To ask what happened to having traditional values?

[mozzarellasticks]

I'm 23 and from a very young age I was told that it was 'right' to live life in a 'traditional' order.
For example: being in a relationship with someone, buying a house, getting married, and then having kids.
Not trying to be smug or on a high horse, just wondering what happened and why people are getting pregnant after knowing someone for 5 minutes. I'm generally considered to be have old fashioned views but want to know why no one else feels the same way

Get your own bank account OP, that's not a tradition worth keeping. That was literally the first thing DM said to me when I got engaged

Your one line posts appear to be a bit goady and smug.
I was a but like that at your age. Life soon slapped that attitude out of me.

OP hasn't been able to explain why she can be a GF about having traditional values yet she has apparently only stuck to one of them which is taking out a mortgage before having a baby. Literally nothing else she describes is "traditional". Fucking hypocrite

This thread title keeps reminding me of this song from the musical Chicago, which is sung by a foul-mouthed bribe-taking prison warder and a convicted murderer who are nostalgic about 'pure ethics and nice manners':

Whatever happened to fair dealing?
And pure ethics
And nice manners?
Why is it everyone now so a pain in the ass?
Whatever happened to class?
Class
Whatever happened to, "Please, may I?"
And, "Yes, thank you?"
And, "How charming?"
Now, every son of a bitch is a snake in the grass
Whatever happened to class?
Class!
Ah, there ain't no gentlemen
To open up the doors
There ain't no ladies now,
There's only pigs and whores
And even kids'll knock ya down
So's they can pass
Nobody's got no class!
Whatever happened to old values?
And fine morals?
And good breeding?
Now, no one even says "oops" when they're
Passing their gas
Whatever happened to class?

Lol.

I got engaged when I was 23. Had life all mapped out.

Then, 7 months before the wedding, along came a surprise pregnancy. I didn't want to walk down the aisle looking like a barrage balloon, so we married 8 months after I had DS.

He doesn't seem to have been materially impacted by his entrance into the world as the bastard son of two heathens living in sin. But then he's only nine, so he may yet turn out to be criminally insane and morally bankrupt.

@parthenope I love that musical

I won't be encouraging my daughter to follow "traditional values" - I'll be encouraging her to live her life to the full before settling down and getting married / having kids. If I'd married the person I was dating at 23 I would be thoroughly miserable by now. Let alone having kids with him. Not saying that happens to everyone who marries young but it definitely wouldn't be something I would encourage her to do.

I don't understand what is apparently so wrong about being married and having a house before having children. Is that not how it should be? To provide a home for your children with a loving and committed partner?

So a couple who have chosen not to marry and live in rented aren't providing that?

I don't understand what is apparently so wrong about being married and having a house before having children

Nothing if it’s your choice. Telling others yours is the correct choice is the problem.

Is that not how it should be?

If you want it to.

To provide a home for your children with a loving and committed partner?

Families, and stability, come in all shapes and sizes.

@Amibeingnaive I can't understand why people don't want to be married, nothing wrong with renting just not a very permanent living situation

@mozzarellasticks you are NOT following traditional values as you are living together and having sex before marriage.

You are a massive hypocrite.

Many people have said this, why are you still ignoring it?

nothing wrong with renting just not a very permanent living situation

Faux naïveté is utterly transparent

You can be loving and committed without being married.

@pinkgloves not ignoring it. I'm obviously not as traditional and old fashioned as I previously thought

nothing wrong at all, equally, its no big deal.

working in retail from 17, buying a house, marrying a first bf at 23, is very very far from what i aspired to and what i hope my dd aspires too- however if it suits you thats great. you have to do whats right for you- traditional/conventional/ whatever. it certainly wouldnt suit me (cant think of anything duller!)

Maybe ask yourself why you felt the need to even post this shite.

And remember that pride often comes before a fall...

I suspect because many people don't see signing their name on a sheet of paper as quite the pledge of everlasting love that you do. I think I made my real commitment to DH when I delivered his children and combined assets - both a lot harder to extricate oneself from than a marriage, which you can apply online to dissolve.

As regards rented accommodation, this may come as a shock, because it's not covered much in the press, but not everyone can afford to buy.

nothing wrong with renting just not a very permanent living situation

Jesus Christ. Get some fucking world experience and it may make you more empathetic and realistic. And less smug and spoiled.

I also can't believe the amount of people on here wishing for my life to fall apart and one individual even wished an unplanned pregnancy on me before the wedding

NOT AN UNPLANNED PREGNANCY?!

How could anyone survive that?

@Amibeingnaive I personally wouldn't go through with it as it's not part of my plan

So* @mozzarellasticks* you're living and presumably having sex with your partner. How long have you been together? What would you do if you unexpectedly became pregnant?
That's what happened to me and Dp, bought a house moved in and found out that I was pregnant. Not planned but we both wanted Dc someday we knew we could afford it and I didn't want a termination.
We didn't buy our house because of tradition though. We wanted to live together and thought it was better value than renting. Plus we both had very relaxed thankfully not at all traditional parents who let us stay at each other's homes so we managed to save a really good deposit which we couldn't have done paying rent.

I plan what to have for dinner. Life, that just happens.

You'd have an abortion because it was before you were married? Because it doesn't fit your life plan?

I'm firmly pro choice, I've had an abortion myself, but as someone who's also suffered infertility and multiple miscarriages his gives me the rage.

I actually can't say what I want to as I'd probably get suspended but I'm out of this disgusting thread.

Give your fucking head a wobble.