals.

My opinion is probably coloured by going to school with 2 sisters who were also always identical- as soon as they were teens they both went out of their way to differentiate themselves. One of them became quite self-destructive for a very long time. I wonder now how much of it came from just trying to be different.

... that should be “rare occurrence”

And matching Moromini

NunoGoncalves

Mumsnet users in "over the top reaction" shocker.

Yep