To expect DS to find a job on top of attending college?

[PoppingBubbles]

I'm unsure if I am or not. DS hasn't said he won't, however is only taking a cursory glance at job websites each week.

He attends full time college, and does well there. I think he ought to have some kind of work too. He tells me that none of his college friends work (which has been confirmed by a couple when they come here)

I just think he ought to, even a Saturday job would be fine, though weekend or evening would work well too. It's not for any money into the household, I just think it would benefit him in many ways.

At the moment, I'm not pushing the matter, as unsure if IABU

Am I expecting too much? Do your DC work as well as attend full time education?

The fact that someone had a job and they don't think it effected their grades is not really relevant, particularly as they will never really know whether it had an effect

You'd know if that particular person got all A*s wouldn't you? And a job.

Life skills is not nonsense. I've seen entitled, lazy, teens who sit back whilst their parents fund them.

It doesn't have to be 'drudgery' if you actually enjoy the job. And it doesn't have to be seven days a week!. It wasn't with my DCs.

You'd know if that particular person got all As wouldn't you? And a job.*

I bet that very few of the people who did a lot of paid work during the term (i.e. more than 3 or 4 hours a week) got all A* at GCSE, A level and a first for their degree.

Life skills is not nonsense. I've seen entitled, lazy, teens who sit back whilst their parents fund them.

If they were studying hard they are not "sitting back". They will actually be spending a similar time studying that their parents spend working. If they aren't studying, I would concentrate on getting them to do that rather than getting them to do paid work which could potentially mean they spend even less time studying.

It doesn't have to be 'drudgery' if you actually enjoy the job. And it doesn't have to be seven days a week!. It wasn't with my DCs.

Your DCs only did a couple of hours a week though didn't they? Almost impossible to get that nowadays.

It will help to get a job at uni or after college by even working a few hours a week, it’s also a good way to learn about time management.

As I said, for work experience they can get a job during university holidays. They have three months off with no studying so it will not effect grades. You don't need a job to learn about time management. You can get that from studying alone.

No Dungeon they did more than a couple of hours a week. One started off with a few hours doing the food prep for Sunday lunches. Then increased her hours. Her choice. Another did two shifts at McD's. More than 2 hours. With one of them I had to stop her taking on extra work because I didn't want her overstretched.

And I am talking about my DCs and the A*s. I didn't shove them out to work, it was something they wanted to do, they were good at managing their time and had a happy balance of some work, studying and fun with friends. They did not suffer for it and were not working a 7 day week.
We will agree to disagree.

And I am talking about my DCs and the As.*

Maybe your DCs are incredibly bright though and were able to get A*s for all GCSEs, A levels and a first for their degree with very little work. That really doesn't apply to most people. Generally those who do a lot of paid work do less well and I say that as someone who works in higher education. The degree I lecture in is very intensive and there is definitely an inverse relationship between those who do a lot of paid work during term time and those who do well in their degrees.

As I said, for work experience they can get a job during university holidays. They have three months off with no studying so it will not effect grades. You don't need a job to learn about time management. You can get that from studying alone.

Good luck with that when there’s plenty of people looking to do the same all who have worked previously.

My DC worked part time during VI form and got A and A* grades. They still work part time through uni. DS just got a 1st for his latest grades.

If I thought my DC were struggling with college/uni work and I could afford to supplement their income then I would not be so keen on them working. It really depends on a variety of circumstances. Part time jobs really very easy to come by where they went to college and where they live now.

Most of their friends also worked - about 80% I would say, including friends whose parents live in £2million homes/have very large incomes.

Also agree with PP re interviews/job prospects. I interview/recruit and would be far more likely to hire someone who had more than a few weeks summer work experience.

YAnbu. As an employer, I’m always a lot more interested in school leavers and graduates who have some customer service experience, working in a bar or as a waitress/waiter. It shows they can deal with the general public, get to work on time and have some kind of work ethic.
17yos have huge amounts of energy. If he’s doing three days college, a couple of hours in the evening won’t hurt him and will get out of his room.

Many people on my uni course including me manage to work, bring up families and achive excellent grades.
If he can work in a related field then it's a foot in the door.

Maybe your DCs are incredibly bright though and were able to get As for all GCSEs, A levels and a first for their degree with very little work*

Oh please don't be so ridiculous. I won't go into the Uni courses they did but they were at RG Unis and they worked incredibly hard. They were good at managing their time and that was helped by having had some work here and there which taught them how to. If it was getting too much, they stopped work. Simples. One DC did a bit of event/function work as it was only every few weeks. She managed her time for that accordingly. As I said before their choice.

Good luck with that when there’s plenty of people looking to do the same all who have worked previously.

My eldest DD has just worked in the holidays while at university though as did I and so do many of the students I teach. I don't think that the jobs are given preferentially to those who say that they worked in McDonalds or whatever at the age of 15 at all.

Oh please don't be so ridiculous. I won't go into the Uni courses they did but they were at RG Unis and they worked incredibly hard.

I have just looked at your previous threads and in contrast to what you say, you did inisist they worked while at studying at school and at university. Your DD did an arts degree though which isn't usually that intensive so maybe she did have time to do paid work. The same isn't true for all courses and definitely not true of the course that I teach on. Still perhaps she would have got a first rather than a 2:1 if you hadn't insisted that she worked.

Everyone I knew had a job. I saved for 6 months travel and an exchange. We all got good degrees, first class honours in mine and a number of friends cases. You just have to accept that life isn’t a party, and when you start proper work you realise that life was actually pretty much a party.

Who's working in McD's at 15? The minimum age is 16 for starters. One of my DC worked there for a year whilst in sixth form when she was 17. She actually did learn whilst there believe it or not (mostly to work hard at school so she didn't end up there!)

Dungeon call it what you want. Insist. Encourage. Whatever. We discussed it between us. I encouraged them to try some work to start with. They took to it. They liked the money.

No where have I said my DD did an Arts Degree. You are muddling me up with someone else. Both of their degree courses were very intensive. I have a DSS and maybe that is who you are referring to.

I will be encouraging my children to look for part time work post GCSEs/as soon as they're old enough. It's great to not only earn money themselves, but also really helps them learn about the real world and develop social skills and a work ethic. I worked two evenings a week and on a Sunday afternoon while I did my A levels. It helped me overcome my major shyness, plus I funded my own driving lessons and also bought my own car. Also did well at my A levels, despite working.

Dungeon call it what you want. Insist. Encourage. Whatever. We discussed it between us. I encouraged them to try some work to start with. They took to it. They liked the money.

There is a post where you state "We saved for our DCs Uni fees but there were strings attached which the kids always knew about." and "DCs had to have jobs alongside school/Uni to earn some extra money. Even if it was only a few hours a week. I just know that those few hours a week wouldn't have been spent studying, so they had to take out some student drinking party time.... and work."

No where have I said my DD did an Arts Degree. You are muddling me up with someone else. Both of their degree courses were very intensive. I have a DSS and maybe that is who you are referring to

In febuary 2018 you stated "Although she went to RG Uni, Arts degree, 2:1, I wouldn't call her exceptional but she is in a career and a hefty salary in Marketing."

My DS has worked since he was 16 and at college. His course was 3 days a week. Initially he got a weekend job but after a bit of time, changed his hours to evenings so he could see his friends more. Any money he earned was his, so he went out and about and got a social life too.

He's now in full time work and his employer said that partly why they hired him was because he had worked before and wasn't afraid to work.

DS wants to work part-time this summer and continue when he starts sixth form. He wants the independence it will afford. I’m happy for him to do so, he can always stop if he feels it’s beginning to impinge on his studies. It’s a valuable experience, teaches time and money management (and appreciation) that no amount of nagging can. Biggest obstacle at 16 is finding a fair day’s pay for a fair day’s work.

You are extremely over invested in me, aren't you Dungeon? I find it incredibly weird when a MNer trawls through thousands of posts over years of a particular poster to try and prove a point. The majority of people on here say that working alongside education was a good thing for them and you don't like to be wrong.

FYI not that I care I sometimes change a few minor details for privacy's sake. But don't let that worry you one little bit.

BTW I won't be trawling through all your posts to fact check. But I also won't be engaging with you any more, I'm finding it stalkerish.

You are extremely over invested in me, aren't you Dungeon? I find it incredibly weird when a MNer trawls through thousands of posts over years of a particular poster to try and prove a point.

Ha Ha. I didn't trawl through thousands of posts. It was a quick 5 second search. Much less time than it takes to write a post!
I can just tell when someone is bullshitting to try and win a point and so I checked to see if I was right and I was!

I can’t believe some of you would listen to the college and not let your dc work.

I did college 3 days, 2 days placement. I worked Wednesday and Thursday evening, Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon. I made a mint whilst studying. I’d get home from my evening shifts and study or do my homework/ research until 2am, back up in the morning, straight to college or placement, passed with a distinction.
My dB never worked and he struggled to get work after university as he never worked.

I do think it also gives confidence to a teen to work, as well as work experience.

Totally agree Longdistance. At that age they are remarkably resilient.

From a practical point of view I think working even one day a week alongside studying is good for them. It gives them real work experience, gives them independence to manage their own money as well as showing potatntial employers they can manage their time and be self sufficient.
I worked 16 hours a week in a call centre whilst at college and it was a wonderful experience for me. I also achieved an A at HNC and went on to get a first class honours degree so It didn't negatively impact my studies at all.