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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a picture of my bio children

457 replies

Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 00:03

Had a photoshoot of my bio children 3 months ago and I really want a canvas printing for my back wall, AIBU that my stepchild is not on this?

OP posts:
CrispbuttyNo1 · 20/02/2019 00:07

Tricky.. do your children have the same father as your stepchild? does your stepchild visit often? Is there a proper photo of the stepchild up in a prominent place too?

todayandtomorrow · 20/02/2019 00:07

Was your stepchild at the photo shoot?

blackcat86 · 20/02/2019 00:09

I think it would be fine to put a canvas in your bedroom but not in the communal spaces unless there are also lots of separate pics of the step child with family.

SleepingStandingUp · 20/02/2019 00:09

Why wasn't your step child in it?

Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 00:09

Yes all children have the same father, I have one of my eldest and one of my stepchild on the mantlepiece, not yet had any printed of my newborn.

My eldest and newborn had a photoshoot and I want a canvas of my babies

OP posts:
Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 00:11

No stepchild was not in the shoot as we did not have her on that day and the availability times of the photographer were sparse (she is very cheap and all we could afford at the time)

OP posts:
Serenity45 · 20/02/2019 00:11

It really depends I think. Every family member can't be in every picture...but context is everything. Are there other pictures of your stepchild or including them? How many and how big? Was there a reason they weren't included in the photoshoot?

Serenity45 · 20/02/2019 00:12

Cross post about why they weren't included

JasperKarat · 20/02/2019 00:12

If all three were your biological children would the amount of pictures you have of each be what you consider to be fair and would you have one picture of the eldest and middle and another of middle and youngest? If yes , go ahead.

BartonHollow · 20/02/2019 00:12

Though I get that urge

That's a very hurtful thing for your DSS that he will remember, why did you not want all 3 together for the wall, and some of just your two separate for elsewhere

Plus a big canvas is a bit of a statement as to who is family in this house

DeepDarkWoods · 20/02/2019 00:13

If you want the picture on the wall then I think you should put it up. As long as you have pictures up of the stepchild as well.

user1473878824 · 20/02/2019 00:13

Tbh OP I think that would be an incredibly shitty thing to do to your step child.

Unless they’re 23, imagine going to your dad’s house and on the wall is a picture of his new family.

WarpedGalaxy · 20/02/2019 00:14

I think you should have one done of all your DH’s bio children too, you know, for balance.

Hellywelly10 · 20/02/2019 00:15

How would you feel if you were the stepchild looking at the print?

HennyPennyHorror · 20/02/2019 00:15

It's not shitty at all. My friend has photos of her bio kids on the wall together...unless your step child lives with you...then it would be shitty.

snitzelvoncrumb · 20/02/2019 00:16

It's fine as long as you also have pics of your step child up too.

hoge · 20/02/2019 00:18

I have pictures up that don't contain all of my actual children. How can it be wrong to have a pic with just some of the children? I have literally LOADS of pics that contain one, all three or a combination of 2 of my DC.

user1473878824 · 20/02/2019 00:20

They may not live there full time @hennypennyhorror but it’s still their home, where their dad lives.

OP, I’m not trying to be horrible but couldn’t you have booked it at a later date when your step child would be there?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 20/02/2019 00:21

A canvas print is not a photo though is it. Its much bigger and a photo of dss along side it will make it seem even more prominent. By having just your own 2 in it really emphasises that dss is an outsider

user1473878824 · 20/02/2019 00:21

@hoge your dad’s just had a new baby with someone and does a family photo shoot of his children you’re not involved in....

Fishwifecalling · 20/02/2019 00:21

I think you are sending a message to your stepchild that she isn't really considered as properly part of the family. I think it's a bit sad.

Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 00:21

We have pics of stepchild up and one of all of them but I want my bubbas canvas on the wall ( my stepchild couldn't be at the shoot ) she doesn't live with us

OP posts:
Seren85 · 20/02/2019 00:22

I initially thought that it was shitty to exclude SC then realised that at DH Dad's house there were always huge photos of his half sisters (just called sisters, obvs) and few of him. Then I remember meeting DH and finding out how much he felt like his SM wished he didn't exist because he was "before" and think it would be really really U. Sorry.

hoge · 20/02/2019 00:22

user

Ok, so not the same as not having your bio children in every picture.

AtrociousCircumstance · 20/02/2019 00:23

Get one of the three of them done, or take a good one yourself of all three and print it out and frame it. And display both. And maybe have some other combinations too.