To ask what's the dirtiest, piggiest thing you eat in secret?

[Clairaloulou]

Mine is Frosties with cream.

Banana and mayo.

I feel like I’m living vicariously through this thread I can’t eat bread (doesn’t agree with me, including gluten free stuff, it’s something to do with the binding agent or raising agent apparently, I can tolerate keto bread but it’s not the same...). When I was younger I used to be able to eat bread so I can still remember the tastiness. Spag bol sandwiches sound amazing

Chicken and mushroom pot noodle with tons of ketchup sauce, in a sandwich.

It goes everywhere, tastes completely artificial and I love it.

oxo cube sprinkled on raw meat.

Sorry.

Cheese and broccoli "pasta n sauce" with extra cheese sprinkled in.
Whole pack of birds eye chicken dippers with ketchup dip.

OP, I'm almost with you, but it has to be Crunchy Nut cornflakes. And I'm assuming the cream is thick? Or even better, clotted.

Fried condensed milk

2 chicken Kievs with a slice of cheese between them eaten like a sandwich

Vesta meals, the one with the crispy noodles. Yum, Yum Yum.

I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE!!!!

Single cream and crunchy nut cornflakes.

Hotdogs wrapped in bread not buns (ditto, buns give far too high a bread to sausage ratio). I do love ketchup though.

Home-made Cronuts... can of croissant dough, sliced into strips about an inch wide - in the deep fat fryer, dredge in sugar. Push into face. A can does about enough for four people or makes two people feel quite sick quite fast.

Cheese sauce (home made and very cheesey) on toast.

Cheesey mashed potato .. on toast.

Left over chilli or bolognese.. plus grated cheese.. in a toastie.

Oh and the Cheese Hamwich Samwich! Perfect!

Red Pringles with mayo to dip,
Potato cakes, home made and fried in butter- made into sandwiches with fried spasm.
Hot chocolate powder in a cup, mixed with a teaspoon of sugar and a glug of milk and mixed into a paste and eaten. Yum!

Ginsters jumbo sausage roll with salt and vinegar crisps shoved up inside the pastry so it's extra crispy.

In the past I have consumed an entire Philadelphia tub scraped out with mini cheddars. Nutella, raw cake mix, entire famiy size bag of toffee popcorn and tubs of Ben & Jerry’s have all featured quite highly on my guilty pleasures list.
I once ate an entire box of fried halloumi fries, mmm.

Buttery toast dipped in sweet tea. Don't take sugar in tea normally.

Turkey dinosaur sandwiches with HP sauce

There's nothing nicer than tipping a bag of chocolate buttons into Walker's Ready Salted crisps and enjoying the crispy creaminess.

A packet of meringue nests, crushed with a carton of cream. Sometimes a few strawberries so it's got a tiny bit of goodness

@FuckBrussel yes, very thick. 1500 calories per pot thick . Agree with the crunchy nut, but DS is allergic to nuts so Frosties are as close as I can get!

@easyandy101

I think you win! Fried condensed milk?!

I've been known to make chocolate fudge buttercream and just eat it with a spoon out of the bowl.

I also used to eat drinking chocolate out of the tub with a spoon.

And there was the time I made a steak bake sandwich... A Greggs steak bake between 2 slices of white bread thickly buttered (with proper butter)

@PickAChew bugger off then if you don't like it! It's completely in jest, nothing competitive about it! 🙄

Plain crisps with pickled onion juice poured over, dipped into mayonnaise. Mmmm....

Wheatos with double cream (when I do this I use a pasta bowl not a cereal bowl - go big or go home)

Can of baked beans, can of chilli. Nuke together and dive in. Just check your calendar to ensure that you don't have any social or business engagements for the next 36-48 hrs, as the resulting flatulence could knock out an elephant at 20 paces.

Whole bottles of Jack Daniels, deep fried in Emmental and Pork Belly Wraps, splintered, served with a potato and Black Pudding Mash. If I’m really hungry, some croutons sprinkled on top.