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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Roses sent to daughter

133 replies

RosesAreWrong · 14/02/2019 13:56

I’ve NC as this is potentially outing.

A big bunch of red, expensive looking roses have just arrived for my 7 year old daughter. Sent to her by an older boy who she fell out with some time back and for various reasons we have kept them “gone” as his family were way too full on and always trying to make out they were a couple (puke!)

Obviously it’s his mother who has done this but I feel uncomfortable about it.
I feel like this, way ott and slightly inappropriate gesture is just a pressure tool and just feels wrong.

I’m not sure what to do with them and DD has an after school activity so I have a bit of time.

OP posts:
easyandy101 · 14/02/2019 13:59

How much older?

almondfinger · 14/02/2019 13:59

I would too. The woman is demented. Can you give them back to her at school?

Otherwise just vase them up, fling all wrapping and card and just view them as some nice flowers.

Keep your distance, that's not normal behaviour.

MzHz · 14/02/2019 13:59

Older? Like how old?

And is your dd 7, like 7 years old???

I’d bin them tbh. This has whole heaps of weird all over it!

ErickBroch · 14/02/2019 13:59

7??? That is so weird

Not sure what you're asking but YANBU

PinkiOcelot · 14/02/2019 14:00

I don’t think I would like that either OP. Seems “off” to me!

user1494670108 · 14/02/2019 14:00

I'd agree that they're totally inappropriate, I'd either return them to the mother/ family or keep/ donate them and send a message telling them that's what I've done.
I don't think your dd should even know that they've been sent, unless she's likely to see them (the people that sent them not the flowers).
Sounds a bit creepy to me

Littleraindrop15 · 14/02/2019 14:01

Why don't you speak to the mother and tell her how you feel about the situation. The gesture is appreciated however I don't think it's appropriate etc etc..

And after you've spoken you can either just tell your daughter they are for her or keep that info for your self..

EatToTheBeet · 14/02/2019 14:01

Seven!

I’d return them to the florist if you can and I wouldn’t acknowledge it.

I don’t know what you mean by ‘kept them gone’ though.

Original poster
RosesAreWrong · 14/02/2019 14:01

Only a couple of years older (still very much a child himself though)

Sorry, I’m asking would I be unreasonable not to give to DD and to bin or give to a neighbor/return them

OP posts:
UnderMajorDomoMinor · 14/02/2019 14:01

That is v weird! I have no idea why some people insist on making kids couples!

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 14/02/2019 14:02

You do need to speak to his mum though, it’ll be awkward but you need to draw a boundary

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 14/02/2019 14:02

Just when you think you've heard it al....

I'll drop off the roses at your local old people's home and be done with it.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 14/02/2019 14:02

Like how old?

BollocksToBrexit · 14/02/2019 14:02

Bin them. It's bloody weird and creepy.

MumW · 14/02/2019 14:03

A 7 year old can't be part of a couple. I'm not sure they can even have a proper boyfriend.

We definitely need to know how much older. This all feels a bit odd.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 14/02/2019 14:04

Or return to her, not sure what you mean by "kept then gone".

StealthPolarBear · 14/02/2019 14:04

Yes give them to a neighbour. This is weird.

StealthPolarBear · 14/02/2019 14:05

Suspect op meant the DD isn't aware of them

PinkHeart5914 · 14/02/2019 14:05

I’d just talk to the mother and say while I appreciate the gesture, I don’t think it’s appropriate

Then I’d just vase the flowers up becuase they are too pretty to bin and never mention to dd they weren’t sent to her

MegaBat · 14/02/2019 14:05

@MumW he's a little boy of 9 if you read through

I'd just give them to a neighbour and not say anything

PCohle · 14/02/2019 14:06

Well it's a bit much (and probably confirms your view that the mother is very full on!) but it's hardly the end of the world. Throwing out perfectly good flowers because of it seems OTT.

SavoyCabbage · 14/02/2019 14:06

Yes it's a good idea to get rid of them and not tell her.

She's seven, she's not responsible for the feelings of some boy and/or his mother. Her life should be about My Little Pony and Hama beads.

I wouldn't discuss it with the other mother. If this is the way she carries on you are never going to see eye to eye anyway.

MumW · 14/02/2019 14:07

I think I'd be tempted to return them to the mother telling her just how weird, creepy, inappropriate it all was.
A hand drawn card from the 10 year old would have been acceptable in an aw, bless him, kind of way.

Is there some kind of cultural background here thing going on that might go some way to explaining the weirdness?

whymewhyme · 14/02/2019 14:07

Errr creepy! I'm assuming you know where they live? I would take them and leave them out side the house.

Original poster
RosesAreWrong · 14/02/2019 14:07

By kept them gone I meant I’ve kept him and his family out of our lives since the fall out despite the many pleadings from the mother. Usually I would encourage DD to patch things up but I didn’t at all.

I’m so relieved to read all your replies thank you so much! I honestly wasn’t sure if I was being irrational feeling it wasn’t appropriate!

OP posts: