Please make me feel better with your farty stories

[taxiforme]

Aaagh
Did a giant trumple right in the face of my lovely young man chiropractor.. damn you salad lunch.
Make me feel better with your farty stories...I can't face him again.

These are so funny! OP my story is a tale of how farts can be a source of happiness! My youngest DD is a renowned farter. At the end of last summer she remarked to me that she seemed to have stopped farting, we weren't keeping a tally but she couldn't remember when she had last done one. A few days after this she became really unwell, to cut a long story short she had a perforated appendix and an abdominal absess. Turned out lack of farting is an indicator of appendicitis! Things were pretty complex and she spent nine days in hospital post surgery, during that time her trumps returned, no control and they smelt like death! Never have I been so pleased to rejoice in normal bowel function!

This is really bold but I run an after school group, get on with the kids really well but when we are going up in the lift to our classroom I sometimes fart in the lift to entertain them! They all burst out clutching their noses and someone will say "run on! I've been hit!"

I did one unexpectedly during oral sex once. Right in his face. It didn’t put him off even though it was early in our relationship. He later married me 🙈

The Disgraces have always been unashamed flatulators.
After a dinner consisting of French onion soup, with obligatory Gruyère crouton, I let one off that made DD(then 3) cry because "my nose doesn't like me".
When we went to see my dad for what would be the last time, she trotted in, kissed him, and ripped out a paint-bubbling window-rattler. Dad starting laughing, going from ashy grey to pink to red to purple. He sank back, utterly exhausted and murmured "I thought that was going on the death certificate". One of my fondest memories.

Many moons ago when dp and I where at the stage where we didn’t fart round each other we where snuggled up asleep
While asleep I let out the longest smelliest fart ever
He woke me up to tell me ‘I’ve heard some farts,smelt some farts and tasted em too but never in my life felt one run up and down my pubes!’
I almost died-now we guff all the time!