"I'm the oldest and hated it. My younger sister loved it. My parents chose to notice the response they wanted to notice..." THIS
Blueskies your whole post resonated with me so much.
I remember a particularly bad occasion when I was made to wear trousers that were too small, far too tight on the waistband because that was the biggest size they came in, and mum refused to let me even wear just similar ones in a bigger size (same colour and fabric just slightly different style) to a big milestone family birthday party which resulted in me getting an upset stomach, but instead of sympathy I was getting told off for fidgeting and complaining.
It was also ridiculous because we are COMPLETELY different physically we don't even look like cousins let alone sisters! Opposite body types, colouring, facial features so we didn't suit even the same colours! As a redhead I was put in orange and pink things that just looked awful on me!
My sister was gc anyway and I hated it from a fairly young age but didn't feel able to say so and then when I did was ignored or shouted down. It also meant I was wearing
(And getting teased and bullied for wearing) clothes that were far too young for me. Now admittedly there was a bigger gap between us (almost 5 years) but your 4 year old if not already will be starting school soon? So you'll need to consider things like that too
My sister and I are nc and have been for several years. Not because of this specifically but certainly because of her being favoured and turned into a 40+ year old spoilt overgrown toddler
My sister has 3 of her own and is doing the same with them. Dn2&3 are alike physically dn 1 is completely different colouring etc and is the favoured one and so the 3 are dressed in clothes that best suit dn1. History is repeating itself in other ways too.
"rather like people who give all their children names starting with the same initial." Interesting my sisters kids all have 2 syllable names starting with the same quite unusual initial
And I have to say that many years as someone who's cared for other people's children I have honestly found that other parents that do this also ignored the less favoured child's preferences so one would be getting to wear what they wanted to and the other wouldn't be getting a choice in the matter - and I've even seen that with twins.
It shows a lack of acknowledgment and effort to develop individual personalities imo
"Do posters think school uniforms suppress their identities and personalities and make them look like clones?" Yes! Completely unnecessary
And the LAST people I'd be looking to for good parenting guidelines is the royal family!
"Older ones at school now so I only get to at weekend or in the holidays." So when she's not in a school uniform she's in a family uniform?
"What's a mommy and me outfit?" When mum and child are in VERY similar outfits, usually mother and dd and usually done by the type of mother that when her dd is a teen will be saying things like "people think we're sisters" (no they really don't love!) and they can result in either child in outfit too old for them or adult in outfit that should never be anything but fancy dress going as a child!
See attached pic for example
On rare/special occasions where both/all children GENUINELY want to fine, as a regular thing? No.
"I'd rather be judged (by some) for dressing my girls the same than be judged for my children looking like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards" why would not being in matching clothes = looking like they've been through a hedge backwards? Suspect that's a "touched a nerve" post. I suspect you posted expecting the majority to agree with you and have been thrown that we aren't. You asked for opinions - you got em! That's disconcerting but hopefully it's given you food for thought?
I agree too children especially young children should be active and NOT worrying about spills or "wrecking" clothes, being hovered over by a mother (usually the mother) who won't let them BE kids. I'm also with those saying kids should be in comfy, practical clothing especially again very young kids.