To expect DS to find a job on top of attending college?

[PoppingBubbles]

I'm unsure if I am or not. DS hasn't said he won't, however is only taking a cursory glance at job websites each week.

He attends full time college, and does well there. I think he ought to have some kind of work too. He tells me that none of his college friends work (which has been confirmed by a couple when they come here)

I just think he ought to, even a Saturday job would be fine, though weekend or evening would work well too. It's not for any money into the household, I just think it would benefit him in many ways.

At the moment, I'm not pushing the matter, as unsure if IABU

Am I expecting too much? Do your DC work as well as attend full time education?

My oldest daughter who is in her last year of A'levels, has 2 jobs. One in a care home and one helping to put on science workshops. She juggles her studies and work. Currently predicted A,B and C for A'levels. I
And her work helped her get into her degree course

One of mine did. One of mine didn't. They both did equally well at A level.

My rule of thumb was if you are in full time study you don't have to contribute to household finances and I will always provide food, basic wardrobe, basic phone, wifi etc. If you want fancy phones or more on top then you need to make the money yourself. The one who had a weekend job wanted the extra money to spend on going to festivals and gigs.Worked out fine for all of us.

That’s pretty much my rule too.

Accommodation, food, travel to college, equipment, £10 per month phone and basic clothes are provided. I’m kind and also allow £10 per week pocket money.

Anything more has to be earnt.

I can't see why he shouldn't work, I went to college 3 1/2 days and worked 2. I needed the money and didn't affect my education.

I’m on the fence on this one. My eldest is nearly a year through his A Levels. I and my ex DH both give him pocket money. He really does give a lot to his studies as he really wants to get on the right Uni course, so we don’t push work. However, when he does go to uni then I will expect him to have a little PT job to help fund himself (although we’ll help a bit).

My sons both worked from age 16 onwards, ds1 did both weekend days and got into Oxford, got a good degree and now has civil service career. Ds1 also worked in a local takeaway, went to Russell group uni and has a fashion design job + baby business. I think it is a very important part of life for them to work, I also believe it helped improve their academic work.

My DS (16) is doing A Levels and works in McDonalds for 2 shifts a week.

It has been the best thing for his confidence, work ethic and attention to his study. Let's face it, most teens spend a lot of time on technology / gaming and THAT is the time he has lost, not study time. And hur-fucking-ray for that !

McDonalds have also been an excellent employer and I think he will be proud to put it on his CV. He's learned a lot.

My son's school actively encourages pupils who are 16+ to work up to 12 hours a week due to the extra skills gained and advantages in terms of additions to the cv. My son has worked as well as studied for A'levels since he was 16 and I think this has given him many advantages in terms of what he has gained. I would encourage anyone to do the same. They can easily juggle this with college work.

Also...I recruit uni leavers. I would be surprised not to see work experience on a cv although voluntary works can provide some skills.

I worked 12--16 hours a week during my a levels and never found it a struggle, if you manage your time well its fine. I think most work while in college

3 long days does not really equate to studying full time unless he has to self study on the other days but you've said this isn't the case. He should definitely get a p/t jobs

I think the thing is, that, depending on his age, he is being unreasonable if he assumes that you (his parent/parents) are both willing to and able to provide for him without him taking any responsibility for contributing.

Some parents would, some wouldn't , and some might not be in a position to, even if they wanted to.

Jobs aren't that easy to get. My eldest is looking for a job (he hates the one he has but it's money) and is struggling as is my 18yo who attends college full time (2 days a week 9-6) and my 16yo who is in y11. My 18yo has had a lot of interviews in Mcdonalds, KFC, leisure centre, BK, Tesco, bar work, a bakery, etc but never gets any further. It's so disheartening for them.

Lots of jobs these days require experience as well as qualifications.

My daughter is in her 2nd year of college, she does 3 days a week. In the 1st year she had an office cleaning job, mon - fri a few hours every evening, she had time to do her college work at the weekends but the late evenings were a bit too much for her. In her 2nd year she now has a job in retail, she is contracted to do 2 days a week, but she often does overtime. She is doing well in college & at work. She is also earning quite a bit of money from it.

Yanbu. I worked part-time during school and university with a demanding course load and a placement and achieved great marks. Not working and being full catered to imo contributes to the entitled, ‘stressed’ and frankly lazy students I see now doing a course as a mature student.

Having struggled for years to do both college/work and work/uni. I’d say give your son a break and let him concentrate on his grades.

Ds1 and dd1 both worked at the pool. Slide attendants at 15, and then lifeguards from 16. Dd1 also taught dance from 16 at a local dance school. She’s now second year uni - she worked ft in the holidays (local library running kids programming) in her first year, but decided not to work during term time. Now she is in her second year she has a term time job running after school STEM programmes. She gets paid twice minimum wage, which I entirely put down to her experience. Ds1 leaves school this year, but isn’t 18 until next year. He’s decided to work for a year before uni and is crossing his fingers that he can pick up ft lifeguard shifts.
Dd2 is 15 and has cerebral palsy and OCD. She volunteered last summer with a local disability sports organisation. She’s applying for a summer job with them this year. It’s trickier for her. With the best will in the world, she can’t lifeguard, she can’t serve in a coffee shop, and it would take a very open minded retailer to take her on.
Pt work is a huge part of building life skills - and earning your own money is huge. Dd2 volunteers on advocacy and fundraising - there aren’t a lot of pt jobs in that field for school kids

I worked Saturdays and one evening, I think it was good to have something else on my cv, it gave me some (tiny!) income and made it easier to find holiday work. Plus it was so different to studying, I think that was good.

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I f he is doing well at college a Saturday or Sunday job wouldn't affect his studies, it would ease him into the world of employment and be good for him to broaden his friendship circle. Not to mention the independence a little extra money would give him.
If he's one of those teens that insist on sleeping until the late afternoon after a night on his games console then I'd be insisting he get a job, but he sounds like a sensible, level headed person so encourage him but don't force him.

I think a day a week max and/or holidays is fine and it’s what I did from 16 alongside A-levels. But, I did have friends that worked far too much and I think it did cost them their grades. One in particular was doing 16-20 hours over evenings and weekends in a supermarket and I think it did end up being counter productive for her long-term future.

I'm really surprised so many people think it's unreasonable for a teen to have a part time job and study!
I got my first pt job at 16 while still at school (£2.50 an hour!) And still got GCSEs. At College I worked as a waitress for 4-5 shifts a week to cover the rent on my bedsit. Still got 4 good a-levels. You take time off at exam time.
I wish I had the energy now to do that! Your son is young and fit and having a pt job will give him a real sense of responsibility and maturity as well as helping him interact in the wider world and have some spare cash to save you giving him pocket money.

I had lots of jobs in school and college and even another PT job when in my first FT role, that stopped when I progressed up the ladder, but I think it stood me in good stead, I got a mortgage young, always had enough money to enjoy and travelled a lot. Working hard when young has given me the opportunity in my forties to now relax more and reap the benefit.

I had a part time job from the age of 14 and my husband did from 13. It never did either of us any harm and we both have really good jobs now.

For me personally I think it really helped me get an idea of working life. It also helped socially and helped me budget my money etc.

When i was in 6th form I actually had 2 part time jobs and would work in a cafe on a Saturday and then a restaurant in the evening. I would then do extra restaurant shifts in the week. I never once asked my parents for money or borrowed money off them while I lived at home. I only have once to this day borrowed money off them and managed to pay it back within 6 months. It was a lot of money (a house deposit) so I feel proud of this.

When I went to uni i still had a part time job and managed to get a 2:1 degree. One thing I will say is that all my friends on my course had part time jobs bar one. And guess what? He really struggled to get a job after uni as he just didn’t have the social skills we all had. He also had never had an interview etc.

I see no problem in your son getting a part time job :)

I am a third year uni student and Im not convinced part time jobs are always beneficial. I have seen many students quit uni or even just fall behind because the job soon prioritises the uni work. The appeal of 'money right now' often outweighs the desire to work for potential more money in the future and thats when grades start to slip.

I think it depends on the person and their motivation as to whether its a good idea or not.