To want a picture of my bio children

[Fairydustsprinkled]

Had a photoshoot of my bio children 3 months ago and I really want a canvas printing for my back wall, AIBU that my stepchild is not on this?

[beansontoastfortea]

By all means you can have a picture of your children on the wall... what I don't understand is why it's so hard for you to have your dsd too? Would it tarnish it somehow? I just don't understand why it must be just your two

[YourSarcasmIsDripping]

No they won't. Like i said, if the kid is well adjusted, the parents coparent well and she's truly loved and made to feel like part of the family,she won't care. However if this just another slight on top of many and OP is marking territory and has a habit of separating "my babies" and SC then she'll have much bigger issues to deal with than the canvas anyways.

[bethy15]

Why not just a canvas of baby as it is right now. Just the baby and get another canvas of all of them together?

It does have to be fair and to have only your children in canvas is not a good look for a step child coming to her fathers house. These are small things people don't think matters, but they really do to the person who you're excluding.

[Fairydustsprinkled]

We have the two eldest on the mantlepiece but not my newborn

[user1473878824]

“I see my sister with her babies.. sorry children on the wall and I would like the same“

Do the same. With ALL your children included. Ffs.

[AcrossthePond55]

You mean like you have pictures around the room of all the children in assorted sizes & combinations, but you want a huge canvas of just your two hung in pride of place? No sorry, that would be hurtful.

[user1473878824]

OP, how old is your step child?

[Purplejay]

I think it is too much of a statement piece to have up excluding your step child. Other photos in various combinations is fine. I get you like this photo and want it but you should have taken dsd to the shoot too. Your reasons for not taking her are poor. You could have had a lovely one of all of them. It could be hurtful to put something up that shouts these are ‘our children’ and ‘you aren’t’. Makes me sad.

[Caticorn]

If your DH doesn't mind what are you whining about? Just put it up. Book in a time to get one of the three of them done and put that up as well. No big deal.

[Lamentations]

You know the child and your conscience is telling you that it's probably going to hurt him.

[sleepylittlebunnies]

If all 3 of my DC couldn’t attend DC3’s newborn photo shoot then I think I would have waited until all 3 could attend. If it was important to capture DC3 while still a newborn then I would have just had the newborn’s photos taken. Or at least only ordered a large canvas of the newborn alone and smaller pics of newborn with sibling. I would expect DSC to be sensitive with a new sibling arriving and shocked that their dad isn’t bothered. Even more so as DSC doesn’t live with you all.

[beansontoastfortea]

Wouldn't it be better to set an example to your own dc that dsd is just as much a part of the family as they are by simply including them all in the big picture??

Does your sister have a sc?

[Fairydustsprinkled]

@caticorn thank you

[lyralalala]

We have the two eldest on the mantlepiece but not my newborn

Hardly the same not including one that wasn’t born as excluding the no biological one.

Pics of different combinations up are fine, but a focal point canvas excluding your stepchild is just asking for them to feel left out and crap.

[user1473878824]

Just going to ignore all the questions you don’t like then?

[Fairydustsprinkled]

@beansontoastfortea I get this completely and no she doesn't so she is in a very different situation

[Fairydustsprinkled]

@user1473878824 she is 10

[sweeneytoddsrazor]

So how would you feel OP if your parents had a big canvas print of your sister on the wall and a photo of you on the mantle piece?

[user1473878824]

It’s not a “very different situation” OP. Your step child counts as much.

[HeddaGarbled]

I sort of want to think you are being unreasonable just because you used the word ‘bubbas’.

How about you put up another canvas print of your stepdaughter as well? Ask her whether she wants one of her own, with her siblings or with her dad.

[bethy15]

You do know a mantelpiece photo isn't anything like a canvas print on the wall?

If you want a photo of the baby, put it on the mantle too, a big canvas needs to be all children or none at all really. And really shouldn't be only your children.

DSC came first, she should have pride of place as much as anyone, not being excluded.

[beansontoastfortea]

@Fairydustsprinkled then why compare yourself to her? Taking on a step child is a big responsibility... I am one myself and I get it, you cannot help how you feel about your own kids but my god you have to stop yourself and put the child's feelings first... she's been through her parents separating, has to deal with a new step mum and siblings and probably already feels like an outsider... you could make her feel a million times better by putting up a pic of all of them ... it wouldn't hurt you but it would probably hurt her not to

How old is dsc?

[AtrociousCircumstance]

I think it’s fine if there is a selection of photos with different combinations.

[thedogattacksthetissuebox]

You sound annoying.

Bubbas.

[Fairydustsprinkled]

Very fair points, I'm not easily offended or I wouldn't ask for opinions.

Just difficult when you have that maternal tug and want the normal things like pics of your kids

As previously stated it was my choice to get with someone who has a child already so I need to suck it up and not get a large pic but similar sized ones of all of them