To give dd a bottle of Prosecco

[pasanda]

DD is 15 tmrw and has a friend coming round tonight to celebrate before we go away for a few days tomorrow.

She's asked for a bottle of Prosecco for them to share, to celebrate.

Would you let her?

If it's just two of them?? A whole bottle is too much.
I would get the little 20cl bottles each and add some OJ to dilute.
I don't think 15 is ridiculously to young for at home supervised drinking.
But it's all down to what you and the other mother are comfortable with.

Are you one of those parents Fishwifecalling who can’t wait for their children to drink because it means you don’t have to drink alone

Underage drinking

TRUE OR FALSE: Letting kids drink helps them avoid alcoholism later on
FALSE. Studies have shown that high school students who drink with their parents' permission are more likely to drink later on, not less likely - and this is especially true when youngsters are allowed to drink at home with friends.
On the flip side, the longer a young person delays drinking, the lower his/her risk for subsequent alcohol problems

Number 9/15 taken from

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.cbsnews.com/amp/pictures/14-facts-about-drinking-are-you-misinformed/

But surely those kids who are willing to wait until 18/21 and not go behind their parents backs, are obviously not going to be heavy drinkers later on. Of course that it going to be the result of those studies.

And of course those parents who encourage drinking but don't bother to educate about drinking in moderation are also going to skew studies.

There is a middle ground.

If she's had the respect to ask you for this, it shows she's a sensible girl that's not about to be sneaking off drinking straight spirits in the park (if you let her have a little of what she fancies at home).

The OP has already said her dd has sneaked alcohol out of the house, so bang goes that theory!

We have no way of knowing how our children will cope with/handle alcohol. It's such a complex combination of physiological, psychological and social factors.

Anecdotal accounts of individual experiences are not helpful - you will find stories that simply contradict each other. But the NHS has given very clear guidance based on research not anecdotes and it contradicts the 'demystify alcholol by allowing early use leads to safe drinking' approach:

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/childrens-health/should-my-child-drink-alcohol/

The culture of drinking in this country is such a difficult one to challenge.

Alcohol is the 'go to' for almost every event - good or bad, or is simply a permanent feature of daily life. I believe we need a massive cultural shift but as most adults are themselves caught up in the culture of drinking, there is very little drive for this.

Iceland provides a very interesting case study though :

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-41973296/how-one-country-persuaded-teens-to-give-up-drink-and-drugs

That's a lot of Prosecco for 2 teenagers. No way.

That's an interesting film. Harder to apply in the UK with its much bigger population and lack of funds but great in theory.

I wouldn't be happy with a whole bottle of prosecco but I would have requested some of it for myself but not insisted and then tried to educate. This approach has worked for me. As I said, my kids are the ones looking after other kids.

My niece got herself in a very awkward situation. She called her mum to come get her. The girls she was with dare not. She won't allow herself to be put in this situation again. Many on here could well be those other girls mothers. Thinking they've got the situation under control. They might not!

no

I’d say no, my dd is 15 and I feel it’s far to young.

What about some mocktails? Fancy glasses, little umbrellas, straws etc...

You can do loads of decent ones, dress the glasses up nice and it’s a fun activity as well then.

Lol at people actually thinking anyone would wait until they turned 18.

Ha ha. She's just cleared her room and bought down 2 rather full glasses of Prosecco! They didn't like it it would seem. (I did buy the cheapest I could find!).

She is no angel. She's had her moments of being anything but sensible. I'm just trying to find that middle ground.

Scrumpy. I was going to say the same. Not one teenager I know would willingly wait until they're 18 to drink alcohol. So far removed from the realities of being a teenager today it's laughable!

We did at 16, at 15 I would allow one glass

This approach has worked for me. As I said, my kids are the ones looking after other kids.

The trouble is Fishwife we can't actually know that it was your approach to drinking alcohol at home that resulted in your kids having a balanced approach to alcohol. It's unlikely to be down to a single factor.

My concern is that others take your experience as an indcation that it would work for their kids in their situation which may be totally diffierent to yours. There is no way of factoring out all the other elements (physiological, psychological, social etc.) as well as the parental guidance you gave.

I can find no evidence that suggests being less open to underage drinking at home results in increased teen drinking or more dangerous drinking. On the contrary, according to the NHS guidance research suggests that children are less likely to drink alcohol when their parents show that they don't agree with it. Now, I know its only a suggestion, but it is still worth considering.

Alcohol brings no benefits to teenagers, and has the potential to bring significant harm. I just wish there was a greater desire to make not drinking ok.

My own experience- I was allowed to drink around my parents from 13 - a glass of wine here, a bottle of beer or Bacardi breezier there. I'm mid 30s now and virtually teetotal. Being allowed to drink sensibly around my parents meant that it wasn't a forbidden thing that I got trashed on. In fact, I didn't drink at all on my 18th birthday because it wasn't anything particularly exciting or special. I'd probably not allow them to have a full bottle but maybe a mini bottle each.

Alexa I didn't. Mostly because I was kept indoors until I left home. DS1 didn't, he's 28 and still doesn't like the taste.

AlexaAmbidextra it is not illegal to give alcohol to give alcohol to a child between 5 and 16 in the home....

Would I give alcohol to a 5 year old? No but I think 15 is ok and that’s my personal opinion and it’s in line with the law

Not one teenager I know would willingly wait until they're 18 to drink alcohol. So far removed from the realities of being a teenager today it's laughable

I think that is because of the company you and your dc mix with.

Dd has never drunk. She is 19. But we as a family don’t drink. Ds I don’t think has any interest in drinking.

it is not illegal to give alcohol to give alcohol to a child between 5 and 16 in the home

bonnielassie. I know it isn’t. You were the one who mentioned age when you posted, In parts of the UK at 16 you are allowed beer,cider, wine at dinner with a parent present

I merely stated in response to this that OP’s DD was 15. I wasn’t arguing the legality or otherwise. Just common-sense and responsible parenting.

A glass yes. A bottle no.

Some supermarkets sell a half bottle. It’s more expensive but at least it looks like a decent amount.

So, to all of those who were drinking bottles of vodka, going to nightclubs or having babies aged 15, how did things turn out for you? Did you go to university, do you have a good job/career, do you have a nice house, cars, do you have a loving spouse, happy well adjusted children? In short would I want your life for my children or should I maybe encourage them to aim higher than drunk in a park with their knickers down, aged 15? Plenty of us had no need for sex and drugs and alcohol to have fun at that age, life is long when you make bad decisions and there is no hurry for all that shit

Not one teenager I know would willingly wait until they're 18 to drink alcohol. So far removed from the realities of being a teenager today it's laughable

It doesn't make me laugh.

The reality is that in this country, life without alcohol is largely viewed with derision. Why? And why do we not want to even consider changing this apparently universal attitude?

I'd hazard a guess that people in Iceland viewed the initiatiive as hopeless before it was demonstrated to be a success. I'm not saying we could implement it in the same way here for a whole heap of reasons, not least size / population. But what I don't undersatnd is how happy the majority seem to be to just bury their heads in the sand about the toxic role of alcohol. Its not as simple as safe drinker versus alcoholic. Its so much more than that.

If you'd like your DD to become a binge drinker then yes, by all means do it!! However, if you'd like to parent your child rather than be her friend then it's a firm no, isn't it?

Grey, FYI I was a kids who went out at 15 with my mates on a Friday and got pissed, also FYI I never had my knickers down just because I did this..

Now at the age of 33 no I didn't go to university as I was never academically clever enough plus my mom wouldn't have been able to afford to help me go nor would my dad. I have my own car, house, business, loving spouse and lovely life. Just because I did this at 15 doesn't mean you turn out with a shit life and nothing In it.