To want a picture of my bio children

[Fairydustsprinkled]

Had a photoshoot of my bio children 3 months ago and I really want a canvas printing for my back wall, AIBU that my stepchild is not on this?

[Stompythedinosaur]

I think that would be hurtful and wrong. It would basically be a huge reminder that your dss isn't a real member of the family. Either have a photo shoot with all the children in or keep the photos private.

[WarpedGalaxy]

It’s not just a photo though is it HennyPennyHorror? It’s a bespoke statement piece, a canvas of only two of the DH’s three bio children and, incidentally, the half-siblings of the child in question. Seems very pointed and more than a bit off to me.

[Fairydustsprinkled]

My newborn would have changed so much by the time I was able to rearrange and have all of the kiddies in it

To be honest though I do feel that I should be able to have a pic of just my babies, stepchild is very much included but doesn't every mum want a pic of just their babies

[Fairydustsprinkled]

Why should i have to keep my babies pics private ?

[user1473878824]

Yeah of course they do but you CHOSE to be a step mum. A big portrait of all “your” children is a statement. A statement that daddy has his new family now and they’re a bit different to your step child.

[beansontoastfortea]

@Fairydustsprinkled of course every parent does op but you took on your dp knowing he had a dc and I think to put up a huge canvas of just your 'bubbas' as you call them is a bit shitty towards your dss ... it's not her fault her dad has a new family, would it really hurt you to keep the canvas to yourself and get a new one done with her in it for everyone's sake.

[user1473878824]

You don’t have to keep them private. You have to include your other child. Because that’s what your step child is.

[Pillowaddict]

I think actually yabu, a big canvas reinforces the fact they weren't important enough to even be at the shoot let alone displayed on the wall. Different if they had also been there and you put a separate canvas up of them, but hurtful and pointed to have one of only your two imo.

[pallisers]

but doesn't every mum want a pic of just their babies

maybe (I didn't care much about photos but I can see why people do) but if you have those babies with a man who already has a child you may have to accept that the photo of your babies doesn't go on the wall in pride of place. because that would be hurtful to a child who is as important to your husband as your children are. You have the pic. Why do you need to display it so prominantly. Why not frame it and put it on your dressing table or nightstand or on the sideboard with all the other photos.

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

Every mum might well want a picture of just their babies but they are all dads babies. Part of being a blended family is not to exclude the children who dont live in the house full time.

[beansontoastfortea]

Maybe DP Would like a canvas of ALL his dc up on the wall... curious to know what he thinks of you putting up just your children?

[HerRoyalNotness]

Yes it’s fine. You have some of your SC as well. Do a snap at home of the 3 of them and print for mantle.

[WyfOfBathe]

I don't see any problem with having a picture of just your bio children, as long as you also have pictures (from different occasions) with your stepchild. Don't most people have pictures with only some of their children in??

[Stompythedinosaur]

I think that when you have a relationship with someone who has children, you have to accept those children are part of the family.

Your dss already has things tougher than your bio dc. It really isn't worth making things emotionally harder for him. Just let him be included in family things.

[WarpedGalaxy]

You can have a picture of just your babies, no ones stopping you, but you haven’t addressed the question of why there can’t be one of all 3 of your DH’s babies too?

[Fairydustsprinkled]

My partner doesn't mind and I would be honest about it he isn't the sugarcoating kind

[YourSarcasmIsDripping]

Stop withering on about my babies my babies. It's whiney and immature and it will get people's backs up. Plus it makes you sounds like everything PP's are accusing you of being and excluding SC.



That being said ,you're not unreasonable, there are pics of the SC in the house, a combination of them and siblings, it's fine. Maybe later on you can add one of all three children. PP's are giving voice to adult thoughts and how would they feel or projecting. If the kid is really included and loved (stop with the my babies shit ,hopefully you're not like that around SC) they won't care.

[beansontoastfortea]

What @WarpedGalaxy asked... it's not reasonable to say 'she couldn't be there' you wouldn't accept the same if one of your babies couldn't have been there

[Fairydustsprinkled]

We do have pics of stepchild and my eldest displayed but I want this particular picture on my wall

[birdsandroses]

A large canvas photo is not equal to just another photo in a frame.

I think it would make your step child marked out as different by not being included in the professional photo.

You would still have a picture of your children if your step child is in it. You married a man who had a child, your two children with him is adding to the existing family.

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

Of course a kid is going to care if there is a canvas print of dads new kids but not them up on the wall. Its nothing like a framed photo.

[Lamentations]

If you don't think you're being unreasonable and your partner doesn't think you're being unreasonable may I ask what is prompting you to ask the internet if you are being unreasonable?

[Fairydustsprinkled]

I suppose its my own conscience, but on the otherhand I feel i should beable to, I see my sister with her babies.. sorry children on the wall and I would like the same

I wanted other opinions good or bad

[user1473878824]

OP how would you feel if you and he split up, he had kids with someone else and didnt think your bio (🙄) children counted enough to go on a big canvas print in his new house? How do you think your children would feel?

[Fairydustsprinkled]

I didn't add their will also be pics of all the kids and individuals around it too