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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Roses sent to daughter

133 replies

RosesAreWrong · 14/02/2019 13:56

I’ve NC as this is potentially outing.

A big bunch of red, expensive looking roses have just arrived for my 7 year old daughter. Sent to her by an older boy who she fell out with some time back and for various reasons we have kept them “gone” as his family were way too full on and always trying to make out they were a couple (puke!)

Obviously it’s his mother who has done this but I feel uncomfortable about it.
I feel like this, way ott and slightly inappropriate gesture is just a pressure tool and just feels wrong.

I’m not sure what to do with them and DD has an after school activity so I have a bit of time.

OP posts:
MumW · 14/02/2019 14:08

he's a little boy of 9 if you read through
Cross posted!

zzzzz · 14/02/2019 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redandyellowandpinkandgreen99 · 14/02/2019 14:10

Yeah it is weird.

I think I would send them back tbh.

zzzzz · 14/02/2019 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StealthPolarBear · 14/02/2019 14:12

No way should DD be writing a thank you card! I have a nine year old DD and I don't think she'd want flowers. She certainly wouldn't want an adult gesture that red roses on valentines day signifies.

oh4forkssake · 14/02/2019 14:12

Absolutely not ok at all.

Get rid of them or pretend they’re for you.

zzzzz · 14/02/2019 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

steppemum · 14/02/2019 14:13

that is creepy, and I wouldn't want her to know.

I would message the mum, and say that is inappropriate and we have given them to aneighbour before dd saw them, please do NOT repeat in any way.

Or, return them to her doorstep, and send same message

LovingLola · 14/02/2019 14:15

It is totally inappropriate. I would contact the other child's mother and tell her in no uncertain terms that nothing like this is to happen again.

PyongyangKipperbang · 14/02/2019 14:17

I would return them with a note saying that you find the gift deeply inappropriate and you do not accept it. That you want no further contact from them.

She sounds unhinged. Actually the more I think of it, the more worrying it sounds......

DerelictWreck · 14/02/2019 14:18

Absolutely get rid and ignore this crazy family.

But, please don't bin them. Do you have a lonely neighbor or care home where you could send them? Someone might get to feel really special out of this.

ItWentInMyEye · 14/02/2019 14:19

How bizarre and creepy!

RosesAreWrong · 14/02/2019 14:20

No DD would be genuinely horrified at any mention of her seeing anyone. She’s very much “one of the lads” but couldn’t have less interest in them aside from that.

I really don’t want to have to open communication with the mother as she got really strange when they first fell out and has only just started to leave me alone.
But I don’t want this happening again and it was sheer luck DD wasn’t here

OP posts:
turncloak · 14/02/2019 14:21

So many hysterical posters. The child is 9, not 19. And his Mum clearly sent them as a gesture of kindness in a bid to patch up your severed friendship.

My 3 year old recieved a handmade Valentines Day cards from her 'boyfriend' at nursery today. I thought it was quite sweet. I don't know why everyone has to be so miserable on here.

Skittlesss · 14/02/2019 14:22

I’d wait and see if she says anything when she comes out of school. The boy might not even know.

RosesAreWrong · 14/02/2019 14:23

I do think that’s sweet turncloak
Expensive roses delivered is a lot different though.

OP posts:
Megan2018 · 14/02/2019 14:23

It is a bit odd - but when I was 8 nearly 9 I had a "boyfriend" (he was the son of one of my mums friends and we did lots of play dates), he sent me a valentines card and a little bunch of flowers - it still remains one of the nicest things that ever happened to me and I am now 40!
don't tell my DH

But it sounds like there is a big back story here rather than something sweet.

StellaMorris · 14/02/2019 14:25

7!

I have a 7 year old dd (and a 10 year old DS) and I couldn’t conceive of either of them being “exclusive”. Boys are for trashing at football as far as DD is concerned. I’d leave the full on family well alone, just imagine what they’d be like when your children are teenagers.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 14/02/2019 14:25

Bloody hell! That must've cost her a fortune today as well.

I can see how she meant it as a nice gesture, but it's stalker-ish and completely inappropriate. Would've weirded me out as well.

steppemum · 14/02/2019 14:26

So many hysterical posters. The child is 9, not 19. And his Mum clearly sent them as a gesture of kindness in a bid to patch up your severed friendship.

I'm not worried about the lad, it is obvioulsy the mum who is bat shit, but to send roses on valentines day is not about patching up a kids friendship, it is weird.

I would ask though if you are in the UK.
Because when I taught at a US school, the kindergarten kids made love hearts for each other and for their parents on valentine's day. I foudn it weird, as to me, coming from UK and 20 years ago, valentine's day was exclusively the domain of romatic adult love, and it felt inappropriate for it to be celebrated in this way, needless to say the Americans thought I was weird, as they celebrated it as love in all relationships. So if she is American, it is much less weird

Purplecatshopaholic · 14/02/2019 14:27

That is Creepy As! Avoid. And either bin the flowers or hand them in to a hospital or somewhere that would appreciate them. Weird woman!

turncloak · 14/02/2019 14:27

deeply inappropriate

It's a bunch of flowers. Not lingerie. Not a box of chocolate willies from Ann Summers. Flowers. Please get some perspective.

Calloway · 14/02/2019 14:27

It's such an OTT thing to do from a woman who sounds pretty intense as it is.

RedBerryTea · 14/02/2019 14:28

How very strange and inappropriate. Why did they fall out?

Calloway · 14/02/2019 14:28

World of difference between a cute handmade card and someone shelling out ££ on roses for a 7 year old.