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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is committing benefit fraud

317 replies

Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:19

My sister has 2 kids and is in a relationship with their father who earns around 50k per year. They all live together in privately rented accommodation (in his name) however my sister pretends to still live with the kids at my parent’s house so she can claim benefits.
They have horrendous debts between them because they live totally outwith their means (2 nice cars on finance, holidays on credit cards, eating out multiple times a week etc. The children are very spoilt with toys and clothes too).

I love my sister but I feel total rage at this situation. I know I should just keep my nose out of it but it all just feels so wrong. AIBU to want to anonymously dob her in?!

OP posts:
RomanyQueen1 · 19/02/2019 14:20

Warn her and your mum that it's a prisonable offence, even claiming to not understand and having a baby in a SCBU won't stop a sentence, not me but I know a couple who this happened to. Child taken into care, for doing exactly the same.

Nesssie · 19/02/2019 14:20

Your sister is a criminal. A thief.

They aren't doing it to make ends meet, they are doing it to go on holidays, something some hardworking honest people can only dream of. Sickening. I wouldn't be able to be around her, or your mother tbh.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 14:20

@purpletigers she worked for a year after uni and then had the first child and hasn’t really worked since (other than her hobby which brings in a miniscule wage each month)

OP posts:
GregoryPeckingDuck · 19/02/2019 14:22

We’ve cleared a six figure debt in the last year. And we don’t commit fraud in order to do it. It’s doable. The absolute worst that could happen is that one/both go bankrupt which really isn’t the end of the world.

Fairenuff · 19/02/2019 14:22

I still couldn't bring myself to volunteer information about my sister, putting in jeopardy the well-being of the wider family...

Yes, that's it.

Don't put my family in jeopardy, put someone else's family in jeopardy.

That's the attitude that disgusts me. It's all me, me, me and very much the world we live in today.

From the looks of some of these posts, there's a lot of it going on though.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 19/02/2019 14:22

of course YABU she's your sister. I don't know how you could for shame, that's a horrible thing to do. Go tell her what you are suggesting and see how long she wants to know you for. But you won't you'll go behind her back, what a cuntish thing to do

Jesus wept. The cuntish thing to do is committing benefit fraud NOT potentially dobbing someone in!

GregoryPeckingDuck · 19/02/2019 14:22

Sorry, obviously that would be if they weren’t commit fraud. Obviously given the choices she’s made she has open herself to things much worse than a modest lifestyle or bankruptcy.

daisypond · 19/02/2019 14:24

putting in jeopardy the well-being of the wider family... for defrauding the State. -but the wider family is the state/community/ society/neighbours/friends/family, whatever you call it. The "state" is community/society/neighbours/friends/family. It's not "them over there, up there", it's "us around here, down here". The "state" is ordinary people.

Wishiwasincornwall · 19/02/2019 14:27

Oh and stop telling the OP that she would cause the childrens lives to be ruined/ be put in care etc etc.

The blame of any outcome should fall squarely at the feet of the criminals. What they have chosen to do will be the cause of any action.

Mummyoflittledragon · 19/02/2019 14:27

YANBU to want to report her. I see that you will not. Therefore the morally correct thing to do is to help her get her spending under control and persuade her the benefits of defrauding the government outweigh the risk. Otherwise you are also complicit.

My brother committed tax evasion years ago. I was dumbfounded. It only went on for a couple of years and wasn’t huge amounts thank goodness being only a sideline, which didn’t turn out to be very profitable. I was too scared of him and my family to do anything about it.

BGD2012 · 19/02/2019 14:29

My sister works cash in hand and claims benefits, this is quite common around here, as is not declaring a partner living at the property . I haven't reported her but I get why it would annoy you. Sadly I have a cousin with quite severe mental health issues who is often sanctioned and I have had to help her with appeals. Hugely stressful for her and she doesn't play the system.

Elfinablender · 19/02/2019 14:29

That's the attitude that disgusts me.

I know, I heard you the first time. It's not that I disagree with the points you made, I just wouldn't dob in my sister.

Just in case you think your point was ambiguous, I know this disgusts you.

newnamewhosthis · 19/02/2019 14:30

What your sister is doing is wrong but YABU, mind your own business.

Government statistics show the amount Britain loses to tax avoidance and evasion dwarves the cost of benefit fraud. If you want to be angry at something be angry at that.

Springwalk · 19/02/2019 14:31

The kinder thing you could do is to speak to her and stop her from continuing. At the very least your parents need to know and get her to stop.

She could spend literally years in prison op. The courts will take such a dim view of the extravagant lifestyle ( yes they will dig out every left detail) she could lose everything.

Purpletigers · 19/02/2019 14:32

So one year of working and she thinks that enough to take out what she wants for the next ? years .
I honestly don’t know what I’d do in your situation. I don’t think I could sit by and watch it happen but I couldn’t willingly get my own familyinto trouble .
I’m assuming the self employment is so she can claim some kind of working tax credits .
Can you talk to your mum ?
It’s a lot more common than people realise and not counted in fraud figures because they’re never found out . These people are experts . They’re not some poor working person earning minimum wage either. I know of one particular case where Dad claims to live with his mum ( no he doesn’t ) while his wife and three children live in another house on the same land .
Children get fsm and have done for years . I doubt they’ll ever get caught tbh .

drspouse · 19/02/2019 14:33

The benefits helps her to be able to treat them to nice things etc :-/

And what about people who need benefits to eat?
And people who can't get their operation done because the NHS is strapped for cash because of people who commit benefit fraud.
And people who are waiting TWO YEARS to have their child diagnosed with a disability - and get help - because the government is paying out to people like her.
And the schools who are cutting TA jobs?

Getting your debts sorted out is how you pay for treats for the kids. Not stealing from ill people and children with disabilities and schools.

LuckyLou7 · 19/02/2019 14:33

You won't be the only person aware of your sister's fraudulent activity. Someone else will report her.And she will have to pay the money back.

Springwalk · 19/02/2019 14:34

And she will go to prison.

percheron67 · 19/02/2019 14:36

These people are part of the reason that the system is in chaos. |Please report them. I reported someone who lived in my town and have no regrets at all.

27dresses · 19/02/2019 14:36

There are kids involved. Leave it, plus your DS is in a bad place financially so this could really help her should the relationship end.

Elfinablender · 19/02/2019 14:36

And people who are waiting TWO YEARS to have their child diagnosed with a disability - and get help - because the government is paying out to people like her.

Well, her sister may have contributed but it could also be the billions lost on tax avoidance or large corporations, the millions lost to failed government software, £58 millions lost to a garden bridge that never happened etc, etc but mostly the sister.

27dresses · 19/02/2019 14:37

There is no chaos. The government want you to think that there's not enough money to go around.

NameChanger22 · 19/02/2019 14:38

If it was my sister I'd report her immediately. My sister is horrendous though. I wouldn't report someone I really liked and cared about.

She'll probably only have to repay it. Benefit fraud isn't treated the same as other fraud.

Santaclarita · 19/02/2019 14:39

If you aren't willing to tell the fraud team due to her finding out it was you, what was the point of this thread?

Fitnessrules101 · 19/02/2019 14:41

Fraud is just such an awful thing. Be it a big company or someone’s grandma, I think it’s shows someones character.

We had this discussion at work that if you could get away with not paying tax would you? and 80% of people said they would! I was so shocked. I always like to pay my way and work for the money I earn.