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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name

272 replies

Blackcelebration73 · 20/02/2019 04:12

My DD is called Megan. We call her Megan at home.
Other people seem to think it’s ok to change it to other versions:
Meg
Meggy
Megs
Her name is Megan and that is what we call her at home.
Aibu to think people should just call her by the name her parents use & not make names up?! It really bloody irritates me

OP posts:
Oblomov19 · 20/02/2019 10:06

"This is why people always tell you to think about whether you like the usual nicknames when you post on the baby names board. Don't choose a name unless you like the nicknames too!"

EXACTLY!!

lazyarse123 · 20/02/2019 10:06

I have a Michael and his workmates call him Mikey, I absolutely cringe inside but he doesn't care so that's how it has to be. You need to live with it.

Apple103 · 20/02/2019 10:08

You can be annoyed all you want but that's not going to stop people. Let her be her own person not want you want for yourself. As many posters pointed out it's a form of endearment to nick name her.

Hamandcrispsandwich · 20/02/2019 10:19

My name can't be shortened. My sisters can. People have asked to shorten mine, but it just doesn't work. People shorten my sisters to all sorts, but she doesn't mind. If she doesn't like it (and there is one shortening she really doesn't like) she tells people 'You're welcome to shorten my name to X,Y or Z, but please not that one as i'm not keen on it'

I knew someone who has one child with a name that can be shortened and the other can't. Nobody shortens her DC1s name because when he was young, she used to shout at people that did. She went NC with her brother for 6 months after he shortened DC1's name.
Her DC is an adult and when they meet people, they say 'My name is X, you can't shorten it to Y, Z or anything else as my mum doesn't like it. Just call me X' which I find a bit sad as her DC actually likes the shortenings of their name.

AngelaHodgeson · 20/02/2019 10:20

My brother is called Michael and used to correct people when they called him Mike because his mother insisted his name was Michael. I obvs did as DSM said too - until his 10th birthday when I asked him what he wanted from me and he said "to be called Mike".

I have 6 names atm (most unrelated to my actual name) and don't understand why other people care that much about it. But if they DO care it really isn't that hard to get it right.

GabsAlot · 20/02/2019 10:21

you can probably work out my full name i hate it-my parents were the same as you always going on abut how people shortened it and they hated it-

however your dd seems to agree and all you can do is let her correct people when they say it wrong but they dont mean any harm

00100001 · 20/02/2019 10:25

Well, that's just tough luck...

all you can do is be that person and say "her name is Megan" every time.

and then you can reserve your angry emotions for when people spell it "Meghan"

LoniceraJaponica · 20/02/2019 10:29

"DD is 6 and it irritates her too- she likes her name & quite often corrects people herself."

In that case she has every right to correct them. I always ask people what they like to be called. I was a sales rep years ago, and getting people's names right is so important when doing business. It should be the case in informal situations as well.

"This is why people always tell you to think about whether you like the usual nicknames when you post on the baby names board. Don't choose a name unless you like the nicknames too!"

This ^^ with bells on.

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/02/2019 10:32

Why on earth did you pick a name that can be obviously shortened and then not expect it to happen.....? My mum deliberately chose names for my sister and me that cant be abbreviated, not that I would necessarily be bothered, but she obviously was.

WinterfellWench · 20/02/2019 10:34

@QueenieInFrance

Dangerous idea there. Does it also imply that you just have accept whatever other people want/do? So if someone wants to have sex with you but you don’t, as you can’t control them, you need to just accept it

Imo this is an issue with boundaries.

Are you fucking kidding? Hmm So someone saying 'Ange' instead of Angela is tantamount to someone sexually assaulting you. Jesus wept. Just when I thought I had seen everything on here!!!

YetAnotherThing · 20/02/2019 10:37

YABU. Agree you shouldn’t choose names where you dislike diminutive/nick names. Even worse if your daughter doesn’t like them too (which she might be saying just to please you). Lighten up as this will irritate you lifelong otherwise.

BlueSlipperSocks · 20/02/2019 10:40

I have a Megan. Her friends call her Meg. The family call her Meggie Moo. None of us are bothered. If I was dead set against anyone shortening my dc's names I would have called them something with one syllable.

There again my DH is called John. He has been known as Jack all his life. He's not bothered either. The only person who calls him John is his mother.

diddl · 20/02/2019 10:44

"Don't choose a name unless you like the nicknames too!"

Nicknames are necessarily connected to a given name though are they?

If your daughter doesn't like the diminutives of her name then she should be able to tell anyone without it being a problem.

I'm not sure how shortening a person's name to something that they don't want to be called is an endearment.

Surely that would be listening to & respecting people's wishes re their name?

It's horrible to be called prissy or uptight because you happen to like your name & don't want to be called by a variation of it!

angieloumc · 20/02/2019 10:51

I have an Andrew, James, Thomas and Molly. All shortened to Andy, Jimbo, Tom and Moll. Not my ideal, and I don't use them, but they like what they like.
In fact my DD's nickname is MM at school (not for Molly Mc** but for Marshmallow as she's pink and white apparently 😂)

cricketballs3 · 20/02/2019 10:59

I always knew I was in trouble if my parents used my full name, if I was full named and middle named I was in serious trouble same for DSs Grin

Thiswayorthatway · 20/02/2019 11:00

I have a short, 3 letter, one syllable name (not a shortened version of a longer name

  • Sue/Susan - but a name in its own right) which people lengthen as a term of endearment. It also rhymes easily which gave me lots of nicknames at school. But hey, it's my name and I like it.
nevernotstruggling · 20/02/2019 11:03

Yanbu. Dd2 has complained to me that her father doesn't call her by her name. It matters to her and she's 6.

Moneypenny007 · 20/02/2019 11:07

I do this on purpose with mil. I shorten dh's name, and ds1 just because it annoys her. I also do it to my bil's name.
I am often referred to as a shortened version of my name. It doesn't bother me. I find it strange that my dh never shortens my name.
In my defence the first text my dh sent me had his shortened version of his name hence why I shorten it.

Clawdy · 20/02/2019 11:40

My friend had a little boy she insisted was to be called Thomas,and never Tom. She corrected any friend who called him Tom. When he reached his teens, he became....Toz. He has a family of his own now, and is known to everyone as Toz! She hates it. Grin

emilybrontescorsett · 20/02/2019 11:50

It's very different if you know someone well , totally different for a complete stranger to alter an adults name.
If my name's Mrs Elizabeth Sinclair I don't want some random stranger suddenly referring to me as Betty, usually when they are trying to sell me something.
If they say can I call you Betty then fine but I find they dont.
They don't know me and haven't heard any one else refer to me as Betty.

Would it be ok for a teacher to of the blue call you Betty instead of Ms Sinclair. Or the receptionist at the doctors who didn't know you from Adam.

RolaColaAllTheWay · 20/02/2019 11:59

Nah, chill. If she doesn't like it, she'll have to be the one telling people to call her by her full name.

MumUnderTheMoon · 20/02/2019 12:25

Sometimes people shorten dds name. I just say "(insert full name here) gets her full name thanks".

purpleweasel · 20/02/2019 12:48

Where I am from most names get shortened, whether they have a "natural" nickname or not. As an example, if your name is Ian you will get called "Ee". If your name is not able to be shortened at all (and that will not be for the want of trying) they will add y/ie to the end, eg John would get called Johnnie.

My parents didn't grow up round here and thought they'd given me & my sister names which couldn't be shortened. They were wrong.

I am one of these people who will call you by the name you introduce yourself to me as, so for instance I know some Daves and some Davids. My name doesn't have a usual shortening/nickname and I hate how people shorten it but I have had to get used to it over the years. I have tried correcting them but it seems to be inbuilt and most don't even notice they are doing it as far as I can tell

81Byerley · 20/02/2019 12:59

You remind me of my Mum. "Tell that girl your name is Jennifer. If we'd wanted you called Jenny we'd have Christened you Jenny!"

TheFaerieQueene · 20/02/2019 13:01

Is she really called Megatron? 🤣

To be irritated by people adjusting my DDs name
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