To ask what your 'secret' thoughts...

[Smotheroffive]

....are? I have been watching Pure. It's got me thinking. For any not aware, its pure O, as in ocd, but without necessarily enacting compulsions (like repeatedly washing hands, opening/closing doors, routinely associated with OCD)
So, people have all sorts of fantasies they wouldn't want to act out IRL.
Also, think things that they wouldn't actually do, or want to see, like in Pure, seeing intrusive images of people naked, or erotically engaged.

Would IBU to ask yours?

So many of these posts are making me nod my head!

Standing on a ledge, pretty normal to feel like you’re going to tip off. Standing on the Tube platform and thinking I’ll just throw myself on the tracks as the Tube approaches. I’m not suicidal.

Often when driving, I imagine just swerving into oncoming traffic.

Stairs do make me worry a little, I sometimes think I’m going to just stumble and go head over heels to the bottom. Maybe cos one time I tripped holding a very new baby and bounced on my arse to the bottom! (Without dropping the baby onto the tiles below 😱) A family friend did actually fall to her death from the top of the stairs a few years ago, her poor husband found her. 😥

I’m actually quite risk averse, so I’m somewhat amazed by these crazy thoughts!

I also have a fear of accidentally breaking the law in a foreign country and ending up in prison like that Panamanian prison in Prison Break.

I worry about members of my family ending up in prison abroad by accident whenever one of them goes away. I've even lost sleep over it.

Spontaneously punching my DM or DP mid conversation which is absolutely ludicrous to me as I would never, ever do that
That did just make me literally lol

Often when driving, I imagine just swerving into oncoming traffic

Me too,that one!

..and the falling down the stairs, especially when babies were young, I mean when DC were babies

Whenever I was pregnant (I miscarried four times) I was worried that if I was alone in my apartment with the baby I would open the window and throw it out.

I had planned to ask my dm to come and stay to keep an eye on me

I used to get one to slash my wrists, it felt almost like an ache, also to just walk into fast traffic. But since splitting with ex I don't feel that way anymore.
Other than that, it's always to do with sex with inappropriate people at inappropriate times, which I resist, unless I've been drinking . I do check out other people's bodies, just give them the once over and have been caught doing it which is embarrassing, because I rarely intend to follow through.

Horrendous shizzle poor friend.

I do know someone who just fell over in the street and died. Freak accidents happen. When I think of the number of times I have tripped over on kerbs and paving slabs or falling back and hitting my head!

Often when carrying the kids as babies I imagined dropping them and them smashing their heads on the tiles. Often now I imagine them falling and smashing their teeth. I read an article about it, it's a very common thing.

I have urges when I'm on public transport to pretend I'm a train guard and can hit people who misbehave with a massive truncheon.

Other than that, it's always to do with sex with inappropriate people at inappropriate times, which I resist, unless I've been drinking

^

This is me. I have an unusual attitude towards men, I can't resist flirting and eyeing them up, imaging sex with them etc. I objectify men in my head and have filthy thoughts about them often. Other women don't talk about men like I do, so I never mention blokes to them. I'm married but can't help flirting with men, seeking their gaze etc. Never follow through with it though. It's like I have a compulsion to flirt - it's my vice.

Yes yes. All the time. It’s wearing. Mine are usually in dreams so awful I can’t live them in the cold light of day- like I was abused and only just found out (pretty sure I wasn’t), I have murdered someone but it’s only just come to light ( this one is s recurring sobbing on waking nightmare I’ve had maybe 3 times) and mainly since having children
My brain conspires against me

I have urges when I'm on public transport to pretend I'm a train guard and can hit people who misbehave with a massive truncheon
^ 😂

I have the bridge jumping one! I didn’t know it was common. Feel rather relieved actually.

I’m also a concert musician and often get the strongest urge to scream and run out mid-performance.

I have been married for nearly two decades and I sorely miss my single days and my beautiful flat.

I ruminate about death and dying all the time.

I am cursed with bipolar and have been unwell for most of my life.

Oh goodness buttonz that sounds like for real? You have my utmost sympathy, please make sure you get help to make your life a better one, to be in a better place. Ever thought its because of your marriage? I know that's another thread, and not asking, just might be worth thinking or talking to someone about

Yes I fantasize about living alone. In fact I've got it all sorted, when DC have left home, DH and I split, and I go and live in a lovely small town near the countryside with a deli, a film festival and a choir to join. I'd go for walks with friends and live in a perfectly formed house just big enough for my stuff. I don't actually want to split from DH but I do sometimes wonder how he will fit into my plans once DC have grown up.

Erm... Suicidal thoughts. I have them on a regular basis. Usually they involve me jumping from a bridge or in front of vehicles.

When I'm in a bad place and see a train company tweet about a person getting hit by a train, I wish it was me.

I have intrusive thoughts all the time, I've never actually told anyone.
It just comes into my head, it can be anything but it's usually horrific in detail, I can be driving and I just start thinking about crashing and then my head plays out the aftermath.
My thoughts usually come when I'm alone doing something, such as makeup etc or cooking- I'll just start thinking and my head plays it out. Usually after a minute or so I think what the hell and just forgot about it. It's not very nice.
I actually work in the mental health field too, and some people do get absolutely haunted by intrusive thoughts.

@73kittycat73 if you're not your thoughts who does that make you- you are simply the person thinking your thoughts.

Not meaning to sound flippant but that's how it was explained to me & it clicked.. it is liberating to separate who you are from what thoughts you think.

Please those having real suicide thoughts please reach out to someone for help whether it's GP or Samaritans, please make changes to make your lives liveable and shout for the help to make it so.

I have so many i couldn’t write them all! I’ve always suffered anxiety, I guess I had had intrusive thoughts before but not really dwelled as they didn’t involve me doing something, however at the beginning of last year I was unwell and then started having intrusive thoughts about me harming people in various ways! I felt like an awful person, I felt like I was going crazy and it lead to terrible depression and me worrying I was going to kill myself. I ended up under the care of a crisis team! On one of my visits one day, one of the nurses said to me ‘what if I told you that everyone has intrusive thoughts?’ I thought HA! Just another way they are lying to make me feel better but then she said ‘if I’m on the way to a particularly important day at work, such as a big meeting, I sometimes have a thought about crashing my car in to a wall so I wouldn’t have to go’! I was GOBSMACKED! It was a real lightbulb moment that ‘normal’ people have these type of thoughts too, it’s just how they deal with them and let the moment pass that makes the difference. She was one of the people that really helped me try and rationalise what was happening inside my head. I still have my struggles don’t get me wrong but every day is a new day

8feet12paws

I suffer with intrusive thoughts and OCD. This may sound odd but I often imagine/feel the urge to throw a drink over/hit someone, just when in a normal social situation.

I wouldn't actually do it but the urge is similar to standing on a cliff, etc and thinking of throwing yourself off/the bridge jumping urge.
For example, I was talking to my boss at work (who I like and get on with), and I had a coffee in my hands I'd just made. The thought just kept popping into my head to tip it over her, even though I would never actually do it. Apparently , this is fairly common with intrusive thoughts/OCD.

I'm always scared I will drop or worse, throw someone else's baby when holding. Or bizarrely, I imagine accidentally sneezing chewing gum into a baby's angel soft hair and them having to cut it out and everybody being angry with me for being so clumsy and vile.

God I have just remembered the Michael Jackson baby dangling incident. I imagined dangling babies to the point of obsession.

lotus I think I read somewhere that thoughts about smashing your teeth are related to concerns about money...

So - SMUG FACE - I live in a beautiful tiny house. It's so small and perfect and I absolutely love it

I do have these thoughts but mine are usually related to killing people I don't like, I have quite intricate fantasies about how I would do it, and get away with it obviously.