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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a picture of my bio children

457 replies

Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 00:03

Had a photoshoot of my bio children 3 months ago and I really want a canvas printing for my back wall, AIBU that my stepchild is not on this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 01:46

@WarpedGalaxy I knew what you were doing

OP posts:
Lovingbenidorm · 20/02/2019 01:47

Why don’t you just get a great big canvas of yourself?

Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 01:48

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Lovingbenidorm · 20/02/2019 01:49

Well thanking you kindly for your good wishes

Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 01:50

@Lovingbenidorm how immature 😂😂

OP posts:
GlitterStick · 20/02/2019 01:52

To be honest though I do feel that I should be able to have a pic of just my babies, stepchild is very much included but doesn't every mum want a pic of just their babies

Oh, I don't get this! If you're wanting babies, you have babies with your partner.
If you're with an actual partner you want to be with, their babies are your babies too.
why get involved with people with kids in the first place if you don't want to see them as ever being yours?

WarpedGalaxy · 20/02/2019 01:54

Grin I had a feeling you would. I do like an OP who takes it on the chin and is willing to be open to other POVs. Your stepchild could do a lot worse in a stepmother.

Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 02:02

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Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 02:03

@WarpedGalaxy haha thanks

OP posts:
Lovingbenidorm · 20/02/2019 02:03

Stop being such a fucking child yourself
(I should have listened to myself and ignored this)
You have a step child
You have your own children
Don’t be a wanker by getting a huge blown up canvas of your kids stuck up on your wall
Have you no sensitivity?
Being a good mum applies to stepkids as well

Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 02:04

@Lovingbenidorm yawn

OP posts:
Oceanbliss · 20/02/2019 02:06

Fairydustsprinkled
I normally always put my feelings to one side and this is another of those instances where I should have

No, there is a compromise where you and your dsc's feelings are equally met.
Step 1. Temporarily hold off putting the canvas of your bio children on the wall.
Step 2. Arrange a photo shoot for dsc to be included in a family photo and one of just her and her Dad.
Step 3. Hang three equally sized canvasses next to each other of bio children, family, dsd and Dad.
Step 4. Step back and admire how good it looks. And feel good that everyone's feelings count.

Easy.

MidniteScribbler · 20/02/2019 02:07

Instead of one big canvas, why not create a photo wall with lots of smaller canvas in different sizes with different group configurations - the one you like, one with everyone, eldest and SDC, each child alone, wedding photo of you and DH, grandparents, etc?

GlitterStick · 20/02/2019 02:11

@GlitterStick let's just wave a magic wand glitterdick and give me the maternal instincts I feel for my own bubbas (yes I fucking said it) bubbas bubbas bubba

Glitterstick, actually, not sure where glitterdick came from.
All I said was, if you have kids and he has kids too, then you get together you surely are together?
Not they're yours and not mine.

Lovingbenidorm · 20/02/2019 02:12

I fully appreciate that you feel differently about your ‘bio’ 🤨 “babbas” and your stepdaughter, that’s only natural
Why are you being so aggressive about it?

Lovingbenidorm · 20/02/2019 02:14

Midnite very good idea
There’s that website that gives you a bunch of pics on sticky backs

Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 02:15

Oceanbliss thank you good idea except why just dsc and her dad?

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Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 02:17

@MidniteScribbler thank you great idea

@Lovingbenidorm did you not call me a wanker or is that you being polite

OP posts:
Lovingbenidorm · 20/02/2019 02:18

Because SHE is the first born and she might possibly feel that now that her dad has left her mother and has other children that perhaps she’s not that important in his life.
Fuck you’re hard work

Lovingbenidorm · 20/02/2019 02:20

I didn’t call you a wanker
I suggested you should avoid being one

Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 02:20

@Lovingbenidorm no that's not how she feels and in my world you speak how you would like to be spoken to

OP posts:
Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 02:22

@Lovingbenidorm you are very passive aggressive

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Original poster
Fairydustsprinkled · 20/02/2019 02:24

Anyway I'm done... off to breastfeed

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SandyY2K · 20/02/2019 02:24

I get why you would like a photo of your own children. It's just how your SD will feel about it.

I have a friend in your position... she was not happy about a family photo including her SS.... but it's more because he was the same age as one of her DC.

Lovingbenidorm · 20/02/2019 02:31

May I suggest that you have no idea how she feels.
A young girl who’s father is no longer with her mother and has a new family is going to be confusing for her.
It’s all about learning those very basic things like confidence, respect, trust, strength and determination
I’m sure you are a very lovely mum and stepmum
I’m just harking back to the photo business
You are playing a very important role in this young girls life
He’s your husband
He’s your children’s father
He’s yours
But he’s also a father to a child that you need to understand needs him as much as you do
Please allow her to have a part of him that doesn’t belong to you