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Original poster

Roses sent to daughter

133 replies

RosesAreWrong · 14/02/2019 13:56

I’ve NC as this is potentially outing.

A big bunch of red, expensive looking roses have just arrived for my 7 year old daughter. Sent to her by an older boy who she fell out with some time back and for various reasons we have kept them “gone” as his family were way too full on and always trying to make out they were a couple (puke!)

Obviously it’s his mother who has done this but I feel uncomfortable about it.
I feel like this, way ott and slightly inappropriate gesture is just a pressure tool and just feels wrong.

I’m not sure what to do with them and DD has an after school activity so I have a bit of time.

OP posts:
SpiritedLondon · 14/02/2019 14:49

Does the crazy lady have any daughters of her own? I wonder if she has a desire for a daughter to do dress up and girly things with and is creating a fantasy situation for herself - either way.... weird.

INeedNewShoes · 14/02/2019 14:50

I'd be concerned that by binning them it almost turns it into an even bigger thing. The danger is that if you don't tell your daughter she'll be in for a very confusing conversation with the boy or his mother.

I would keep them, show her them when she gets home, talk about why it's inappropriate and then ask her whether she thinks she'd like to give them to a particular elderly neighbour who might be absolutely delighted to be presented with flowers from your daughter.

Italiangreyhound · 14/02/2019 14:51

RosesAreWrong

"I’m asking would I be unreasonable not to give to DD and to bin or give to a neighbor/return them"

Not at all unreasonable.

Depending what you think the response will be I'd either give them to a neighbour or return them. If returning them would mean come back from the other mum, I'd give them to the neighbour.

It's definitely odd behaviour from the other mum.

abbsisspartacus · 14/02/2019 14:53

Yellow would be far more appropriate red is just weird

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 14/02/2019 14:53
Confused

I’d throw away the card and put them in a vase.

I wouldn’t mention it to your DD and I wouldn’t acknowledge the mother.

She sounds beyond weird so I would not engage with the crazy now you have disentangled yourself

OddCat · 14/02/2019 14:53

Is there any chance that the lad would be able to contact your dd and ask if she got the flowers ? I wonder if batshit mother has told him what she's done ?

I do think you should just ignore it though because as you say, if you contact her it could open the door for her to start communication again.

SpanielEars070 · 14/02/2019 14:54

You could return them to the florist. My Mum is one, and I used to work delivering for her. We had a few occasions where the recipient was very upset receiving flowers and we would take them back again. We would contact the sender telling them the flowers had been refused at the delivery and we could refund all but the delivery charge.

At least that way you wouldn't have to make contact at all?

Interceptor999 · 14/02/2019 14:54

Oh it's Valentines Day just give your DD the flowers and let her enjoy them. You can still monitor the relationship without ruining a very nice gesture. Were you not young once OP?

AryaStarkWolf · 14/02/2019 14:57

Oh it's Valentines Day just give your DD the flowers and let her enjoy them. You can still monitor the relationship without ruining a very nice gesture. Were you not young once OP?

She's 7 not 14 Hmm

glamorousgrandmother · 14/02/2019 14:58

Were you not young once OP?
Seven though!! Did you get sent red roses when you were 7?
I'd return them to the florist or give them away and tell the mother what I'd done if she asked.

Yougotdis · 14/02/2019 14:58

Take them back to the florist,explain the situation and say sadly your going to have to refuse them.

Italiangreyhound · 14/02/2019 14:58

But there is no relationship to monitor, just two friends who fell out.

shitholiday2018 · 14/02/2019 15:01

Yeah I also think it’s very odd. I wouldn’t want them around as the message they send is just weird and wouldn’t want my daughter to know about them either.

I wouldn’t make contact at all. I’d pass them on or bin them. I wouldn’t mention it again. If mum gets in touch, just say you thought it was an unusual gesture between kids and decided not to give them. Then don’t engage. They sound like people to keep at a distance.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/02/2019 15:01

Yanbu. This woman is trying to take ownership of your dd. Maybe it is a warped sorry but there is allow a danger it’s going into the realms of stalker behaviour. Keep the card. Send her a message, email if you can in case you need to take this further.

PengAly · 14/02/2019 15:03

That mother does sound bat shit and sending flowers on her DS behalf was definitely weird. BUT I do think a lot of posters are being quite hysterical throwing around the word "creepy" and acting as if a grown man sent lingerie. Its a 9 year old child and a 7 year old child! How is it creepy? over stepping and inappropriate of the mum, yes. Creepy, no. Its just an OTT gesture and a more expensive version of a kid giving another kid a hand made card. The problem with it is it came from the mother on behalf of the kid.

I wouldn't bin the flowers, its wasteful. if you don't want them, give them to a neighbour. I also don't think you should hide them from DD, just explain it to her and say his mum sent them.

Magenta82 · 14/02/2019 15:04

I would take them back to the florist and say that you are not comfortable with your 7 year old daughter receiving them.

But then in my head you live in a really close knit area and it is a local florist that the crazy mother frequents regularly and there will be loads of gossip about how much of a nutter she is.

In reality she probably ordered them online and you would be better off just throwing out the card and viewing them as pretty flowers.

recrudescence · 14/02/2019 15:05

Give them away or throw them away. If you keep them and they’re on display you’ll be forced into a lie about where they came from. Then forget about it unless the mother follows it up - that’ll be the time to make your very great displeasure known. Responding now just opens up a dialogue that might never need to happen.

MamaLovesMango · 14/02/2019 15:08

This is weird. Not nice. Just no.

My 5 year old tells me she has a boyfriend every month. It’s a different one each time. The first time I was 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 but now I just say ‘that’s nice dear.’ Why anyone would be this batshit about it is completely baffling.

Interceptor999 · 14/02/2019 15:08

@glamorousgrandmother I am well aware how old she is, the fall out is between the parents and should never involve the children. I have a 7 year old and would never dream off throwing a gift for them out just because I have a problem with the other parent. Posters on here are always OTT and hysterical and need to get a grip!!!

bellinisurge · 14/02/2019 15:09

Some creep spends all that money on a child. It's weird. Save evidence (photo flowers and keep the card) and dump. If these two children go to the same school I would tell the school there is a safeguarding issue.

MamaLovesMango · 14/02/2019 15:09

Sorry, in answer to your question, I think I’d have to take them back her and tell her it was completely inappropriate and to never do anything like that again.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 14/02/2019 15:10

Oh it's Valentines Day just give your DD the flowers and let her enjoy them. You can still monitor the relationship without ruining a very nice gesture. Were you not young once OP?

What relationship? Child’s 7. There’s no relationship.

FFS.

Bluerussian · 14/02/2019 15:10

Seems definitely 'off' to me unless he is 8 and just bought one rose. That does happen - a bouquet is too much for a little girl.

glamorousgrandmother · 14/02/2019 15:10

Interceptor It's completely different and I'm clearly not alone in thinking that.

Pinkbells · 14/02/2019 15:11

The boy might have saved up his pocket money? It might be worth phoning the parents and asking why they sent them (say you think they are excessive, kind as the gesture is). You would get more detail then (hopefully!)

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