Page 13 | To give dd a bottle of Prosecco

pasanda · 2019-02-17T18:28:35+00:00

DD is 15 tmrw and has a friend coming round tonight to celebrate before we go away for a few days tomorrow. She's asked for a bottle of Prosecco for them to share, to celebrate. Would you let her?

cindersrella · 18/02/2019 15:10

Also I never have taken drugs either... however if you got to the local pub or town centre now the majority of you get people are not only off the heads on alcohol they are also coked off there heads too. This is in pubs that are in areas that are a little run down but also in rich city centres, and a lot of these "kids" are at university that are doing it

Oliversmumsarmy · 18/02/2019 15:15

The fact that people find it unbelievable that a child can’t wait till they get to 18 to have alcohol is a damning view of this country.

Having been on threads like these in the past, with a few exceptions we have virtually the whole of munsnet thinking it is a good idea to pour drink down their children’s throats to teach them that they don’t need to drink, or just to drink the odd glass.

That is the laughable logic

BackforGood · 18/02/2019 15:22

Alexa is talking a lot of sense. Particularly her post at 8:18 this morning.
I think it is very sad that a teenager (potentially 14 yr old?) who has come to your house and said she doesn't even like prosecco, rather than saying "Don't blame you, we've got lemonade or juice or squash or water, or a cuppa, what can I get you".... you actually then try to add other things to the prosecco, to make it palatable for her .
I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

Oh, and all of my teens tried alcohol before they were 18. But I never forced it upon their friends, and I would never have let 14/ 15 yr olds get the idea it is normal for children to be drinking a bottle of alcohol in their bedroom.
A glass with the family at a meal, or a bottle or cider or lager to take to a party once they are in the 6th form. Not drinking 3 units in your bedroom along with a mate at 14 / 15.
Massive difference.

AliasGrape · 18/02/2019 15:24

So, to all of those who were drinking bottles of vodka, going to nightclubs or having babies aged 15, how did things turn out for you? Did you go to university, do you have a good job/career, do you have a nice house, cars, do you have a loving spouse, happy well adjusted children? In short would I want your life for my children or should I maybe encourage them to aim higher than drunk in a park with their knickers down, aged 15? Plenty of us had no need for sex and drugs and alcohol to have fun at that age, life is long when you make bad decisions and there is no hurry for all that shit

I didn’t have a baby, but I was drinking, going to clubs and my knickers were on occasion down at that age yes.

Yes I went to a good (Russell Group) university where I received a good degree. I also have a Masters. I have a ‘respectable’ career, an ok house and a wonderful partner. My car isn’t the best but then I’m not particularly materialistic.

I’m not saying I’d want for my children (hypothetical) to make the same choices, but I think ‘if you drink as a teenager your life will be terrible forever’ is an unhelpful position to start from.

Hairyporker · 18/02/2019 15:28

Anyone who refers to a glass of prosecco as "3 units" urgently needs to unclench.

Skirmisher · 18/02/2019 15:29

Things turned out fine for me! I have a degree, an MBA, a good career, own my own home, lovely partner. Ta dah!

Purplejay · 18/02/2019 15:56

I would allow a glass each or a bottle of something less strong.

I was allowed a taste of alcohol from 12. Small glass of wine at a wedding, a weak snowball at christmas. At 14 my parents would allow me babycham in the pub on occassion. At 15 I was buying a couple of cans on friday night and singing songs in the park with my mate. From 16 going to the pub - usually after wine at a friends (liebfraumilch or thunderbird). We would occasionally buy a small bottle of spirit or some martini! I started clubbing at 17.

I think I turned out ok. I left school at 16 and started work but have studied and am a lawyer. Don’t think I ever had my knickers down because of drinking - certainly not as a teen! I didn’t have an unwanted pregnancy. I own my own home and had a 16 year marriage (which recently ended but has generally been good). I have a lovely 12 yo.

I am always amazed at the number of mumsnetters who don’t drink and won’t allow their children to drink until they are 18. I hardly know anyone like that in real life.

Apple103 · 18/02/2019 16:08

I would judge and think of you as a poor parent. Actually pathetic to think you would even consider it.

Nothinglefttochoose · 18/02/2019 16:12

Yes I think it’s fine.

Seaseasea · 18/02/2019 17:14

So, to all of those who were drinking bottles of vodka, going to nightclubs or having babies aged 15, how did things turn out for you? Did you go to university, do you have a good job/career, do you have a nice house, cars, do you have a loving spouse, happy well adjusted children? In short would I want your life for my children or should I maybe encourage them to aim higher than drunk in a park with their knickers down, aged 15? Plenty of us had no need for sex and drugs and alcohol to have fun at that age, life is long when you make bad decisions and there is no hurry for all that shit

It is posts like this that make it so obvious why so many kids are miserable these days. I don’t measure my success in terms of my house or fancy degree, I measure it in terms of my happiness. As it happens, I have money, education and happiness. I really feel for the kids growing up with this shit. Imagine your whole life that is just to study, go to a great uni, get a good job, have kids and sit in playing scrabble with your boring banker husband and never have any fun. I hope my kids are happy - that is all.

UserUser123 · 18/02/2019 17:23

Prosecco is quite strong, I think 2 15 year olds would get drunk on a full bottle. I’d let them share a bottle of lower alcohol white or sparkling rose wine.

OR

Let them have a couple of those frozen cocktails each, they’re like 4% so they would probably be fine with that.

My mum let me drink at home when I was 15 but I was only allowed low alcohol white wine

UserUser123 · 18/02/2019 17:35

If you'd like your DD to become a binge drinker then yes, by all means do it!! However, if you'd like to parent your child rather than be her friend then it's a firm no, isn't it?

Haha how the fuck did you come up with this theory?

Parents let you drink at home at age 15, therefore you become a binge drinker???!!!! Drinking half a bottle of Prosecco is hardly binge drinking!!

I was allowed to drink at home from age 14. I’m 37 now and hardly ever drink these day and I’ve certainly never been a binge drinker! My 3 siblings are exactly the same.

Away and boil your head and stop talking shite!

elaine54 · 18/02/2019 17:37

whenever anyone asked if it was okay for them to give my teenage daughters alcohol, I usually replied are you planning on letting them smoke. normally they would come back with ( oh no I would never think of letting them smoke ) My answer would be what's the difference. I cannot believe how many people think its okay to give a child alcohol, but not a cigarette, when they are both illegal and can cause serious harm

MerdedeBrexit · 18/02/2019 17:58

Elphame's right! Yes, of course, drinking in moderation is fine, don't make a big deal about it so they'll want to drink in secret, that would be much worse for them. Congratulations on your daughter's fifteenth birthday!

The1andonly11 · 18/02/2019 17:58

It's fine. If you are there supervising and the other parents don't mind then fine. If you don't let your kids drink a little with you then they will not be able to handle it when they go it alone. A half a bottle of prosecco won't do any harm.

RelaisBlu · 18/02/2019 17:59

I was offered alcohol from about the age of 13 in the 1970s by my Dad. He was a doctor. As an adult I drink very little. I think the fact it was not prohibited meant it was nothing special for me - I could always take it or leave it. I can only remember getting very drunk once or twice at university

Original poster

pasanda · 18/02/2019 18:00

I guess some people just have a more relaxed attitude to alcohol.

DH and I often drink, have parties, dinner parties etc where alcohol is consumed. Normal for me and my peers. My dc see this so that will surely have an influence on them

OP posts:

Bugbabe1970 · 18/02/2019 18:02

Maybe a Lambrini instead?

Reallyevilmuffin · 18/02/2019 18:03

Give them a whole bottle and join them in drinking it, down a few glasses. That way you're the cool parent who let them and joined them whilst limited their alcohol consumption :p

Original poster

pasanda · 18/02/2019 18:08

Really. I did. I had a glass. They were given the rest but actually left most of it. They didn't like it in the end!

I'm loving some of the telling off posts though. everyone parents differently and I think that's completely fine. It would be a very boring world if we all stuck to the rules all the time!

OP posts:

MerdedeBrexit · 18/02/2019 18:13

There's a win! It wasn't prohibited but they decided for themselves they didn't like it! All good!

Armadilloboss · 18/02/2019 18:17

GreyTS I was drinking probably earlier than 15. I went to university, got a degree, work in a well paid management position, own my own home, my own car, holiday several times a year, and I am married to a detective sergeant who started drinking at a similar age. It is better to drink at home with parents consent, than drinking a quarter of vodka in a park as quick as you can to get drunk and end up getting your stomach pumped. That happened to many girls in my school.
What a judgmental attitude to have. In European cultures it is quite common for teenagers to drink.

Bluntness100 · 18/02/2019 18:18

Mumsnet has a large share of tea totallers for some reason, it's a bit unusual as actually only twenty percent of the population are axrually tea total.

My family are Italian, so the attitude to alcohol is very different, wine is something to be enjoyed in moderation at meals. It is not something to be demonised. Or abused to get drunk. As such, I had a tiny bit of wine with lemonade in from a very young age,

My view is that booze shouldn't be banned from kids, or demonised, but introduced sensibly in thr home environment, so there is no novelty.

And my experience shows the kids who are banned from it, are the ones who then struggle to know their limits when they go to uni or are allowed drink and it can be very dangerous.

However for two fifteen year olds, I would absolutely not have given them the best part of a bottle. I'd have kept the bottle downstairs with me and let them have a couple of small glasses each max. Simply because after half a bottle of Prosecco they may well be quite drunk.

csigeek · 18/02/2019 18:20

I would let her have some, probably not a whole bottle.
My mom always let me have a little tipple, on holidays she'd buy a miniature of archers and I'd have an "archers and lemonade", which was a dribble of archers in a pint of lemonade 😂
Sometimes bottles of hooch (remember those?!) or Smirnoff ice.
I drink virtually nothing now at the age of 35 and could count on both hands the number of alcoholic drinks I've had in the last 6/7 years.
Don't get me wrong, I did my share of binge drinking between 18 and 22 ish, but I definitely attribute my now lack of drinking to not being told no in my early teens. I didn't need to rebel so it got boring very quickly!!

Bluntness100 · 18/02/2019 18:27

I cannot believe how many people think its okay to give a child alcohol, but not a cigarette, when they are both illegal and can cause serious harm

This is factually incorrect, it is not illegal for a 15 year old to drink at home. In fact it's only illegal to give a child under the age of five alcohol.

But no, The op did not break the law.