To dress young daughters the same

[Theorangeorange]

I have two young daughters (2 & 4) and I love dressing them in matching clothes - for reference they both love it too and get excited when they have the same on. I would stop when they don't enjoy it of course.

It's not every day, but for occasions they'll usually have the same on, perhaps in a different colour but matching.

I haven't ever given it a second thought until someone asked me whether I was concerned about them "not developing their own individuality" I wasn't!! Though I'm interested to hear thoughts......

Perhaps I should have made clear that they're only ever matched in Mini Boden

MIne are only ever matched in Scandinavian gender-neutral organic cotton. I can't decide if I'm now simultaneously a chav and a snob or what..

GunpowderGelatine

I always think siblings dressed the same makes them look like they're in some kind of cult
Youve hit the nail on the head for me!! There was something off that I couldn't quite describe but that is it.

However, just because its not my cup of tea doesn't mean to say its not someone else's.
As I said earlier, I still hate seeing the pictures of me and my siblings dressed exactly the same and the meme someone put up earlier us a good summary of my feelings!

I hated it. My sister to this day looks at photos and snorts. We are 68 and 67. One Christmas I really really wanted a kilt and was thrilled when I got one. Mad that my sister got and identical one

To answer your AIBU, OP, I don't think it will make the slightest difference in terms of your children developing their individuality. Maybe it looks a bit try-hard, but honestly who cares, as long as your DDs enjoy it? Just watch out for the older one becoming less keen as time goes on.

😁

@RaffertyFair you got there first, dammit 😄

TBH, I wouldn't do it, but then again my girls were 9 years apart!i donthink it rather odd that siblings get dressed in the same outfits, even more so when they match their parent🤣
My girls generally chose their own outfits from a young age. They were very different in what they liked. Even now as adults they are totally different!

I think that if someone can get worked up, name call and judge because siblings wear similar outfits says much, much more about them than it does about me.

I'm amongst those who things it looks really naff. It doesn't mean I get worked up about it. I 100% wouldn't name call. But You asked us all what we think. So people are being honest about the thoughts that come into their heads, and replying to you. That is clearly what a lot of people think. I certainly wouldn't and I can't imagine anyone else on this thread says anything out loud. We just hold a different opinion from you. You only know about it, because you asked.

As for chalk it up to jealously - no other reason why someone would be that invested in what you dress your children in - what an odd thing to say. Why would anyone be 'jealous' of children being dressed in a way they wouldn't dream of dressing their dc, as they don't like the 'look'? . That doesn't make sense.
Once again, people are only letting you know, because you asked

DelurkingAJ why would they? The only things that get passed down to the younger one in my house is probably something that was expensive/designer.
My girls get new wardrobes every summer and winter

and you don't have the empathy to understand that most people's budgets wouldn't run to that flowers ??

I've never done it with mine ever. My mum used to make my sister and I wear matching outfits and I hated it with a passion! I don't think that it helped that my sister was three years younger than me and the outfits were always aimed at her age rather than mine.

It just put me off ever doing it with my girls. Maybe if they were twins or very close in age, but not otherwise.

If they like it, it's fine.

I'm not a fan. It makes clothes and appearance too important, something I think should be avoided especially with girls.

I don't see how it's practical, surely it lasts about an hour till someone drops food on it or has a nappy leak?

I am in the naff camp. It just looks so contrived. Each to their own though and if you want to do it with your children then I would consider it no business of mine in real life.

@BackforGood Though you are name calling by saying it looks "really naff"

My jealous comment was to the poster who spoke about someone she knew IRL deliberately being shitty about her children and posting it on here, while doing the same herself.

I didn't ask in my original post whether you liked it or not (I'm sure I wouldn't care much for your sense of style, it's so subjective) I asked whether you thought it inhibits personalities...

My kids have always been dressed traditional until they got to about 6-7 and started picking their own clothes.

Started to pick their own clothes at that age?! That’s really quite old. Most two year olds I know insist on picking their own clothes and refuse to wear things they don’t like.

My dd are 7 and 5 and they have a few matching dresses, some bought by others. They have the same taste, build and colouring .. it doesn't seem that weird. They often wear them at the same time - their choice.

They have a few similar clothes eg fleecy gillet, flowery skirt that probably look matchy but there are just a lot around in the shops.

My boys (two years apart) used to love dressing the same when they were younger than about 8. Now, as teenagers, they'd scream vengeance and damnation if I so much as suggested it... It did look cute though.

Equally, there are sisters (y2+y4) at my school who are habitually dressed identically. The youngest seems happy, but the oldest is beginning to express dissatisfaction at (her words) 'looking like a baby'.

I didn't ask in my original post whether you liked it or not (I'm sure I wouldn't care much for your sense of style, it's so subjective) I asked whether you thought it inhibits personalities...

True, yet conversations evolve. You can’t dictate to people what they wish to discuss just because you started a conversation.

Children develop their personalities though various means including choosing their clothes. So unless they are deciding to dress the same and picking the outfits jointly then arguably you are inhibiting one of the ways they can explore their individual personalities. Is it a significant issue that is likely to affect them in life? I doubt it in all honesty. They are still so young and have numerous other avenues to discover who they are doing to be.

@RainbowWaffles I have 5 children and have never had/known a two year old pick their own clothes. My youngest is 2 now and wouldn't have the foggiest idea what I was talking about if I asked her to pick her own clothes 🤔 can honestly say that comment has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever come across too 😂

It's cute that they like to dress the same op and I bet they look adorable. Don't worry about what that overthinking, 'interfering person said to you and just enjoy it while you can.

My 2 and 4 year old DSs like to match their clothes - it started with some matching PJs and now they insist they want to match all the time - we don’t go for proper matchy-match outfits but they like to wear same/similar t-shirts etc.

They like it an I think it helps them bond as siblings - someone earlier mentioned their DC feeling like a team - I definitely get this and I like the fact matching makes them feel united.

I think it can look contrived when DC have elaborate perfectly matched outfits, but I think that’s less about the matching and more about the impracticality of it - I think much the same of any OTT kids outfits.

My 3 and 4 year old love it. They have a few things that are the same and if one chooses one of those things to wear the other one wants to wear it too. I couldn’t care less if it looks chavvy - they’re choosing it not me. Where necessary I dictate the type of clothes (eg trousers and a jumper on a cold day at nursery not a summer dress) but within that they can choose whatever version they like. Often they come up with very strange combinations - that’s fine by me.
Personally I think dictating they can’t look the same is as controlling as saying they must.

@Theorangeorange I can't begin to fathom what possessed her to pass such comments, knowing that I read mn and that I might read the thread given the topic. She is extended family and I had previously thought we were friends... Clearly I had got that wrong!
But as I had said, the whole saga deserves its own thread! Sorry for derailing!

It's fine. Dress them how you want. They are tots not teenagers. I bet some of the people saying how bad it looks have put their children in all sorts of inappropriate clothing, bikinis etc and would be appalled if anybody tried to tell them they shouldn't dress their kids like that. People should mind their own children and keep their opinions to themselves.

Surprised at how scathing people can be on here. I think at 2&4 its pretty cute. I wouldn't do it all the time or once they were at school but you're not hurting anyone while they are so little.