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AIBU?

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Original poster

To call out this "vegan"?

229 replies

user1486250399 · 13/02/2019 14:35

I'm not actually going to! I know it would be so petty. But it's SO tempting.
She posts loads on social media - videos of cruelty on dairy farms and very self-righteous statements about how everyone needs to stop killing babies, why don't you care you are killing the planet?! What are YOU doing to stop cruelty? When are you going to wake up? Etc.
She was stood alone in the kitchen at a BBQ last summer at a mutual friends house and I walked in and she looked like a rabbit in the headlights. I didn't realise why as I don't care what people eat so I didn't notice but then she said "oh you've caught me being naughty and having some haloumi!"
Fast forward months of more self richeous and aggressive posts.
Then the other day she posted on Instagram a picture of her eating a chocolate mousse. I commented "looks lovely -what is it?" She says "it was! Galaxy chocolate mousse".
And I soooo wanted to say "oh wow I didn't realise galaxy chocolate mousse was vegan!"

OP posts:
rosablue · 13/02/2019 15:10

In the same vein - I used to know some people that were veggies - but would quite happily eat fish.

I hate fish but love meat so pointed out to them that by their logic, this made me a meat eating vegetarian. Obviously they got very upset by this and called being a meat eating veggie a crazy thing. Got even more upset when I said that it was no more crazy than a fish eating vegetarian and lots of others around agreed with me..

If you are mostly veggie and eat fish that's fine - but call yourself a pescetarian not a vegetarian! (and autocorrect has just tried to change pescetarian into proletarian and then sectarian which made me GrinGrin)

dorisdog · 13/02/2019 15:14

...or maybe just chat with her about how she feels about the factory farming industry, animal welfare etc, without getting defensive.

Ethics and standards change and evolve, usually because some groups of people are willing to go against public opinion and take a stand. So what if they don't do it 'perfectly.'

IDoN0tCare · 13/02/2019 15:15

It's getting harder to keep my mouth shut!

Why oh why, when she’s giving you perfect opportunities. I’d be tempted to dramatically grab the food out of her hand, exclaiming ‘nooooo! Don’t eat that! It’s got xyz in it! Don’t worry, you don’t need to thank me, I’ll always point out when you accidentally get none vegan foods. What are friends for?’ 😁

LoadOfUtterBoswellocks · 13/02/2019 15:22

I think some people just latch on to something to feel superior to people around them, it doesn't really matter what the "thing" is. There are loads of vegans and veggies quietly getting on with it. I don't mind people being "mostly vegan" or "mostly veggie", just don't call it something it isn't. Don't SAY you're a vegan because you want to be a dick about it but not apply the same rules to yourself.

PuppyMonkey · 13/02/2019 15:24

Actually OP, I don’t think you needed to call her out on it on the Instagram post - she did that all by herself when she told you what it was. I bet loads of others reading it had had same Hmm thoughts as you did. Grin

IrmaFayLear · 13/02/2019 15:29

A particular bugbear of mine is a vegan I know who posts many photos of her fancy good creations trumpeting about caring about the planet etc etc.

I simply don't see how eating imported avocados and pomegranate seeds is saving the planet more than someone who's eating British onions and carrots - and even the odd bit of local beef. I read that the avocado and quinoa farmers are all going crazy with their new-found wealth eating massive steaks...

IrmaFayLear · 13/02/2019 15:29

fancy food creations, I meant

StinkyHedgehog · 13/02/2019 15:36

I'm a strict vegetarian myself, but definitely not a preachy one. I am happy to share my opinions if asked, but also happy to let other people eat what they want (DH is not veggie, but respects my opinion, and equally wouldn't preach at me).

However, I get really peed off with the holier-than-thou-preachy-people, so would definitely want to comment on this friend of yours. I have a relative who is a preachy vegan - but has admitted to eating non-vegan food. She has even done it in front of me and, yes, I have called her out on it. I don't care what she (or anyone) eats, but I do take issue with the Facebook/Instagram/everything else comments on how we should all live our lives. Don't tell other people how to live, but then do the opposite.

amusedbush · 13/02/2019 15:39

IDoN0tCare

I need someone to slap food out of my hands. Not because it contains animal products, just because I'm fat and greedy Grin

MaMaMaMySharona · 13/02/2019 15:41

I'd be insanely tempted to call her out!

I've not (knowingly) had any meat or dairy for yonks but abhor the posts on Facebook about animal cruelty. Scare tactics and making people feel bad about themselves is not the way forward!

Topseyt · 13/02/2019 15:43

I think some types of mousse are not even vegetarian suitable, let alone vegan. Something to do with the type of thickening or gelling agents used. You have to read the labels really carefully.

I remember almost getting caught out by that one, and I have two vegetarian DDs.

yearinyearout · 13/02/2019 15:48

I know someone who refers to herself as vegan but eats fish. She will check the back of packets to check for animal products in chocolate for example, but at Christmas ate turkey as it was a special occasion. I just don't get it. Either be vegan or don't be.

RiverTam · 13/02/2019 15:48

there is gelatin in a lot of supermarket yoghurts, mousses etc.

DD and DH are veggie and I spend a lot of time scrutinising labels!

Lovemusic33 · 13/02/2019 16:00

🤣 I have pulled a few people up. It’s pretty easy as most vegans I have met are not real vegans.

One person was preaching to me a while ago, saying how he’s a vegan and no one should eat any animal products, he them messaged me saying he had a cold and was making some honey and lemon, I reminded him the honey isn’t vegan, he argued that no bees are harmed making honey 🤣

I have several friends that post shit all over Fb about animal cruelty and I then see them tucking into meat.

IDoN0tCare · 13/02/2019 16:01

I need someone to slap food out of my hands. Not because it contains animal products, just because I'm fat and greedy grin

Tell me about it! I’ve turned into a fat vegan. Blush

jua890 · 13/02/2019 16:07

I don't mean to be funny but some people love bringing vegans down. Yes sometimes people slip up and I think when you're preaching you should be a bit more careful to practise what you preach but that said it's tough being vegan 100% of the time.

Give her credit for trying to follow a cause she's passionate for. She is human and we all make mistakes sometimes. It's hard being veganbut good on anyone for trying.

HeyArthur · 13/02/2019 16:08

I have a family member who does this. At a BBQ she made a big fuss about eating her own food that she had bought that was all vegan stuff and then proceeded to drink my bottle of wine which is definitely not vegan Grin doesn't bother me though we all just roll our eyes and have a giggle. Shes lovely though and doesn't ram it down our throats.

IDoN0tCare · 13/02/2019 16:11

But she’s not slipping up, jua890, she’s being a hypocrite. Anyway, slipping up is just eating none vegan food because you want it, or do you mean ingesting animal products by mistake. Yes, mistakes happen, but choosing to eat animal products is not a mistake and if you’re doing that often enough, then you’re not a vegan.

WorraLiberty · 13/02/2019 16:20

I don't understand why you or anyone else didn't point out the mousse isn't vegan?

She might not even know

Notso · 13/02/2019 16:21

I follow someone on Instagram who for the first couple of years posted just vegan food. However in the last nine or so months I've noticed loads of posts of meals with meat or dairy as well as the vegan stuff. There was a #vegan on a picture of a chicken dinner the other day Hmm.
I mean, it's not a crime, eat what you want but don't make a big deal with loads of vegan hashtags when you ain't one.

FamilyOfAliens · 13/02/2019 16:21

Q: How do you know someone is vegan?

A: Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Oh that’s hilarious! I’ve never seen that posted on these sort of threads, like, ever!

TildaTurnip · 13/02/2019 16:26

I don’t know what it is about veganism that people seem almost gleeful about catching someone out or exposing them or using avocado transportation conditions and imported fruits as reasons to minimise their efforts.

jua890 · 13/02/2019 16:30

Tildaturnip - I suspect that some people feel inadequate about their own diet hence the "glee" element of catching someone else out.

ReanimatedSGB · 13/02/2019 16:33

I'd just ignore her. Well, apart from putting up pictures of yummy sausages/bacon butties/rare steaks underneath her whiny virtue-signalling ones with snarky comments...

Mitzimaybe · 13/02/2019 16:36

I don’t know what it is about veganism that people seem almost gleeful about catching someone out or exposing them or using avocado transportation conditions and imported fruits as reasons to minimise their efforts

Because vegans tend to be very preachy and "holier than thou" and condemning of non-vegans whereas far fewer vegetarians are like that. Going back 20 years there seemed to be more preachy vegetarians but I guess those ones have become vegan now.

Of course this is a sweeping generalisation but it is my experience and clearly from the comments this matches many others' experiences.

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