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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS and DD Wage Difference Surprise

285 replies

Thatstuffedbear · 17/02/2019 11:49

DD, 29, is a nurse, went to uni, did placements of 12 hour shifts in various hospitals as a student, all for zero pay. Fast forward and she is now a band 6 nurse on a busy nhs ward doing 13 hour day and 12 hour night shifts, often gets verbally abused by patients but loves her job.
She gets free uniform but has to pay to park. Her salary is now 28k after 7 years.

DS, 21 decided uni wasn't for him and was lucky enough to be offered an apprenticeship straight from school. Got paid from day one and will be a qualified gas engineer in the summer. He has a permanent job lined up, he has free uniform including shoes, a phone, all paid for, a van, and an allowance to buy tools. His starting salary at age 21 will be 36k.
He works 8 hour days and admits a lot of time is spent in the van drinking tea waiting for the next job.
I love both my DC equally and am so glad they are in jobs they love but AIBU to think a nurse should surely earn more than a gas engineer?

OP posts:
Sadik · 17/02/2019 12:45

Nurses are absolutely shockingly underpaid and badly treated - it's no surprise that there's such a massive shortage. Ditto teachers.

I'm always baffled that governments can talk happily about the free market, but never seem to apply the same logic when looking at skill shortages in public sector jobs. I'm an employer, and frankly what's not to understand in the equation: low pay / shitty conditions = not enough staff

starzig · 17/02/2019 12:45

As for your son - that was meant to be. Not as your son.

Clavinova · 17/02/2019 12:45

But 28K is still a high wage for a lot of people (outside of MN of course).I know people who’ve never earned that, ever (in their 40s)
Are they in professional occupations with a degree though?

Plenty of professionals with degrees will be stuck on lower salaries if they don't apply for promotion. How much can a gas engineer earn without starting his own business?

Once qualified, nurses begin their career at band 5 and will be paid £22,128 in England.They will move up through the band 5 incremental pay points each year until reaching the top point where, currently, they will be paid £28,746 in England. Nurses may remain at band 5 throughout their careers or gain a more senior nursing role at a higher band

There are more nurses at band 5 than any other band

Technically speaking, nurses can be paid anywhere between £22,128pa and £100,431pa in England, however there are very few nurses at the top end of the scale and these roles tend to be non-clinical

www.nursingtimes.net/news/agenda-for-change-pay-scales

Pieceofpurplesky · 17/02/2019 12:47

Your DS may not have been to university or have a degree but his training is equally important and essential. A gas engineer needs to be excellent at his job and be well trained - or else the consequences could be devastating.
You DD has a degree, and the same applies. Be proud that both of you children have amazing jobs.

Looking4wards · 17/02/2019 12:50

I think 28k for 7 years in is not bad. Really really surprised at the 35k starting salary! :o Is there any difference due to where they work, say a north south difference?

I do think that for a lot of jobs, going to uni just isn't worth it. I wouldn't advise my kids to go to uni unless they want a job that specifically requires a degree. I think your son was wise not to get into debt for a uni degree that he didn't need.

Limensoda · 17/02/2019 12:51

Your dd is in a non profit making, caring job. Your ds isn't. Sadly, that's the difference.

starzig · 17/02/2019 12:51

Clavinova. I have over 20yrs in a professional degree required job. (Analytical chemistry) and I am on £26k. So yes £28k for 7yrs is doing really well

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 17/02/2019 12:51

This is why there's such a shortage of nurses.

Doubletrouble99 · 17/02/2019 12:52

We really need to relook at all caring positions and how it's a prerequisite that everyone who nurses has to have a degree, have to pay for their training and don't get paid for their work experience. In the past we had state registered nurses. I know a mum who is a qualified nurse but doesn't have a degree and is having to do loads of extra unpaid study and has been asked for evidence of positive responses from patients for the last 5 years - who does that! This is going to put even more trained people off continuing in the NHS if this goes on at a time where we need to be encouraging people to take up positions in caring professions.

Plump82 · 17/02/2019 12:53

I agree nurses are underpaid but my partners is a trademan and we're in no way living the life of luxury. He was unemployed for 4 years at one point. 20 odd years ago he was being paid £40 odd an hour. Now its no where near that. He also doesnt get any sick pay, holiday pay and doesnt have a proper pension as hes self employed and cant afford it. Hes also knackered every night and weekends hes catching up on rest. So for the poster saying trade work is where the money and comfortable life is i cant agree.

DishingOutDone · 17/02/2019 12:58

I was just thinking what a funny old world we live in when salaries are so different - in the funny old world we need to pay more taxes and elect politicians who them wisely and pay our nurses more. I don't see any other way round it but please enlighten me if you do!

GregoryPeckingDuck · 17/02/2019 13:01

Nurses salaries are depressed because the NHS compromises a large section of the healthcare sector. Never go into an industry dominated by a state sector employer if you want to be well paid.

Raspberry88 · 17/02/2019 13:04

Yeh, sure dd could have been a gas engineer so long as she enjoys working in a sexist environment.

What rubbish. I've met many tradespeople over the years and they are no more sexist than anyone else, some are even, shock horror, women!

There's no reason why girls can't go into trades and in fact many apprenticeship schemes really encourage girls to apply.
I agree that nurses really should be paid better but you can't compare the jobs. Gas engineers are essential and it is important work. Gas can kill and we need to know that those who go into that line of work are well trained.

TinklyLittleLaugh · 17/02/2019 13:12

Presumably your DD has better pay progression though.

My DS went to uni and had a poorly paid first job. Some of his friends who’d gone into trades were a little disparaging. At 25 he’s earning the same as them in a pleasant, easy job. In the next few years he’ll probably pull away from them.

Yes you can make great money if you are self employed tradesperson, but there is no safety net if you ger sick or injured and by 50 you are often physically knackered. It’s not as straightforward as just looking at salary.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 17/02/2019 13:12

It was always like this though - back in the dark ages after I qualified from University, I got a job in the NHS (not a nurse, a lab scientist) and started on a pittance of £5,200 a year. My brother, 4 years later and with no degree (he went to an FE college and got certificates in computer programming) started at £22k a year. By then I think I was on about £10k pa.

The NHS has always been a low payer, in my experience, although there was this amazing restructure at some point in my working life there, where they did away with the bottom tiers of the pay scales for biomedical scientists and we all got pushed up the rungs - I did a sudden jump to £16k pa! Whoooo! Hmm

DishingOutDone · 17/02/2019 13:13

OP surely your kids chose what they wanted to do? I think its very wrong that nurses have to do a degree etc., pay is not great and hours are long but did your DD not have an idea about all this before she started?

MyDcAreMarvel · 17/02/2019 13:16

£28k is a good salary outside London, higher than average.

Bagpuss5 · 17/02/2019 13:18

Many trades people work alone. I think women prefer social contact through the day sochoose care work, shops. Just my theory.

Comefromaway · 17/02/2019 13:21

Well our gas engineers are paid nowhere near that unless they do overtime.

Starting for a standard 40 hour week would be approx £23k, our most qualified are on about £30k

TiReDmUmone · 17/02/2019 13:21

From a newly qualified nurse were told from the start you don't do nursing just for the money and it's right you do it because you love it I'm well aware I could be paid a lot more in other professions but I love what I do Grin

thebabessavedme · 17/02/2019 13:21

I have to ask, how or why do you know how much your adult dcs earn? regardless of the arguments voiced throughout the thread (all valid points) I just dont understand how parents get to know their dcs private business.

NB providing they are not asking for loans etc, thats another matter!

Comefromaway · 17/02/2019 13:24

Our Project Managers are on between 35-45k depending on seniority.

starzig · 17/02/2019 13:39

Why wouldn't family members know what each other earn? I know what all my siblings are on and my parents know what all of us earn.

LumpySpacedPrincess · 17/02/2019 13:41

I'm sure it's just a coincidence that jobs with mostly female employees are paid less....

TheSandgroper · 17/02/2019 13:41

Marilyn Waring has been banging on about this for 30 years. You can google her. She is fascinating.