To call out this "vegan"?

[user1486250399]

I'm not actually going to! I know it would be so petty. But it's SO tempting.
She posts loads on social media - videos of cruelty on dairy farms and very self-righteous statements about how everyone needs to stop killing babies, why don't you care you are killing the planet?! What are YOU doing to stop cruelty? When are you going to wake up? Etc.
She was stood alone in the kitchen at a BBQ last summer at a mutual friends house and I walked in and she looked like a rabbit in the headlights. I didn't realise why as I don't care what people eat so I didn't notice but then she said "oh you've caught me being naughty and having some haloumi!"
Fast forward months of more self richeous and aggressive posts.
Then the other day she posted on Instagram a picture of her eating a chocolate mousse. I commented "looks lovely -what is it?" She says "it was! Galaxy chocolate mousse".
And I soooo wanted to say "oh wow I didn't realise galaxy chocolate mousse was vegan!"

Would it make it easier if she called herself 'mostly vegan'. No question from an environmental, animal welfare and health perspective any increase in veganism is a good thing. But it's hard and it's not a religion. I agree the in the face stuff can be too much, but the intention is good. Ask yourself why someone changing their habits 99% or even 90% for the greater good makes you feel so angry and so controlling?

Thanks importantkath. I try to look at the labels to see if it's local and am aware that the milk in my cheese might have been produced in Poland or somewhere, even if the cheese was made in the UK.
I'm not too bothered by what people choose to eat but if they wish to be preachy about it and then do the opposite then I think they leave themselves open to criticism.

I'd absolutely call her out on it (I'm a vegan by the way but not a preachy vegan, can't stand them!)

@MikeUniformMike absolutely. I have never ever met any of these in your face vegans. Most people I know prefer the term 'plant based diet' as the term vegan does seem to provoke vitriol (as seen on this thread). Sometimes I think people just like to do a bit of vegan bashing for the hell of it, and because it is easier to judge someone (and feel superior if they are judged to fail) than to actually consider the motives for their choices.

Yanbu. Bf is vegetarian, her sister is apparently too despite eating fish and turkey. It really winds her up when her dsis goes on about it on Instagram then posts fishy dishes since a) she looks stupid, b) family assume bf is the same kind of vegetarian and cater accordingly and c) she has a fair few followers who now also call themselves vegetarian when not!

A subset of people who have given up a vice go preachy and i do wonder if it's to keep convincing themselves to stay free of it: smokers, drinkers too etc. There's a big difference between sharing something interesting and educating, and ranting and preaching.

Ask yourself why someone changing their habits 99% or even 90% for the greater good makes you feel so angry and so controlling?

I don't think OP has been angry and controlling. I think it's fairly common for people to be irritated by:

1. Rude SM posts.
2. Lying.
3. People who claim to be morally superior for spurious reasons.

MN would die if nobody posted about the idiots they know.

Ref "Galaxy don't make chocolate mousses" I don't know, the attached look fairly mousse like to me...

cantfindname nothing on that link is a galaxy made and sold chocolate mousse?

ladyflumpalot to you I will conceed! However in my defence, these do not come up when you google as they aren't called mousse! I am making a lot of mistakes on mumsnet this week....

There's nothing wrong with being 'almost vegan'.

Except that it’s not a thing. If you’re vegan, you don’t eat any animal products at all, ever.

If you eat vegan meals, then you’re just someone who sometimes eats vegan means, not someone who’s “almost vegan”.

Lol 👍

@FamilyOfAliens

Are you plant based/vegan/vegetarian?

By all means challenge this “friend” on her choices, block her from sm, never speak to her again. Your choice. But please don’t tar all vegans with the same brush and please don’t use it as a justification not to think about your own choices and their impact on the planet.

Sorry OP I think YABU. Vegans really can't win. No matter how far they go, someone will accuse them of being hypocritical. Past meat eating and taking medicines are big ones. I've even seen vegans being critisized for walking on the road - because asphalt has animal products apparently.

Being a vegan is about avoiding animal products as far as possible.

If your friend is a vegan 99% of the time, she has made a big sacrifice that's actually doing something for this planet. It's a bit mean to shit on her cause she once had a bite of hallumi. In these "what are you doing for the environment" threads on MN people are patting themselves on the back for recycling a few bottles or using "only" one bottle of bleach a week at home.

If you get annoyed by this person's social media, why not just unfollow her.

I've even seen vegans being critisized for walking on the road - because asphalt has animal products apparently.

A truly committed vegan would hover just above the ground.

Are you plant based/vegan/vegetarian?

Not that it’s relevant to the definition of vegan, but yes, I’ve been vegetarian for 30 years and have raised my DC vegetarian from birth.

🤷‍♀️
Life’s a lot more pleasant if you look after yourself not try and change others.
Mute hypocrites on Facebook, set boundaries so ‘friends’ dont preach at you, care a little less.

Being a vegan is about avoiding animal products as far as possible.

No, it’s about not avoiding animal products completely.

No-one is compelled to use the term vegan. Just say you don’t eat much meat. No-one will judge you; it’s not a competition, no matter how often some people insist it is.

Should say “avoiding” not “not avoiding”

@FamilyOfAliens I don't see it as a black and white situation, as you appear to.

I also turned vegetarian about the same time as you. A vegetarian diet is pretty easy, you can grab a sandwich, mayo, cheese, any type of bread without worrying about egg/milk glazing, salads with dressings etc. But I am sure you remember that 30 years ago, it was quite different and social awareness was not as massive as it is now. I faced a lot of judgement and questions as I fumbled around trying to fathom out a new lifestyle that fit the ethics I was so desperately trying to fulfil.

It's all about learning as you go. Noone wakes up and knows absolutely everything about veganism. I only learnt a few years ago that my beloved Worcestershire sauce contains fish. (That was a headfuck!) I know now to massively plan ahead. If I do not plan ahead, and anticipate my days, I am more likely to fail. With for young kids and living in a foreign country where I don't speak the language, sometimes I do fail. I don't beat myself up about it. Even after almost two years, I don't use the label vegan (although I do follow the hashtags) because I don't feel confident enough to do so. And when people ask me about my diet, I say plant based.

I do feel that we are on the cusp of a massive awareness of the plant based movement beyond vegetarianism, in society, and whilst there is still a lot of scorn if people make their journey public from people who feel that the vegan doesn't quite fit their agendas. And as someone who has a vegetarian household, I really would have anticipated kindness and support to anyone starting out on their plant based diet journey, rather than 'calling them out' for not managing 100% success from day 1.

The official definition from the vegan society says

‘Veganism is a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practical, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose‘

As far as is possible and practical. No above ground hovering or excluding life saving medications. Just doing the best you can to make a difference. And we all know if we’re doing the best we can. I’m fed up of other people being the ‘gatekeepers’ and feeling that they get the final say on whether some is ‘vegan enough’. It’s this kind of thing that makes people not want to bother at all.

(And yes I know the above ground hovering was a joke before someone points out my sense of humour bypass)

I dont think there's an isdue with occassion hiccups, most people have them but when you say you are vegetarian for example but eat fish and turkey 50% of the time, you really aren't. If you then lecture people about how bad it is to eat meat, you are a hypocrite. If you are a vegetarian who slipped up and had a prawn sandwich one month- that's a hiccup.

Most people seem to be talking about the latter. Those that aren't almost completely vegan/veggie like my bf sister who is very preachy and shaming yet eats meat regulary herself. She lies essentially.

Its the difference between two ex smokers. One who got drunk and had a few puff one month-ex smoker admittedly with a weakness still for cigarettes. And the other who says how foul it is, has a go at smokers saying they stink then socially smokes themselves. The former is not a hypocrit, the latter is. Thankfully, i have only seen a few who are and most are smokers/drinkers not food related.

You're upset because someone is pointing out cruelty you're paying for on social media (you know you can unfollow someone, right?), yet isn't perfect themselves. Hmm, interesting.

@Hiphopopotamus

The part you missed out from the Vegan Society definition is the crucial part:

There are many ways to embrace vegan living. Yet one thing all vegans have in common is a plant-based diet avoiding all animal foods such as meat (including fish, shellfish and insects), dairy, eggs and honey - as well as products like leather and any tested on animals.

Exactly @FamilyOfAliens , which is why your earlier statement of 'just saying that you don't eat much meat' doesn't cut it. Anyone who is attempting to embark upon veganism has to use the word because otherwise it is so easy for hidden ingredients such as butter/eggs/cows milk to be used. That is why the word is used, rather than to be judged.

importantkath

My suggestion of saying you’re someone who doesn’t eat much meat was for people who aren’t vegan but call themselves vegan.

It was Hiphopopotamus who said she felt as long as you did your best at being vegan, you could call yourself vegan, not me.