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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sister is committing benefit fraud

317 replies

Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 12:19

My sister has 2 kids and is in a relationship with their father who earns around 50k per year. They all live together in privately rented accommodation (in his name) however my sister pretends to still live with the kids at my parent’s house so she can claim benefits.
They have horrendous debts between them because they live totally outwith their means (2 nice cars on finance, holidays on credit cards, eating out multiple times a week etc. The children are very spoilt with toys and clothes too).

I love my sister but I feel total rage at this situation. I know I should just keep my nose out of it but it all just feels so wrong. AIBU to want to anonymously dob her in?!

OP posts:
AllInADay · 19/02/2019 12:58

How often does she need to go to the Job Centre and is she signing on for work to claim her benefits? What sort of benefits is she claiming?

If she is regularly seen by someone at the Job Centre then they are probably already suspicious.

There is talk here about breaking the family apart if you inform on her, but, if she is discovered, the family will be broken apart anyway, as they'll all be implicated. Her husband could possibly lose his job as he is implicated. I'd sit down and have a serious talk with her about what she's doing. If it helps to bring her to her senses, she might already be under investigation without her knowing. Quite a bit is done to collect evidence, first, before the fraudster is confronted.

TulipsTulipsTulips · 19/02/2019 12:58

I don’t think I could bring myself to report a sibling in these circumstances. I say this with some conflict because my love for my siblings does not outweigh my strong beliefs that we should not steal and that people should face the consequences of their criminality.

AllInADay · 19/02/2019 13:01

p.s. Partner, not husband

Fairenuff · 19/02/2019 13:01

I just can't understand the mindset of people who would shop their own family members for stuff like this.

Like I said. Entitlement.

No-one else can break the law except my family.

Or maybe it's just selfishness. Either way, there's some poor elderly person, or a blind man, or a homeless person struggling to find food and warmth.

But as long as your family members don't have to give up any of their luxuries you can turn a blind eye.

Disgusting.

daisypond · 19/02/2019 13:02

where is your loyalty? -loyalty to who, to what? To the many poor and deserving people in this country who need benefits? To what is right and proper? To justice? To a sister who is stealing from you and doesn't care? To your wider family called society? Your sister is stealing from you, taking you for a mug and you're letting her.

Bobbycat121 · 19/02/2019 13:02

if the children are under 5 then shes probably only seen by the JC every 6 months so doubt they are suspicious.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 13:03

@bobbycat one is 5 and the other is 2

OP posts:
SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/02/2019 13:05

People like that give genuine claimants a bad name, and are taking funds that they really need

Agree with this - plus, they will NEVER learn to manage their (very comfortable) income if they keep relying on other sources to fuddling a lifestyle which is being their finances.

And the odds are that sooner or later they will get caught, and the more they have fiddled, the bigger their penalty is going to be.

Horrible as it is, I would dob them in. They have made you an accessory to fraud - are you happy with this? Even if you aren't ever caught for it, they have drawn you into criminality.

I, personally, would not be part of that. (Also, if it comes out and it transpires that your mother knew about it, she could also end up in court. Your MOTHER!)

Shop them, insist that you have only just found out and that no-one else is party to it, and let them face the music.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 19/02/2019 13:06

*fund, not fuddling

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 19/02/2019 13:07

daisypond , if my sister or any other family member committed a crime like this, I would let her get caught on her own. But, I will be damned to be the one who did it. To sell your own blood down the river- that I think is disgusting.

Giraffetower · 19/02/2019 13:07

I would talk to her about it. There can't be only you who knows she is doing this...so it is only a matter of time before someone makes the call.

mrsmuddlepies · 19/02/2019 13:08

I can't help wondering about the posters who cry Faaaamilly and what their reaction would be if it was their MIL defrauding the system?
It is stealing and is ensuring that the people who really, really need the money will get less.

cakecakecheese · 19/02/2019 13:08

Can you make up a friend of a friend who has just been arrested for this kind of thing and say you're really worried they might get caught?

It's so frustrating as there's so many people relying on food banks yet your sister just doesn't want to stop eating out so much. Selfish.

MeetJoeTurquoise · 19/02/2019 13:09

You need to say what benefits she's receiving, how frequently she goes to the job centre, ages of children before anyone can say anything.

Theunreasonableone · 19/02/2019 13:10

If it was a family member of mine I think my utter contempt and disgust for them would have destroyed any relationship anyway.

Bluerussian · 19/02/2019 13:10

Stay out of it, not your business.

ShatnersWig · 19/02/2019 13:10

I'm with Fairenuff on this. Apparently family are given special dispensation to commit crime these days.

I could totally understand the attitude of keeping shtum if this family were in genuine hardened straits, but this is not the case. It's a fucking disgrace when there are people in desperate need.

NotAgainSilly · 19/02/2019 13:11

People like that give genuine claimants a bad name, and are taking funds that they really need

^ this.

She will get caught and rightly so to.

WeAllKnowDave · 19/02/2019 13:12

I have reported a similar situation in the past. YANBU.

Original poster
Ellabella989 · 19/02/2019 13:12

@meetjoe I’m not 100% sure on the precise details as she knows I disapprove and doesn’t tell me everything about it. I think she claims the maximum working tax credits and something else. Children are 5 and 2 and I think she goes to job centre once every 6 months

OP posts:
DishingOutDone · 19/02/2019 13:12

People like this are committing almost all of the benefit fraud in the UK; I had a friend who deliberately took a few hours at a low paid job to make it look like she was "trying" to support herself, claimed council tax rebate etc., her kids got scholarships and better uni grants and so on but she was working cash in hand, owned a company where she was taking a cash share of the profits and took 3 or 4 luxury holidays without her kids every year. Yet she was still the most racist person as they were all coming over 'ere taking our benefits.

She's not my friend any more but is still considered a pillar of our local society, bakes for the church etc. Obviously you can't report your own sister but even so it would upset me.

Cheetahssitonfajitas · 19/02/2019 13:13

I wouldn't report but I would distance myself. It's literally stealing from those in need so I wouldn't be comfortable being around someone capable of that, relative or not. And I'd tell them why I was withdrawing.

Itsallpeachyfornow · 19/02/2019 13:14

Get on with your own life, can understand why it annoys you but being bitter doesn't make it any easier. Then if you did dob her in it would probably make you feel worse. Just be pleased you do it all yourself and work hard for what you have. She will probably get caught anyway

BinaryStar · 19/02/2019 13:14

Does she appreciate that if caught this isn’t just a matter of paying money back, she could go to jail for this?

MeetJoeTurquoise · 19/02/2019 13:14

So really you do not know anything. She's working is she then?

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