Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be angry that I was called a home wrecker, and that this is weird?

177 replies

TakeTwoOfThat · 15/02/2019 19:05

So a lot of people on here will know my story about my husband leaving me and keeping me hung on for months while he went straight into a new relationship with a woman a few weeks after Leaving me and she's pregnant and then he asked for me back. Anyway there a little back story

So he's not with her now, he asked for me back. Which is a cheek after he left me and saw me begging and crying when he left and he left me to bring up our 5 children

So this woman messaged my daughter from her daughters phone ( yes he introduced my kids to her a month after leaving me and allowed them to be friends and lied to me about who she really was and said it's his friend. Anyway the message read 'hi xxxxxx can you tell your mum to msg my mum on xxxxxxxxx as she has something important to tell her'
My daughter was confused because they don't know about this unborn baby or that she was actually his gf and not his friend so was confused. And I'm angry she used my daughter to get to me! This happened this morning. I didn't message her back as I don't want to be in the drama., although I am curious as to why she wants to message me.

I asked him why she thinks he has the right to do this and he said he doesn't know and she probably wants drama and that he can't understand why she would want to talk to me because she said she hates me and that she's called me a home wrecker. He said he told her she has no right to say that about me but I'm angry that this woman thinks I'm a home wrecker when I was the one who was left with 5 kids after a 14 year marriage. I don't want to be a part of their drama yet she's using my daughter. I didn't want to block that kid from talking to my daughter because the kids are innocent but I have had to block her from my daughters phone now.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/02/2019 19:31

Yep, Bert

GertrudeCB · 15/02/2019 19:32

Tell the pair of them to fuck off then block. Job done.

IDoN0tCare · 15/02/2019 19:33

I bet he was screwing around behind her back and she got shot of him. That’s why he’s determined to stop you talking to her. I find it hard to believe she’d call you a home wrecker, unless he has lied to her about you. Contact her, OP. I t can’t be any worse than what’s already happened.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 15/02/2019 19:36

Why does she hate you? Probably because he's told her lies about you - just like he's probably doing with you regarding her now.

He's played you both.

gamerwidow · 15/02/2019 19:37

We are you believing a word this man tells you. Unless this woman has actually called you a home wrecker to your face then I wouldn't believe his account of what she has and hasn't said. Your ex is loving playing you off against each other. His probably shit scared that you'll talk and actually find out what is really going on.

Santaclarita · 15/02/2019 19:40

She may or may not have called you a home wrecker. Do remember it is your liar ex telling you this. Maybe he is saying it to make you want to 'win' him back and he will once again have a bed to sleep in.

If she did call you that, so what? You aren't and know that, it's her that is a home wrecker. She is also a moron. Be happy you aren't as sad and pathetic as her.

If she didn't, it just proves how sad and pathetic your ex is even more. I would block her number and move on. They are both sad individuals who have messed up their lives. You can do far better than get involved in their drama.

lyralalala · 15/02/2019 19:45

I wouldn't believe your ex for a single second with anything he says.

I'd call her once. Find out why she's so desperate to talk to you and to make it very clear that any further contacting of your DD and you'll be taking advice about harassment.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/02/2019 19:47

No you didn’t say you’ve got back with him but you haven’t confirmed this isn’t the case. If you’re both exes the convo could be interesting. Have some self respect and stay an ex.

ZigZagZombie · 15/02/2019 19:47

She's as broken as you - and as others have suggested desperate and not thinking "straight". The both of you have been royally messed around and strength to you both.

SmileEachDay · 15/02/2019 19:49

She’s gone about it the wrong way, but your DD and her baby will be cousins.

I’d reduce conversations with ex to child logistics and payments only. And actually I’d probably call her and assess for myself if I thought I could form at least a working relationship with her.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 15/02/2019 19:49

I don’t blame you for blocking the other child’s number from your daughters house phone but I wouldn’t trust your ex to tell you the truth, no way. I’d really want to know what this woman wants to discuss.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 15/02/2019 19:50

She’s gone about it the wrong way, but your DD and her baby will be cousins

Umm no... the OP’s children and this baby will be half siblings Confused

SmileEachDay · 15/02/2019 19:51

Oops yes. I knew I’d got that wrong but couldn’t work out why 😂😂

Lifeisabeach09 · 15/02/2019 20:01

Definitely a case of the pot calling the kettle....
I'd text her in response to being called a homewrecker.
As for your bastard husband, do not take the fucker back.

Tistheseason17 · 15/02/2019 20:11

I'd block her and take everything HE says with a pinch of salt.

You have no idea what lies he told her, too.

RomanyQueen1 · 15/02/2019 20:15

Well, fool for having him back.
Do you have no self respect? get rid and leave them to it.
Maybe she wants to tell you they are still seeing each other.
I think your kids will be very involved when your h and her are mummy and daddy together.

minisoksmakehardwork · 15/02/2019 20:19

Whether you like it or not, your children are half siblings and should at least know of each other's existence to avoid just one example of several where couples did not know they were related.

Personally I would contact her and pass on your own contact information. Whether this is your telephone number or a email address only for her is up to you. You don't have to be bosom buddies or facilitate contact between half siblings - that will be for their dad to arrange.

In addition, remember the lies etc he told you, and has no doubt fed her. I'd wonder why he repeated what she allegedly said back to you. It's a sure way of making you loath her without actually having spoken to her. Your ex is going to be thoroughly invested in making sure you two don't get together and compare notes to reveal the truth.

And, whether you are or not, between the lines in reading that the two of you could well be back together, just from how you've written what you have. And if your aren't, that you might be considering it.

Belenus · 15/02/2019 20:23

I know YOU called me a home wrecker and I think you need to take a good look in the mirror.

The OP only knows what the exH told her. And phoning the OW and shouting at her just plays right into his hands.

Belenus · 15/02/2019 20:25

Can people please warn if it's a Daily Mail link? I won't click on them if I know that's what they are in advance.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 15/02/2019 20:29

Oh dear and the victim in all of this, caught in the middle is the DH Hmm Confused

DoJo · 15/02/2019 20:34

Your ex has a vested interest in stopping you from taking to this woman, so of course he's going to say she wants drama and has called you names. In fact, the more he tries to it you if taking to her, the more inclined I'd be to hear her out, for that very reason.

TakeTwoOfThat · 15/02/2019 20:40

It would have been easier for her to just message me on Facebook ( she knows my name and could easily find me) and say what she wanted to say and then I would decide if I wanted to respond or not. I think messaging her ( although it's bugging me not to) will just cause more mess and drama

OP posts:
TakeTwoOfThat · 15/02/2019 20:42

I know he could be lying about her saying stuff to me but he could also be telling the truth, I will never know. If she did call me a home wrecker it usher angers me

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 15/02/2019 20:47

Why is he telling you that though? He's got no reason to tell you that. He's trying to wind you up and play you two off each other.

minisoksmakehardwork · 15/02/2019 20:48

Is she able to message you? Is she worried your ex might intercept the message first?

There's a whole host of reasons. At the end of the day only you can decide what to do. But it looks like the situation is bugging you a lot.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.