Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name

272 replies

Blackcelebration73 · 20/02/2019 04:12

My DD is called Megan. We call her Megan at home.
Other people seem to think it’s ok to change it to other versions:
Meg
Meggy
Megs
Her name is Megan and that is what we call her at home.
Aibu to think people should just call her by the name her parents use & not make names up?! It really bloody irritates me

OP posts:
Chloemol · 20/02/2019 13:13

You need to get a grip. My name is shortened in a number of ways by different groups of friends, it’s no bother and my mother never got precious about it. If she’s ok with it then this is no problem

Grumpelstilskin · 20/02/2019 13:23

Well, soon you can add 'Nutmeg' to that list Grin

QueenieInFrance · 20/02/2019 13:44

I hate how people shorten it but I have had to get used to it over the years.

So SOME people don’t care if their names are shortened and OTHERS do care and feel that they have no other option other than accept it.
How is that Ok Confused

helpconfused · 20/02/2019 14:10

I always correct people when they shorten my sons name. He isn't old enough to choose for himself yet.

CountFosco · 20/02/2019 15:04

The childminder did it, the teachers, the other kids parents, the doctors and nurses.... etc...

These are all adults and they should be using the name the parents tell them, it's rude to do anything else. Family members are allowed to create nicknames and friends are allowed to create nicknames but anyone you meet randomly can't until they become a friend. If a nickname truly is affectionate then you shouldn't use one unless you have a relationship with the person you are nicknaming. Otherwise it's at best lazy, at worst rude. I agree with the PPs that say it's about boundaries. And to call a 6yo a name they don't want to be called by is bullying.

NotMySquirrel · 20/02/2019 15:55

My parents intentionally picked names that they thought couldn't be shortened. However, once I hit school, a nickname was found! You've just got to roll with it, I'm afraid. Or pick a name with a shortening you like, but I guess that ship has sailed.

lotusbell · 20/02/2019 16:17

I'm a bugger for shortening people's names on my own terms, sorry! Only people I know well though. Im rarely called by my full name and its not even a name with many nicknames or shortened versions. What does your daughter think of it?

happymummy12345 · 20/02/2019 16:27

My parents get so annoyed if anyone shortens my name (double barrelled name). They get a stern "her name is ....-.....). It's never bothered me and I prefer to be called by the shorter version, and I am when my parents are not around. I never understood the problem they had.
However since I've had my son, his name is one that can be shortened to two other names and commonly is. But I personally do not like either shortened version of his name, so his full name is used, we insist on him being called by his full name, not either shortened version. Now I'm in their shoes I completely understand where they've been coming from all these years.

LoniceraJaponica · 20/02/2019 17:08

"I'm a bugger for shortening people's names on my own terms"

Don't you think it is rude to do so without asking first?

flowersaremyfave · 20/02/2019 17:16

I'm with you op. I think if you don't hear the parents shorten it then you shouldn't. My friends daughter is called Samantha and She only calls her Samantha, I wouldn't dream of shortening her name to sam, I think it's really rude. Fair enough if the parents do but if they don't then you shouldn't assume it's ok.

Different if the kids are teenagers and that's what they go by then that's fine, but when it's small kids I think it's out of order.

Didyeeaye · 20/02/2019 17:20

This made me giggle. My mum used to go mad with my friends as they could call and ask for 'Christy' or 'Chris' and her reply was 'I think you have the wrong number' lol My name is Christine so Chris, Chrissy and Christy are natural nicknames that I responded to.
My DS is 4 but is called by a nickname is nursery as some of his wee friends struggled to pronounce his full name so shortened it. It's natural and something you have to consider when selecting a name.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 20/02/2019 17:21

It's a term of endearment - you'll soon lose all control over what your DD is referred to. If there's another Megan at school she'll definitely need to chose an alternative. People will also call her "love" , "duck" and "dear" and god knows what else. You'll have to unclench and just be grateful you haven't got anything worse to worry about!

81Byerley · 20/02/2019 17:22

My first boyfriend was called Ray. Our friends mum didn't like shortened names and told him he should tell people his name was Raymond. She was a very straight laced woman who was forever criticising us, and wasn't very well liked. He took great pleasure in telling her that Ray WAS his given name!

GregoryPeckingDuck · 20/02/2019 17:22

When I was a teenager I had a friend with a brother called Benjamin. Their mother would come in and freak out each time we called him Ben.

notacooldad · 20/02/2019 17:27

My mum was the same as you.
I just let people call me what they felt like when she wasn't around.
It was bloody embarrassing hearing her correct the shortened version of my name even though I I preferred it!
At least she hasn't been called Meggie Moo Moo as I heard a member of staff call a child at the Children's centre the other week! That's taking things to far!

Didyeeaye · 20/02/2019 17:28

To clarify, his name is not 4 lol I mean he is only 4 and already goes by a nickname.

Insomnibrat · 20/02/2019 17:33

YABU for giving her a name which is able and bound to be shortened in such a way if you absolutely didn't want a daughter with a nickname.

Dreamzcancometrue · 20/02/2019 17:47

Oh get over it ffs. People are starving and dying everyday due to problems that the first world create and this is what you kick up a stink about....

ChodeofChodeHall · 20/02/2019 18:08

YAB hilariously U

TheMadGardener · 20/02/2019 18:18

I think OP is fighting a losing battle here.

Once, many years ago, I was teaching Y4 and a new boy was brought to my class by the deputy head. His name was Antonio. I greeted him and asked if he liked to be known as Antonio or if he used a short version. He told me he was always called Tony. Fine, so I always called him Tony and so did all his little friends - he was a popular boy. Some weeks later, it was parents evening, and the first time I met his parents because he was collected by a childminder. I greeted the parents and told them Tony had settled in really well. They looked at me blankly because it turns out he had ALWAYS been Antonio to friends and family until he decided to re-name himself on the day he started our school! He stayed Tony at school after that because we were all used to the name by then.

BrizzleMint · 20/02/2019 18:21

It's her choice. My daughter (now an adult) decided a couple of years ago to be Sue not Susan, I don't like it but it's her name not mine so I accept it for what it is.

Topseyt · 20/02/2019 18:52

If, as you say, she herself prefers Megan then support her in correcting people every time you hear them shorten it (as tactfully but firmly as you can.

She might change over time, she might not. She might continue to prefer Megan, or she might decide she likes the shortenings or is no longer bothered. Just roll with it. It must be her choice in the end of you will fight a losing battle.

My parents tried to be absolutely rigid insisting that my sister should always be known by the long version of her name, not any of the shortenings (which were her preferred versions). They used to correct her friends whenever they phoned for her or came round and it caused her so much embarrassment. They lost the battle because of my sister's own preferences, and they are now the only ones who never shorten it.

My parents did seem to have a mantra that said that everyone must always be known by their full names, never shortened versions. They have always struggled to explain why they are both known by shortened versions of their own names and always have been.

katseyes7 · 20/02/2019 18:58

l hate my name. My parents didn't even choose it. As my mother said "We didn't have any girls names because we (I) wanted a boy so we let your auntie pick it."
l tolerated it until l left school, then ditched the last four letters. But forty years on, even my mother was calling me by the shortened version.
l think maybe your daughter may decide she'd like it shortened, or maybe not. But we don't choose our own names, and l felt very uncomfortable with mine.
However - if l'd been called Megan, l'd have been delighted. lt's a lovely name.

Terribletwos84 · 20/02/2019 19:35

🤣 My son is three and already tells people not to shorten his name. I have to laugh when he says 'my name isn't short version, my name is full version'. We decided we would leave it to him, love one shortening but the other i can't stand, knowing my luck he will be shortened to the one i can't stand.
I have a name that my parents thought couldn't be shortened but my partner has managed it and i can't stand it!

TallulahBetty · 20/02/2019 19:38

You'd hate me OP. I shorten everyone's name.

Ems, Holls, Polls, Haz, Loz.