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Original poster

To take blame for dp’s speeding

277 replies

Wrinklyturtle · 13/02/2019 21:09

So basically had a letter through today. The car is in my name and a while back I received a letter for speeding in another part of the country - I gave it to DP to sort as I knew, as did he, that it was him driving. He sorts all the bills, car stuff etc. usually.

Fast forward to today and I’ve received a summons to attend a speed awareness course. I rang and told him in rather miffed tone that I’d received it and he’d better sort it out as it was him driving. His response was basically “oh you know it’s much better for you to take it, I can’t because of work”. I am a sahm.
He has done this before and I took points on my licence for him.

It’s more his attitude than anything it’s like “my time is much more important than yours - you are sat at home all day”. No apology or anything, it’s just expected that il suck it up.

He also chastised me for calling him at work and shouting down the phone (I didn’t shout I raised my voice cos I was miffed at his response). He said I sound like a banshee shouting down the phone in the office.
Does anyone else just take shit like this for the sake of the family?

OP posts:
AlexaAmbidextra · 13/02/2019 23:01

I know it's illegal but he was going to be banned

rosesn. Perhaps it would have been safer for the rest of the roadgoing public if he had been taken off the roads. He’s obviously too arrogant to learn his lesson.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 13/02/2019 23:02

What if he hits somebody whilst doing his speeding one day OP ?

Taking the rap for that too ??

Mmmhmmm · 13/02/2019 23:02

He's being VVVU.

AlexaAmbidextra · 13/02/2019 23:04

Just a thought. Do you think that men ever take their wives/partners speeding points? Have a guess. Hmm

Youandwhosearmy · 13/02/2019 23:05

Is this for fucking real?!

I've driven for decades, tens of thousands of miles per year, in vans, cars and lorries. My daily commute is over a hundred miles round trip and I've never once had a speeding rap because I'm not a fucking arrogant wanker.

Don't do it OP, ffs let him face the consequences of driving like a bellend

ClashQueen · 13/02/2019 23:05

You left him to fill the form out the first time, and he lied. Now your response is to ask him to contact the DVLA to come clean. It's your car, this stuff (responding to DVLA correspondence etc..) is part of being a car owner. Besides, he's filled the form out and signed it as you.. as far as the DVLA are concerned he has nothing to do with any of this.
Take some bloody responsibility for your own admin.

Youandwhosearmy · 13/02/2019 23:07

Ugh also maybe stop letting him drive your bloody car, he is clearly an idiot. And answer your own post, why are you being so passive?

SaturdayNext · 13/02/2019 23:08

Chris Huhne and Vicky Pryce got 8 months imprisonment each for this. If your husband tries to suggest you won't be caught, point out that that's obviously what Huhne thought.

SaturdayNext · 13/02/2019 23:11

I know it's illegal but he was going to be banned and it would of been really hard on the family if he was banned

Rosesn, won't it be a lot harder on the family if or when you and your husband both go to prison?

I also know a lot of people who have been banned for 6 months and even 8 year and driven everyday of their ban and didn't get caught!

You know some pretty horrible and dangerous people, Rosesn.

LoniceraJaponica · 13/02/2019 23:12

Why aren't YOU dealing with this? It is your car. It is your responsibility.

Or have we gone back to the 1950s where the little woman does exactly what her husband tells her to?

Or is your husband a manipulative bully?

Trippedupagain · 13/02/2019 23:16

The photos those speed cameras take are surprisingly clear. My DH was caught speeding in my car and to be absolutely honest neither of us was entirely sure who was driving that day so I asked the police for the photo and it was him, clear as day. Such a great feeling when I saw that! I've no doubt they could check those photos when you go for the speed awareness course if they wanted to.

Yabbers · 13/02/2019 23:19

You’ve got bigger issues here than a speeding ticket.

I can see a couple sitting down and discussing this. But for him to just assume you will do it (again.??) and have a go the way he did about you shouting at him, he clearly is a controlling twat.

Why is the car (and I presume insurance) in your name? Could that be because it’s cheaper? If he drives the car daily and you don’t, you do know that’s illegal too?

AlexaAmbidextra · 13/02/2019 23:20

I think I’m going to tell him he needs to contact them and say we’ve made a mistake - that it could’ve been him or me driving and we’re not sure?

Well then they’ll pull up the photo so that’ll refresh your memory won’t it? I hope they do actually and the arsehole gets what he deserves.

abbey44 · 13/02/2019 23:21

ClashQueen It isn't the DVLA who send out this correspondence and deal with speeding tickets/speed awareness courses, it's the police force for the area in which you committed the offence.

Bryjam · 13/02/2019 23:23

clash

It's not the DVLA, it's the police!

Coronapop · 13/02/2019 23:25

It was the OP's responsibility to fill in the form identifying the driver.

MargueritaPink · 13/02/2019 23:27

I assume someone has mentioned the disgraceful and shameless Fiona Onasanya?

ClashQueen · 13/02/2019 23:28

Point taken.. I've never had one of these letters! Assumed (incorrectly) that it was the DVLA

Blackbear10 · 13/02/2019 23:34

OP seriously it’s not worth it! Phone the DVLA and tell them it wasn’t you driving and your DH got the days mixed up.

You could go to prison!

What if they check the speeding picture and notice it was a man? (I.e. clearly your husband) you’ll both be up shit creek.

Bryjam · 13/02/2019 23:46

It’s nothing to do with the DVLA.

Jux · 13/02/2019 23:53

Stop pussyfooting around, you're trying toplacate him AND avoid breaking the kaw at the same time, but you can't. The two are mutually exclusive and they're going to give someone points and also possibly send you to prison for lying.

Ring them up, tell them you trusted your dh to fill the form in but he's made a mistake, that you were not driving and he was. They've probably come across umpteen million arrogant men who think their wives should take the points for them, so they won't be surprised.

Girlicorne · 14/02/2019 00:07

Don't do this, as everyone else has said its illegal and you can go to prison! He shouldn't even be asking you. I had to do a speed awareness course last year and I did it on a Saturday. They do them 6 days a week daytime and evenings. I m sure he can fit it in, and if not he can take the fine and the points!!

makingmammaries · 14/02/2019 02:16

For info, from the Leics Police website:

‘We have got a speeding ticket for our car but we cannot remember who was driving?

It is the responsibility of the last known registered keeper of the vehicle to provide details of who was driving at the time of the alleged offence. Failure to do so could result in a fine.

If you do not know who was driving then you should contact the Central Ticket Office of the force concerned who will advise you what action to take as policy may vary from force to force. Photographic evidence (if available) may resolve the issue.

If it is a company vehicle and no driver can be identified then it may be the company secretary/director who is prosecuted for failure to furnish driver details. A company may argue that they don't keep records of who drives their vehicles so the required information cannot be supplied. However, any such argument will fail at court unless the company can prove not only that it doesn't keep records but also that failing to keep records is reasonable in the circumstances.’

OP, think carefully about what the PP above, who is a magistrate, advised and do what is likely to bring the least harm to your family. Put all the emotive ‘he could kill someone’ and ‘he’s a bully’ messages aside. Any of us could kill someone: you don’t have to speed to do that. He might or might not be a bully, and only you know. Your call.

AlexaAmbidextra · 14/02/2019 02:58

If you do not know who was driving then you should contact the Central Ticket Office of the force concerned who will advise you what action to take as policy may vary from force to force. Photographic evidence (if available) may resolve the issue.

MakingMammaries. But they do know who was driving so the info you have posted is irrelevant. You seem very keen to aid and abet the OP and her husband in their perversion of the course of justice. Why is that?

OnTheHop · 14/02/2019 03:36

Arrogant twat that he is not many people are keen to take a step that can directly result in their partner going to prison.

The point is that lying about this (if that is what he has done) is perverting the course if justice and there is no ‘get out of jail free’ card, as the magistrate PP said.

OP: did he actually send the form back havjng put you as the driver or did he just ignore it and do nothing? And they have issued the summons by default?