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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your 'secret' thoughts...

205 replies

Smotheroffive · 16/02/2019 15:20

....are? I have been watching Pure. It's got me thinking. For any not aware, its pure O, as in ocd, but without necessarily enacting compulsions (like repeatedly washing hands, opening/closing doors, routinely associated with OCD)
So, people have all sorts of fantasies they wouldn't want to act out IRL.
Also, think things that they wouldn't actually do, or want to see, like in Pure, seeing intrusive images of people naked, or erotically engaged.

Would IBU to ask yours?

OP posts:
Original poster
Smotheroffive · 16/02/2019 17:06

Jane Flowers

laiste yes! That is what I mean.

It was such a refreshing thing to see, and I do believe that it scares a lot of people who are convinced they are their thoughts.

I first heard of it in terms of sexual fantasies, that you might feel aroused by when in your head but not really!

I did used to worry a log that the thoughts I had were who i was!

THe threads raison d'etred'etre, blow them open and realise they are just thoughts.

I can relate to the being on the edge of ledges and thinking I have the urge to jump (which I definitely don't!)

The one about DC dying yes, had that too, pictured it, laying out the bodies and so on.

To sometimes just scrape a really pristine shiney car finish, just because it's so perfect! Again, have no actual desire to do this, it reminds me of knocking over a tower of blocks, or carefully crafted sandcastle.
Holding the glasses in the gods, so heavy, so high up, what if I dropped them Confused thank goodness they were on a chain
Flying off a bridge (a bit romantically pictured, instead of just free falling to crash)

OP posts:
Mummadeeze · 16/02/2019 17:08

Sometimes I wonder if really young guys find me attractive and then I remind myself I am 45 and they probably see me as an old lady Blush. It is ridiculous really but it is hard to remember I am old sometimes as I am still really young in my head!

Original poster
Smotheroffive · 16/02/2019 17:08

I do the naked imagery too, had meant to put that in the OP.

OP posts:
NoPlaced · 16/02/2019 17:18

I do sometimes plot people's murders inside my head but that's something I choose to do. What's far more scary is when I get angry and envisage myself battering a person. It upsets me quite a lot on Mumsnet when people respond to comments such as "I could've punched him" with "really? You think that's acceptable? It's comments like these which normalise domestic abuse."
I'm not trying to normalise domestic abuse. There would be few circumstances where I would condone violence. Really, I do know that other people get angry and that it's a rational response to many things but you'd never think so, reading comments from posters who've apparently never even raised their voice.

Original poster
Smotheroffive · 16/02/2019 17:34

How young mummadeeze?!

Maybe you could write murder msyteries, placed as I am presuming you are thinking it through in a way as to not get caught?

OP posts:
Mummadeeze · 16/02/2019 18:02

Smotheroffive like early 20s. Embarrassing I know, that is why they are ‘secret’ thoughts, even though I just admitted to them.

ToffeePennie · 16/02/2019 18:14

Mine are mostly about my funeral and how it should be conducted.
And what I would do if anyone hurt my kids in any way.
And how to enact a glorious revenge on an absolute cow who tormented me for 7 years.
My current biggest intrusive thought is how exactly I would torture the makers of the game “red dead redemption 2” to show them how they have ruined my relationship with my husband and how they have effectively tortured me since the game came out.
But then I’m aware these are intrusive thoughts and linked to my depression and anxiety.

73kittycat73 · 16/02/2019 19:02

*and I do believe that it scares a lot of people who are convinced they are their thoughts.

I did used to worry a log that the thoughts I had were who I was!*

Sorry, hope I'm not derailing here but I have a question? What are we if we are not our thoughts? Genuine question. I've had a small amount of CBT years ago and remember the saying, 'Thoughts aren't facts.' But nothing about who we are if not our thoughts. Really interested to know as atm, I am reading a lot of self help books, meditation and gratitude.

SugarMiceInTheRain · 16/02/2019 19:04

Not a day goes by when I don't worry that DH will die unexpectedly, leaving me with 3 children and limited earning potential. I am utterly convinced this will happen, convinced that my life is too easy, I don't deserve it and that my luck is about to run out.

I also fantasise about sex with other people I know, even though I'm happy in my marriage! Blush

bibbitybobbityyhat · 16/02/2019 19:07

I fantasise about living alone. I browse tiny houses for one. I plan (and occasionally go on) solo weekend breaks. I love my family but I think I would be happier not living with them. Or not living with them 24/7 at least.

CheddarAndCrackers · 16/02/2019 19:10

I fantasise about living alone. I browse tiny houses for one

Me too! I've planned, decorated and furnished my entire imaginary house for just me. Blush

NoSquirrels · 16/02/2019 19:18

OMG, Bibbity - is this an intrusive thought? Because I'd bloody LOVE to live in a tiny house, all alone by some woods. I guess I might miss the DC and DH, eventually. I'd take the dog, though...

EyeDrops · 16/02/2019 19:33

Every time I walk along the upstairs landing or start to come down stairs, I feel unreasonably anxious that I'm going to fall down and break my neck. It makes me shudder, I hate it!

leamaria · 16/02/2019 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LipstickTaserrr · 16/02/2019 19:53

I have lots of the thoughts mentioned, especially carrying my five week old I imagine I'll get to the top of the steps and not put my foot properly on the step and fall all the way back down.

I can't see a plane flying through the sky without seeing a vision of it bursting into flames its awful.

Letloose · 16/02/2019 20:02

When I see people yawn in public I just want to run up and stick my finger in just to ruin their yawn.

PassTheGinPlease · 16/02/2019 20:10

How much I fucking can't stand my sister in law's.
They are the most ignorant, selfish and rude pair of twats I have ever met. They never ever think of anyone but themselves.

They are no help at all when it comes to taking the DCs for a night (once a year if I'm lucky and even then we ask them and pray they won't forget/get a better offer). DS has health issues meaning I don't get much sleep, am permanently knackered and all I would like is a good night's sleep. They never offer to have either of the kids despite one always saying when we do see them I look tired and DH and I should get out more.
They live 20 minutes away, their DCs have left home.
I constantly have to bite my tongue.
DH has no idea how much I hate them.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 16/02/2019 20:14

Iv been severely chronically depressed and had complex ptsd for years.

I feel it would be better if I was dead or if that's not possible then it would be easier for the people I love to die which would leave me alone and without the responsibility to keep up a relationship with them.
It manifests in thoughts of if that train crashed then ... etc

I know that's terrible and I feel ashamed.

noego · 16/02/2019 20:39

@73Kittycat73

What are we if we are not our thoughts? Genuine question. I've had a small amount of CBT years ago and remember the saying, 'Thoughts aren't facts.' But nothing about who we are if not our thoughts. Really interested to know as atm, I am reading a lot of self help books, meditation and gratitude

Thoughts are not real. They become real if you believe in them. If you believe in them they become your reality. A reality that you create. Therefore it is illusory. You are beyond thought.

Think of your thoughts as a menu.

What are you ordering today?

Janethevirgo · 16/02/2019 20:55

Thanks for all the Flowers.
Im hoping one day I don’t feel like this and I like myself even a tiny little bit

LilaJude · 16/02/2019 20:57

I struggle with seriously unpleasant intrusive thoughts when my anxiety is bad. It’s usually focused on something horrific happening to my fingernails, toenails or teeth. I can’t stop the thought invading when it happens, and it’s a horrible experience.

Original poster
Smotheroffive · 16/02/2019 20:59

Sorry, hope I'm not derailing here but I have a question? What are we if we are not our thoughts? Genuine question

I read somewhere 73kittycat about exactly that. It's like these kind of thoughts or images that flash upflashre almost 'leaks' from a small hole in our wiring insulation, if that makes sense.

As our brain goes ahead and makes its own connections without conscious input that often don't make much real sense.

If the same, but exaggerated in dreams. I'm sure everyone's woken up horrified at what they just dreamt, that our fears and desires got mixed up with people and places very close to us.

For me,they seem to come from the most intense of our sensual experiences and drives and is normal that they worry us, or make us fearful that we really do want to see people naked screwing on the tube, a la Pure watching mother go down on father, etc.

OP posts:
findingmyfeet12 · 16/02/2019 21:00

I think about suddenly throwing tea/coffee at people.

If I'm standing in a packed train I have to resist the urge to suddenly bite someone standing near me Blush

As to tiny houses - there's a tiny house YouTube channel that I'm subscribed to. The houses are amazing.

Februaryblooms · 16/02/2019 21:00

Stepping off the pavement into traffic, or into the path of incoming trains at the tube station.

@TheShiteRunner I also have the one about throwing my tea over whoever I'm with at the time, I've never heard anybody else admit that before and was afraid it was just me!

Spontaneously punching my DM or DP mid conversation which is absolutely ludicrous to me as I would never, ever do that.

I get all sorts of peculiar ones often.

Lotusflower7 · 16/02/2019 21:02

Similar to @EyeDrops, when I walk down stairs I think of falling down and smashing all my teeth, it’s such a horrible thought and wish I could stop it

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