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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is committing benefit fraud

317 replies

Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:19

My sister has 2 kids and is in a relationship with their father who earns around 50k per year. They all live together in privately rented accommodation (in his name) however my sister pretends to still live with the kids at my parent’s house so she can claim benefits.
They have horrendous debts between them because they live totally outwith their means (2 nice cars on finance, holidays on credit cards, eating out multiple times a week etc. The children are very spoilt with toys and clothes too).

I love my sister but I feel total rage at this situation. I know I should just keep my nose out of it but it all just feels so wrong. AIBU to want to anonymously dob her in?!

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 19/02/2019 12:21

I know I should just keep my nose out of it

Yep.

PCohle · 19/02/2019 12:22

Yes,YABU.

bingoitsadingo · 19/02/2019 12:24

YANBU

People on here will tell you to mind your own, being a snitch is awful etc. But it's everyone else that is funding them. People like that give genuine claimants a bad name, and are taking funds that they really need.

UtterlyDesperate · 19/02/2019 12:24

I understand how you feel, OP - it would enrage me too. No advice, just solidarity Flowers

daisypond · 19/02/2019 12:24

And what does your sister/BIL say? It is wrong, and I would find it impossible to justify, so what are their explanations?

TheInvestigator · 19/02/2019 12:24

I'd tell. But on here everyone seems to think that benefit fraud isn't a big deal and you should never say anything.

They aren't doing it because they are desperately struggling. They are doing it because they are greedy. So I'd report it.

Fairenuff · 19/02/2019 12:25

Well she's stealing. And the money she's stealing is actually supposed to be designated for people in need so she's stealing from the needy.

If she was a stranger would you report?

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:26

Just to add I’m not actually going to dob her in because I wouldn’t want to put them in the position where they then have to pay loads of money back and it impacts the kids lives. It still enrages me though

OP posts:
Shadowboy · 19/02/2019 12:26

Benefit fraud is fraud. It’s simple. It takes money out of an already stretched pot. What benefits does she claim?

I would have to say something, simply because I can’t abide people who knowingly abuse the support system.

TheInvestigator · 19/02/2019 12:27

They will get caught. And the longer it goes on, the.more trouble she will be in. And if your mum knows about it and is facilitating it by passing on the post etc then it puts her in a bad position too.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 19/02/2019 12:27

I can understand the annoyance. But given this is a family member I would give very serious consideration. How would it impact your neices/nephews? Could you live with your conscience if it all went to shit?To be honest if they have debts up the yinyang it will all implode anyway.

greendale17 · 19/02/2019 12:28

**I'd tell. But on here everyone seems to think that benefit fraud isn't a big deal and you should never say anything.

They aren't doing it because they are desperately struggling. They are doing it because they are greedy. So I'd report it.**

^This.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:28

@daisypond she just says it’s hard being a parent to two kids when they have so much historical debt racked up. The benefits helps her to be able to treat them to nice things etc :-/

OP posts:
PortiaCastis · 19/02/2019 12:28

What happens at her work coach interviews and what about sanctions

Stinkytoe · 19/02/2019 12:28

MN is oddly against reporting benefit cheats for reasons I don’t understand, I assume they’d call the police if someone stole from their home.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:31

@anastasia that’s what’s stopping me from doing it incase it impacted my nieces lives and I would feel horrendous guilt. Also wouldn’t want my mum to get into any trouble as she’s been facilitating it. Grrrrrr it just fucking annoys me so much! I had debts when I was younger and worked my butt off to clear them, having to basically live like a pauper for years on end with no new clothes, holidays, meals out. I couldn’t afford a car and had to walk everywhere.

OP posts:
recrudescence · 19/02/2019 12:31

Hopefully she is not implicating your parents in this stealing. Do they have vouch for her living at their address?

recrudescence · 19/02/2019 12:32

X-post!

codenameduchess · 19/02/2019 12:33

Benefits are not to treat kids to nice things though! They are for people who genuinely can't pay for necessities.

You can make an anonymous call.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:33

@recrudesnce I think they do vouch for it and my sister has all her mail etc delivered to their home. Direct debits at her real home are all in her partner’s name so it looks like he’s the only one there. Think he gets single person discount for council tax too :-(

OP posts:
Roxyxoxo · 19/02/2019 12:33

YANBU for wanting to, but as she is family and as you say could have repercussions for your nieces and your mum it’s tricky. People who play the system do make me angry, and no doubt make it harder for people who actually need the support by stretching the pot.

SalliSunbeem · 19/02/2019 12:33

Report her - why should honest tax payers fund her?

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:35

If they were seriously struggling through no fault of their own other than horrible circumstances then I would be sympathetic as life isn’t easy for everyone. The fact her partner earns a pretty decent salary (they don’t live in an expensive part or the country either) just pisses me off that they can’t get their acts together to sort their debts out and stop committing fraud

OP posts:
Elfinablender · 19/02/2019 12:35

Dob in your own sister? Holy shit...

Elfinablender · 19/02/2019 12:36

Won't you be shunned by your entire family?

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