AIBU: Teenage friend put on the sex offenders list for 'pantsing' someone at school

[Neonata]

Last week one of my 15YO DS's closest friends pulled a classmate's gym shorts down in the changing rooms as a prank and unfortunately his pants also came down and he was momentarily exposed. The boy then escalated this and the friend has now been isolated for a day, then excluded for a day and also put on the sex offenders list!!

AIBU to think this is a massive over reaction by the school?? He is a lovely boy who is usually really well behaved and generally high achieving academically.

I'm wondering that this will demonise him so much that he will start thinking he is actually a bad person and it will be enough to send him down the wrong path.

Similar thing ‘happened’ in my daughters school. A young girl sent a revealing photo to her bf. He passed it on and obv went right round. Anyone who had the photo on their phone was in trouble and spoken to by the police (obv classes as child porn) I’m sure my daughter said they were ‘all on the sex offenders list’ but teen stuff isn’t exactly reliable. I agree though that the ‘bf’ should be. In your case op sex offenders may be a little bit ott but remember how horrific that would have been to have been done to another child. The child involved could be seriously affected. I certainly would have been as a teen and would’ve took a long time to get over it (if I ever did)

Even academically high performing (and lovely to adults) teens can be bullies and sex offenders

But reading this thread further on and thinking about it, could the police and schools use the sex offenders thing to frighten the children and keep up a pretence for a week or so to terrify them and make them think about the enormity of what they did

All the evil cows saying this kid's a bully, twat, potential pervert, get new friends, etc:
What universe do you live in that you don't find this ancient prank fucking hilarious?

Hi, I haven't RTFT just pages 1-4 with a few of your updates but I can entirely believe this has happened. A schoolfriend of my ex was put on it for mooning out of a car at some girls and he ended up killing himself over it. So the reason for my post is to ask you to speak to your friends and make sure they support their son and don't vilify him. I feel nothing but sympathy for him, a silly prank with consequences like this seems totally out of proportion. Obviously not pleasant for the "victim" either but if that was my son I would encourage him to try and put in in perspective.

Why are you putting victim in quotation marks Mcmooberry?

What universe do you live in that you don't find this ancient prank fucking hilarious?

A considerate one where humiliating someone else to the extent that they don't want to come into school the next day isn't the funniest thing ever..

All the evil cows saying this kid's a bully, twat, potential pervert, get new friends, etc:
What universe do you live in that you don't find this ancient prank fucking hilarious?

I'm glad I don't have the mindset that exposing someones genitals against their will to others is hilarious. That's a truly scary place to be.

The next update from OP will be she can't reply for a bit because DS has got Brock Turner coming over for tea tonight.

@mcmooberry that is absolutely terrible - I'm so sorry.

This is precisely what I'm worried about and why I posted on here.

If people are anything like the majority of posters on this thread in the real world, I dread to think what sort of judgement my DS's friend may go on to experience if he does indeed stay on a sex offenders register for doing what he did.

Mumsnet has confirmed my worst fears about mob mentality today unfortunately.

Pulling someone's pants down and causing them to be naked and humiliated is not the hallmark of a 'nice' boy! You sure this 'wonderful' specimen isn't in fact your own DS and you are trying to get people to minimise his shitty actions and court sympathy with this cock and bull story about having been/being placed on SOR?

I would hope that your DS' friend (and indeed your DS also, judging from your own reactions to this event) will learn from this experience that exposing others and humilitating them is a horrible thing to do and will never behave so inappropriately again.

Have people ever stopped to think that the age old "go to" for flashers/men who expose themselves is "I was only having a wee/mooning/pranking"?

No he is not my DS (says wearily), but a very close friend of his who (IMO) is a kind and quite gentle person.

So OP, you'll pick out one post highlighting ONE occasion where the perpetrator actually had severe consequences and sympathise with that, but the many instances above of others having experienced this sort of bullying don't even warrant a thought?

My son trusts none of his friends and is too self conscious to even get changed in front of other people. But fuck him, right?

This thread has taught me a lot about the culture of excusing boys for thuggish behaviour. The point is that the 'pantsee' did not find it funny.

Quite apart from that, I'm all for a bit of theatre for a minor misdemeanour that's in the same family as much more serious ones (in this case sexual). Nip it in the bud and all that.

No he is not my DS (says wearily), but a very close friend of his who (IMO) is a kind and quite gentle person.

You do realise teenagers act completely different when parents are around?

Op, I am a kind person. Which is why I would never ever do this to anyone; not if I was 10, not if It was for a prank, not if I hated them, not if I was 14, not if they'd done something to me; never, never, never. It is unkind. A kind person would not do this ever.

Don't be ridiculous @slashlover. Teenagers are truthful and honest and never twist a situation to exonerate their bad behaviour. Tsk

What universe do you live in that you don't find this ancient prank fucking hilarious?

This universe. Only bullies and sycophants would find doing this 'prank' funny.

All the evil cows saying this kid's a bully, twat, potential pervert, get new friends, etc:
What universe do you live in that you don't find this ancient prank fucking hilarious?

Well I guess we can pick out the school bully on MN!

To answer your question: this one where people aren't cunts. I didn't even find this "hilarious" as a teenager and certainly don't as an adult, because I'm not a sloped skull moron

OP it might as well be your DS though the way you describe this vile bully in glowing colours. I think you are an enabler and condone bullying and minimise sexual harrassement. Pulling down clothes and exposing someone is clearly defined as that. Gawd this thread leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth. You disgust me!

I always wonder what kind of people still associate with and make excuses for sex offenders. This thread is fairly enlightening