Boarding school for 7yr olds.

[Patchworkpatty]

This is not a TAAT but follows on from one earlier today where I appear out of step with the majority posting there. So want to ask the AIBU vipers opinions.

While discussing the other thread it lead me to do some internet investigation about the age of children in boarding schools in this country - and was horrified that there are many prep schools that offer 'full boarding' (not weekly and home weekends) from the age of 7 ! I am genuinely shocked and sad that such young children are sent away from home. These places appear really desirable to those parents desperate to ensure entry into 'the better public schools' .

How is this different from putting your 7 yr old in care ? IMHOthe only difference is that you pay for it and there are more activities. Surely it's not right to do this to such young children . I really thought that had stopped in the 1960s .!

ZZZZ All schools are institutions though, the difference is only that boarders don't go home as often.
All children are affected either positively or negatively, or a mixture of both from their experience.
The only way to keep your children from being institutionalised is to H.ed, they all become a part of their surroundings and the culture whatever type of school they attend.

I boarded from 7. Mother died. All siblings already boarding. It was pretty fab to be honest. Amazing cooked breakfast and high tea. Really structured but excellent.

DH boarded at 3 with his siblings aged 4,5,6&7. Parents both got very sick and there was no option except local catholic school. They all boarded for a couple of years in rather exceptional circumstances but it was weekly (and in France).

My DB went to boarding school at 7. He is messed up, we see him once a year if that, he's never managed to hold down a relationship and he has issues with food and alcohol. It is very sad, I feel I have lost my brother although I hope things will change.

His ex class mates fared worse though- 4 of the boys in his class are dead, from suicide and addiction issues. They died in their twenties.

When DM mentions it and maintains she 'did the best thing for him' I cannot respond, if I do I will say something I will regret. I have a DS of my own and no way would I send him to boarding school and certainly not at 7. I used to work with s msn in his 50s who had to join a boarding school therapy group because he had so many issues.

I should add - he is very musically talented and won a scholarship to attend a choir school. Certainly, it was a big opportunity. But in terms of happiness? He doesn't have that and I think he would have still succeeded without attending this school. Also, as the sibling I grew up feeling 'not good enough' because so much fuss was made of him and I felt inferior (although academically I performed better and attended university which he didn't do - even though my education was markedly inferior (attended a large state school not renowned for its academic track record).

zzzz I’d be sorely tempted to swap dh for a live in handyman, to be honest.

Some children flourish at boarding school but it is fundamentally a deeply weird concept to full board (weekly and flexi boarding are really very different experiences) and for parents to want such a strongly institutionalised experience for their DC.

Some of the most famous schools produce alumni of absolutely breathtaking arrogance/superiority/entitlement. That is highly undesirable for society.