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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DS to find a job on top of attending college?

251 replies

PoppingBubbles · 16/02/2019 07:07

I'm unsure if I am or not. DS hasn't said he won't, however is only taking a cursory glance at job websites each week.

He attends full time college, and does well there. I think he ought to have some kind of work too. He tells me that none of his college friends work (which has been confirmed by a couple when they come here)

I just think he ought to, even a Saturday job would be fine, though weekend or evening would work well too. It's not for any money into the household, I just think it would benefit him in many ways.

At the moment, I'm not pushing the matter, as unsure if IABU Confused

Am I expecting too much? Do your DC work as well as attend full time education?

OP posts:
Moominfan · 16/02/2019 15:38

I think it depends on circumstances, if your ok financially I'd let them be. My family wasn't so had very little if any spending money, getting a job allowed me to do things I wouldn't have been able to, also meant I could buy things which were also inaccessible. There's plenty of part time jobs available for young people. Learning to juggle work and study will be an invaluable skill.

Chickenwing · 16/02/2019 15:47

How else does he pay for stuff? I needed a part time job to fund going out when I was a student.

Dungeondragon15 · 16/02/2019 15:49

I don't know when this expectation changed and teens became precious flowers who need to be so protected.

Things haven't changed! I am in my 50s and I didn't work in my A level year or at university except during the holidays. Few of my friends worked much either. Those that did a lot didn't do so well academically although it does depend on A levels and degree. Some require more work to get good grades than others.

Bluntness100 · 16/02/2019 15:54

Your posts are confused, you say it's full time, and when told you're being unreasonable you immediately change it to part time, three days a week and no studying on thr other days, which is it? No one thinks three days a week and no other work is full time.

For me, I was more supportive of working in the hols, I saw my daughters job as studying and getting the best grades she could, and she was one of the few who walked straight into a job after uni.

Comefromaway · 16/02/2019 15:59

A full time level 3 course (A levels or Btec) is deemed to be more than 12 hours per week

A lot of local colleges run btec courses that are 4 days per week.

MrsJayy · 16/02/2019 15:59

Lots of college courses are 20ish hours but considered full time courses.

CallMeWoman · 16/02/2019 16:02

Depends on the course and the hours expected on campus, surely? Sixth forms often require full days attendance every day, whereas colleges have days off in the week.

I personally wouldn't expect a sixth former to get a job, but perhaps someone taking a college course. Not sure what jobs are available to teens these days.

Bluntness100 · 16/02/2019 16:03

The reason they are considered full time is due to thr amount of self study required, in the days they are not in lectures or tutotials.few to none say it's just about face time and you do sod all at home.

If the ops son is doing sod all at home, then the solution is not to get him to get a job, it's to get him to do his self study.

Dungeondragon15 · 16/02/2019 16:07

Yes, if it is meant to be a full time course then he should be working at home on the days he isn't in college. If he is doing very little college work now outside of lectures, he will probably do even less if he gets a job.

CaseofEllen · 16/02/2019 16:38

I taught A-Level and there's a mixed bag of students who worked and those who didn't. Overall I definitely noticed a difference in attendance/grades, those who worked often struggled more academically.

Some had no choice as their families couldn't afford to give them any money whatsoever. If you can afford for DS not to work then I don't see it as a bad thing, as long as he is working well in college etc. It's really hard to find genuine part time jobs that fit around a 16/17 year olds studies.

Saying all this if he goes to uni he probably will need a PT job and manage his time really well!

Dungeondragon15 · 16/02/2019 16:51

Saying all this if he goes to uni he probably will need a PT job and manage his time really well

Not necessarily. Many people just work in the summer holidays.

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 16/02/2019 16:56

He should be looking imo but I doubt he will get one. They all want full flexibility now and he can't do certain days because of college.

nugget900 · 16/02/2019 16:58

I think it would effect his college grades if he had a job on top of going to college.
Expecting him to work on the weekend would also effect his college as he needs the weekend to relax and chill out, surely?

Teaonthebedsheets · 16/02/2019 16:59

I worked throughout gcses, A levels and university and it affected my grades because I resented having so little free time. I still did really well but I often wonder how it would have been if I hadn't worked so much. I think summer jobs is a great idea but I wouldn't push my kids to work at the weekends on top of college.

Boredboredboredboredbored · 16/02/2019 17:01

Yanbu when I did my nurse training which included full time placements I still worked extra. I either did bank shifts on the ward or I worked in the bank office. It did not affect my over all results.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 16/02/2019 17:07

No, you are not being unreasonable. My son has a PT job at the local cinema. Min 4 hours per week, occasionally 8 or 12 if they are short handed or in the holidays. I must admit I pushed him to do it as I think it's good to get a bit of work experience but he enjoys the extra cash and gets on with his colleagues, so doesn't mind. (Also free tickets!) If he wasn't working there, he 'd only spend the extra time in bed or playing games or surfing YouTube, defo not doing extra college work, so I don't think it's detrimental in any way to his studies.

EstrellaDamn · 16/02/2019 17:07

I always had to work! The posts about it affecting their achievements are Shock

Work is good for you. You learn heaps that you don't learn at school. Oh, and it stops you fleecing your parents for everything you want.

Between this and the thread about kids flying business class on their gap year my mind is fucking blown.

Tobebythesea · 16/02/2019 17:09

I have worked at least part time since I was 15 whilst studying. If I wanted money to do things, I had to work. It made me appreciate the value of money, helped budgeting for uni and beyond and it helps with the CV.

Dungeondragon15 · 16/02/2019 17:12

Work is good for you. You learn heaps that you don't learn at school. Oh, and it stops you fleecing your parents for everything you want.

Noone is saying that children shouldn't work but I think school work should be the priority. If they work hard at school then I don't see the benefits of extra work apart from money. They can gain work experience during the holidays.

Roussette · 16/02/2019 17:14

EstrellaDamn exactly my thinking!

How it was with us... when the DCs had finished their homework at school, they would be on the blardy computer or watching telly. Some of that time they utilised to work. There was no rushing of homework or using homework time to work. The rest of their free time was spent using some of the cash they'd earned for cinema, trips out, shopping etc. And they learnt a lot whilst earning.

EstrellaDamn · 16/02/2019 17:14

What jobs do you get that are only available during the holidays?

I do not get the issue with working a day at the weekend and a few hours after school.

Youngandfree · 16/02/2019 17:18

@EstrellaDamn I used to work in a pharmaceutical company every summer on their student intern Programs. It was great!

Roussette · 16/02/2019 17:18

If they work hard at school then I don't see the benefits of extra work apart from money

Plenty of benefits. Learning to communicate with other adults that aren't their parents for starters. As I explained upthread, one of my DCs just blossomed from working an evening a week.
You can't always find a 'holiday' job just like that! One of my DCs did some prep work in the kitchens for a local pub for the Sunday lunches, 9-12 on a Sunday morning. She would have been on her laptop if not doing that. She couldn't say she wouldn't do it during term time!

Roussette · 16/02/2019 17:19

*on her laptop gaming that is. Not doing school work!

EstrellaDamn · 16/02/2019 17:24

But most teenage jobs are more 'working in the local Spar' than internships!